The ABC's of Sobriety

To finally have that "Aah Moment" when you realize AND BELIEVE there is something bigger and more important than you. You are not the center of the universe and running your own life is not working. In my many attempts over the years to get sober, a very wise friend in AA kept telling me the chances of my staying sober, without some kind of spiritual connection, were very slim. She was right! I always believed like many, that there was a God. He just wasn't looking after me.

While I was working, begrudgingly, a 12 step program with my enduring sponsor and going diligently to weekly AA meetings, I started really listening to what people were sharing. How this entity as "They Believed" was changing their lives. Turning their will and care over to a Higher Power greater than themselves. In my case, it was a slow process. No lightening bolt, no burning bush but slowly after my first year of sobriety I started feeling different, actually having little moments of feeling peaceful and truly realizing I was not alone.

I have always felt a strong connection with nature and felt something wonderful, good and loving had to have created all this. How can you go to the ocean, see snow covered mountains or walk through a meadow flowers and not know there is a God. I truly believe for me the spiritual connection is the number one tool for continued sobriety. Whether it is through prayer, meditation, being of service, or continuing in a 12 step program I strive to keep that connection on a daily basis.

This book and the following books I'm listing I have read and highly recommend.

Review
"Life coach extraordinaire, Debbie Ford, offers an inspiring program to cleanse toxic thoughts and behaviors to help everyone achieve an emotionally freer, loving, more authentic life. This book is a 21 day guide that is easy to practice and benefit from." (Judith Orloff, MD, author, Emotional Freedom )

The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse:
A Breakthrough Program for Connecting with Your Soul's Deepest Purpose

"Living fully in the present. Discovering our true calling. These are not impractical concepts out of reach. In Debbie Ford's wonderful new book, she walks you through a process of discovery. Our outer shells crumble to reveal the soul's gold that has been waiting to be discovered." (Marianne Williamson, author of The Age of Miracles )

"Once again, Debbie Ford offers a simple and elegant process to get you in touch with the deepest part of your being, so you can live a life of meaning and purpose." (Deepak Chopra, author of Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul )

"No matter what one's spiritual beliefs may be, anyone who engages in the practices prescribed by the author cannot but benefit. The message is clear and the practice is specific and systematic. I recommend to anyone who wishes to engage in a journey of psychological healing and spiritual growth." (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want )

Relapse Prevention is very important in understanding the complexity and correlation between the way we think, as alcoholics and addicts, and what leads us to relapse. On my journey to recovery, I was in and out of several recovery facilities. In all of these facilities very little was discussed about relapse prevention. The last rehab I was in was about 8-9 years ago. Facilities today teach more about relapse prevention. I understand now that it all starts "IN MY MIND" (the obsession) and goes from there to "MY BODY" (the allergy). I also feel if I had been spiritually fit and right with my soul, I would have been less likely for the obsession or at least be able to deal with it better.

At one of my Sobriety/Recovery book shops, I came across a workbook and text book by Terry Gorski and Merlene Miller of the CENAPS Corporation on Relapse Prevention. Working with these two books together is an excellent workshop. My sponsor and I are working it together, as part of my continued work in sobriety, and I hope to eventually branch out, get my certification in Relapse Prevention and conduct workshops to share what I have learned with others. It is a technical look at the process of relapse, the prevention of relapse and the intricate components of our mind, body and soul/spirit and how they need to function as a unit to keep us in a state of recovery.

Below is a brief description of the text and workshop by one of the authors.

"Staying Sober explains addictive disease, Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW), recovery and partial recovery, mistaken beliefs about recovery and relapse, the relapse process, relapse prevention therapy, and the role of family involvement and relapse prevention support groups. Chapters are organized to parallel the recovery education process so each one can be used as a powerful therapeutic reading assignment to reinforce material covered in sessions." Author Terry Gorski

Your might think putting forgiveness and gratitude in the same line might be strange bedfellows, but for me without forgiveness I could not find gratitude.

