Bruce Springsteen, Thunder Road and Personal Growth

This song speaks volumes to me.

It particularly appeals because it addresses my awareness of human imperfection, of making mistakes, failing but still realising there are options open to me and they are within my control.

No-one is perfect and as we go through life we get knocked back and can lose confidence in our abilities and in ourselves. Yet, there is always hope. As humans we adapt and survive. It is down to each of us to take that action, to focus on where we want to go and to get on and take those steps of our own accord.

We cannot do it alone though. We need each other, and we need to work together, giving and taking in our relationships, forgiving ourselves and each other when we cause hurt. Understanding that the pain is often our own internal pain and learning from it.

This song is about being human and alive. This song is about you and me.

"So you're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore...you ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright"

As you get older and life knocks you back when yet again you fail to get that promotion or your relationship breaksdown then you may feel more vunerable. The emotional baggage builds up. You start to doubt your ability to do things. Your confidence drops. You feel as if life has passed you by.

The passion and dreams you had when you were younger are just as valid today as then, however you need to tailor them in the light of what you now know. Adapt and adjust, make a fresh start "tonight we'll be free all the promises'll be broken".

Learning to accept that life is full of ups and downs and you are always learning and fine tuning your abilities will help to boost your confidence back up. Rome wasn't built in a day, so be prepared to keep trying hard to become good at what you are doing. Life is a journey, each day provides us with "one last chance to make it real", even if "it's late we can make it if we run", so don't let your age hold you back. When is the time to stop trying? When you stop breathing, that's when!

If the repeated mistakes are emotionally based then consider looking at why this is. Are you being self destructive? Is it perhaps because you have low self worth, possibly focussed on one aspect of yourself?

It is time to start believing in yourself. Start by being a good friend to yourself, banish the negative self thoughts and start being kind and gentle in your self talk. Even if you know you have done bad things forgive yourself. If others have hurt you, forgive them (you don't have to forgive their actions). You are as good as anyone else, you deserve to be loved and to be happy.

Have a little faith in yourself and others. No matter what has happened in the past let it go, move on, live for today and enjoy life.

"You can hide 'neath your covers and study your pain...waste your summer praying in vain...hey what else can we do now except roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair...these two lanes will take us anywhere"

Life is full of opportunity and choice. Every day you are faced with countless choices. Some you make automatically, such as the order to put your clothes on in the morning, others take time, such as shall we move house?

There is no point in focussing inwardly by "hiding 'neath your covers" on where life has treated you badly, using this as an excuse to punish yourself to "make crosses" for yourself or to wait for "a saviour to rise from these streets", to sort your life out for you.The only way you will see opportunity is to look out for it, and when it comes, seize it and run with it.

How can you increase your chance of finding good opportunity? Get out there and talk to people, listen to what people are saying, what they are looking for. Look to work with people, for people. "Roll down your windows" and be open to what comes your way.

Take action "if you're ready to take that long walk", even if there is a potential cost involved, such as giving something of yourself - "the door's open but the ride it ain't free" and run with it before "they're gone on the wind".

"I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk". Once you have the opportunity be prepared to do something with it. Work at it, persevere and your efforts will be paid off with results.

Stay focussed on your goals, "sit tight, take hold" and live.

"I just can't face myself alone again...the door is open but the ride it ain't free"

You were born dependent on your parents. As you grew you developed independence and this was encouraged.

As an adult independence is important, being able to care for ourselves and our own children once our parents are no longer able, is what enables the human race to continue and thrive. However as you mature emotionally, a new aspect, known as interdependence becomes part of our consciousness.

Interdependence is about mutual dependence. No-one lives in isolation and no-one can do everything for themselves. If you struggle to trust others to help you, or fail to see what they can offer you, it is possible you have not developed this awareness.

Although you may think that once you realise you are part of many complex interdependent relationships, you will feel trapped and helpless, the actual opposite is true.

Consider an effective team, whether they are a group of sports people or within your working environment. When everyone respects everyone else's contribution and accepts where the weaknesses lie, the team functions well. You see a contribution greater than the sum of the individual's efforts. This is synergy.

Interdependence is empowering as more possibilities are opened up to you. Stronger relationships can be formed as we learn to work together for the benefit or ourselves and our world. We start looking for opportunities not just for ourselves but for those in our 'teams'.

This also has a price. All good relationships work on a basis of give and take. As much as we benefit from interdependence we must contribute and take responsibility for our actions, considering the impact on others and our environment. This is part of being a fully developed human being.

So, are you ready to come on your life journey with me? You don't have to "face [yourself] alone again" but can "take my hand" as another interdependent human being and "climb in" to accept our life journey and "sit tight, take hold" and pull "out of here to win."

Jacky Tustain
Founder and Owner BeCanDo Life Coaching
BeCanDo Life Coaching