Showing off your Sports Knowledge

First step is to get cable TV. Without cable TV you will never get into the groove of being an expert on sport.

Choose a supplier that has the optimum number of sporting channels available. Don't worry about what the sports are just make sure you have plenty to choose from.

The second thing is ensure you have the biggest TV screen your lounge room can handle. You need to get all the action in the biggest possible way. Without this you will never be an expert.

Make sure you have a system that allows you to pause, replay, record all of the action. You will never be an expert if you cannot analyze.

Finally make sure you have the comfiest seat in the house. If you are not comfortable you will not be able to spend the hours needed to be an expert.

So now you are setup with your large screen television, your cable TV with optimum sporting stations. But you really need more. You need to ensure you have access to the internet from your lounge chair.

Get yourself super connected by having access to all the internet TV channels and websites. You cannot get enough sport remember you are an expert. Your cable TV provider may have a package that includes fast broadband. You need it so get it!

You need to start with the types of sports you love. So if you love ball games such as football and soccer get going on those.

If you love baseball start with that.

Many of you have a love for a number of sports. Don't fret about time because as a sports expert you have loads of time. That is why you have set yourself up at home.

Most digital cable suppliers have the option to watch a number of sports at once. If you have to do that to become an expert do it.

Don't scrimp on your viewing. You need to be knowledgeable.

As you find you gain knowledge in one area you can expand to other sports and increase your knowledge. The more knowledge of different games you have the better the expert.

The only time all of this does not apply is when the Olympics are on. By the law of nature you are an instant expert on all the Olympic events. I will explain further on.

Given that you have a wealth of knowledge in a huge range of sports you really need to share it around.

What it is recommended you do is go to your nearest pub/bar/wine bar/watering hole/club. These places MUST have a sports TV setup so you can share a drink with your "mates", commentate on whatever sporting event is on the screen and share your knowledge on the weeks sporting events.

The more you drink the more knowledgeable you will become and the more "mates" you will accumulate because of your great knowledge.

Don't be afraid to debate with a fellow sporting expert who claims to have a better armchair setup at home than you or has more knowledge than you. Beware though those who take the debate to physical levels. When there is a likelihood of a bit of fisty cuffs leave!

Your local watering hole is a terrific way to show off your knowledge on sport but it is rather insular. Why not keep a radio with you at all times and scan the talk back radio stations, particularly the sporting ones.

Talk back radio stations offer a great way for you to let everybody know how a game should be played, understand the rules and understand the politics of a game. Don't hold back, even if you are out and about. Ring those radio stations and let everybody know that you have knowledge on sport and help those less fortunate than you how a game should be played.

Don't limit your knowledge on the games themselves. Get into the ins and out of the players. Don't be shy to let others know what your thoughts are on the personal lives, playing skills or professional status is of players.

It is all part of you being an expert!

It is plain and simple you don't need to know the rules of any games or sport. You already know them don't you?

Get bogged down on rules and your will never become an expert. It is all about tactics and the people. So forget the rule books you already know them!

The Olympics are a time for you to shine. By very nature you become an instant expert on absolutely everything about the Olympics. It is best you take leave from any job you may have at this time so you can live in your comfy armchair to take in everything on your lovely big TV screen.

Here are some areas you will find yourself an expert on:

- Coaches
- All Olympians particularly the record breakers
- The Olympic venue
- The actual telecasts and how they are presented
- The rules of every event
- The scoring system of every event
- The technique of all Olympians
- The personal lives of everybody involved
- The Olympic Committee... personal lives and organization of the games
- Doping and drugs at the games including scientific facts
- The personal lives and commentating techniques of everybody presenting the different sports
- All technical terminology that is normally only privy to those participating

You should be doing this for all Olympics...

- Regular Olympics
- Winter Olympics
- Para-Olympics

You need to maintain your status of expert so whatever you do don't:

- spend too much time on one sport
- forget to pay your cable bill
- forget to pay your internet bill
- forget to pay your electricity bill
- get too bogged down on your personal life

Now you are probably thinking that a sports expert would eat pretty poorly and you would be fair in thinking this. But, like all those sports people you need to ensure you stay in top condition.

It is recommended that you have a good wife or partner that understands your nutritional needs. It is her job to keep your internal fitness up. So, here is how your diet should look:

Monday to Friday:
3 wholesome meals incorporating all the food groups. Go easy on the alcohol on these days as you still have to work in your regular job.

Friday Night:
You will probably visit your "mates" at your local watering hole so get on the booze you need it to really tackle the big sporting issues.

Saturday and Sunday:
Try your best to stick to the food groups but you should ensure there is a good supply of beer in the fridge for both yourself and any mates that drop by. You will really need it on the weekend because that is when there is an abundance of sporting events to take in and you need extra assistance.

Saturday Night:
Again you will probably go to your local watering hole. Because you have had a few beers during the day it is best you get a taxi or your wife/partner to drive you there. Saturday nights are a great night because there will be more of your "mates" there to share your expert knowledge with.

Like many you will have to still hold down a job. This is challenging but not insurmountable. You need to ensure you keep up with what is happening in the sports world so here is how you do it:

- have a notebook with wireless internet
- have a radio at all times
- have access to the internet at your desk if you are in a desk job
- go to the local sports bar in your lunch break
- read every edition of the daily papers
- get a portable personal TV
- take recordings of any sporting events you have missed and watch them on your public transport journey home on your portable DVD player