Forgiveness

What makes forgiveness so challenging, for so many? The greatest barrier in the living of our life is the destructive ego, which loves to hold onto a grudge and is our greatest source of resistance toward forgiveness. Our negative ego is what blocks our happiness and peace of mind. We hold within us grudges, bitterness and anger which later manifest into stress

Forgiving One Page At A Time:
The Diary of Your Journey to Restoration and Confidence

and poor health conditions.

Learning to forgive myself and for all the wreckage of my past was really difficult. I found that until I could really forgive myself, I could not completely forgive others. In doing my 4th step, I found with the majority of my resentments of others, I played some part in the episode. Whether I was in the place at the wrong time, provoked someone's behavior or was just plain in trouble, I more than likely played a part. I'm not suggesting in cases of abuse that the victim is the promoter. I'm only talking about my situation. The bottom line of forgiveness is letting go and moving on. It is your responsibility to let go of the hurt that another produces for you. The other person can apologize to you for their negative impact, but you still have to let go of the hurt feelings in order for forgiveness to become a healing experience. Anger and resentments are such wasted emotion and carrying such emotional baggage only creates continual barricades from moving on. As soon as I started letting go, I started regaining a sense of inner peace. Sometimes I must practice this on a day to day basis, but again, the bottom line for all of us is letting go.

Gratitude

As I mentioned before in having a sense of forgiveness, it has opened me up to the warmth of gratitude. If I had not gone through all the things I went through, I don't think I would have the appreciation of life I have today. My experiences have molded me into the person I am today. I have a God in my life today. I know I'm not alone and I am so grateful for that. I think of life differently today. I look at it as a positive challenge versus a drudgery. Do I feel this way everyday, of course not, but I do try to stay in gratitude or if I'm out of sorts, stop, regroup and get grateful again!

I have found that having an attitude of gratitude allows me to:

Words Of Gratitude:
For Mind, Body And Soul

Make peace with myself.

Try and have a positive attitude.

Embrace new opportunities and life.

When our attention is focused on what is positive in our life, we are able to see more possibilities. Gratitude opens us up and makes us more open. We can see opportunities and solutions to our problems more clearly. Gratitude lifts us up and helps remove our negative thinking so we can see the good that is always around us.

This is all about change. Remembering the only thing we can really change is ourselves.

Product Description
This wise book guides readers in discovering what they can-and should-change in their lives, accepting what they cannot, and discovering "the wisdom to know the difference."

Thousands of people have been moved by the famous last lines of the Serenity Prayer:

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

The Wisdom to Know the Difference:
When to Make a Change-and When to Let Go

But how exactly can we know the difference? How can we acknowledge our true limits without negating the possibility for dramatic change? In this inspiring book, Eileen Flanagan draws on her own Quaker faith as well as a range of other religious and spiritual traditions to show readers how they can learn to listen to their own inner voice in determining when a change is needed in their lives or when instead acceptance is the answer. These lessons come to life through the inspiring stories of various individuals, including:

The mother of a fallen soldier in Iraq who talks about the power of forgiveness and her work to end the war;
a Katrina survivor who describes how she learned inner peace the hard way;
a family therapist who shares what he learned about accepting the things he cannot change from the car accident that left him paralyzed.

This illuminating book leads readers to discover the serenity that comes when one has gained "the wisdom to know the difference."

After years of abusing my body with alcohol, fast food and lack of exercise, I came to the conclusion I need to get back in touch with my body and start treating it with respect. Exercise has really helped me physically. I have chosen Yoga for two reasons. One, it helps me stretch and get in tune with my body, but it is also intertwined with meditation (Which I mentioned earlier). I have learned, after a yoga session, the benefits of "powering down", relaxing and getting my mind in tune with God. Someone once said meditation is when God is talking to you. I'm one of those people that have had a hard time shutting my mind off long enough to listen, to God but the combination of Yoga, meditation, as well as a daily meditation devotional book, has really helped to bring some peace in my life

Whether you are in recovery or just dealing with everyday life many of the above listed tools can benefit you. I would like to leave you with 3 positive life quotes:

"Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha

"The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it." Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

"Life's ups and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want." Marsha Sinetar