The importance of spoken parental love

How important is it, as children, to hear the words, "I love you?"

Spoken parental love and devotion is important to every child born upon the Earth. Though we may not always admit it, it remains a truth embedded deep in the recesses of our souls.

Hearing the words "I love you."
Desire to please parents
Love makes the world go round
Educating children
Reinforcing love
The sky is the limit!
Unfortunate children
Saying, "I love you," to children.
Memories
Parents' Pride
Showing love through actions
Spoken parental love
Your comments, please!
Saying, "I Love You" is important
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Hearing the words "I love you."

The most important words children will hear from their parents.

When we hear the words, "I love you," after doing something good, it makes us feel proud.

When we hear those same words spoken when sitting in front of the television watching a movie, we smile.

However, when we've done something wrong and we hear the words, "I love you," from our parents, it touches the chords of our heartstrings like little else.

Despite having to face the consequences of our actions, we know that we are loved and it makes the consequences bearable.

Desire to please parents

Positive attitudes

When parents love us and we know it, beyond a shadow of doubt, we don't want to go out of our way to get their attention by upsetting them. We want to do things which will please them so we can show them we love them in return.

Continuing to do well in school, getting along with our siblings and friends, and helping out around the house are a few examples of ways we can act when we desire to make out parents proud of us.

Love makes the world go round

Don't take it for granted!

"I love you" is a phrase some of us hear too little. However, some of us hear it so much it becomes routine to the point we don't even notice when it's being said.

Love is not something to be taken for granted and, while it would be nice to hear those words every day, we understand when we don't. After all, it's not like our parents don't show us that they love us.

Educating children

Teach them responsibility

Our parents' actions towards us reinforce their love for us on the days we don't hear those three little words spoken.

Every time we are asked to clean up after ourselves, to help around the house, even to learn a new task, our parents are showing us they love us. They are also educating us about the importance of working together as a family.

Reinforcing love

There's nothing like a hug or pat on the back

A spontaneous hug, a pat on the back, a family outing, sitting with us while we struggle through our homework, or through heartache, are all ways parents demonstrate their love for us.

During those days when we don't hear the three little words from their lips, their actions reassure us of their love - but the days when we receive the loving actions and loving words are the best days of all!

The sky is the limit!

The world at our fingertips

When we feel loved, we feel we can achieve anything. Because our parents have made us feel good about ourselves, we feel the sky is the limit. Friendships are stronger, relationships are better, school work becomes easier, and we feel much excitement when thinking about the future.

Unfortunate children

Parents acting out of obligation and duty

However, not all of us bask in such joy and hope because we didn't have the continual reinforcement that we were loved - that we were important. Instead we've grown to believe our parents' actions toward us were a result of duty and obligation.

Saying, "I love you," to children.

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Memories

A personal note

On a personal note, I grew up in an environment where my parents cared for my siblings and I. They tended to our basic needs and also spent time with us.

We'd go on family outings, converse around the dinner table, and we'd laugh and joke around, or share frustrations about our days.

Parents' Pride

The joys of a job well done

Mom had the luxury of being able to stay home until my sister went to school. Even then, she only worked part-time - just enough to get out of the house for a few hours most days. Life was good.

Dad worked a lot. His job demanded numerous hours from him. As such, he didn't get to spend as much time with us as he would have liked.

I remember doing things so he wouldn't have to do them after returning home from work. I'd keep the driveway shoveled and I'd rake the grass during summer.

I enjoyed the work because it made me feel good physically. However, the pride I saw shining in his eyes was a bonus. It was the appreciation I needed to feel at that point in my life.

Showing love through actions

But hearing the words is still important

My parents showed us they loved us by their actions, but I don't remember hearing them actually saying the words on many occasions. Ironically, it's now that we've become adults that we hear those words at the end of almost every phone call, whether we're at home sitting on the couch or are walking in the midst of a crowded city street.

Spoken parental love

Must be demonstrated by parents' actions

I tell my children I love them. They know I love them equally even though I share different relationships with each of them.

They know I love them when I'm in a great mood but, even when I'm feeling disappointed in one of them, I reiterate the fact that I love them but that their actions, words, or thoughts are unacceptable. I'm far from perfect but I strive to nurture them to be solid, reputable individuals in society. It's not always the easiest task of being a parent.

However, it's been my experience that when children are told they are loved - because they need to hear the words often - they have a greater appreciation and respect for their parents.

It's essential to demonstrate love in parent-child relationships because, when children don't find the love they require at home, they look for it elsewhere.

Your comments, please!

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Norma_Budden wrote...

in reply to Valerie-Blakely Thank you so much for your kind words!

Posted February 18, 2009