Squidoo Love

Squidoo has given me the opportunity to tell the World (well, underwater World) about some of the wonderful places i've been to. I love to travel, love to read about travel, love to hear about travel....but more than anything I love to TALK about travel!

Now here is where the problem lies....

I talk, like Russian miners drink Wodka. I do not shut up, I seem to have some kind of breathing system which allows me to carry on talking when others need to pause for air. This is handy for people like me, as it means we can carry on and finish our sentance before anyone can say hey wait this aint interesting.

Anyhow I digress (see what I mean)......

In the evenings my poor worn out other half gets to hear me rabbit on about these wonderful places I have been, where I thought was the best food, where I believed the best hiking was and so forth. I'm sure she would not mind so much if it was not for the fact that a) she has heard it all before in surround sound, b) I do seem to have the most irritating voice and gesticulating hand gestures and c) She went to all of these places with me in the first place!

Now this may not seem to bad, for me anyhow, but alas everytime I start to reminisce about the hike to Machu Pichu or the food poisoning in Baku I get a stern look, followed by what sounds like a howl from an injured wolf and then I know its coming....

"If you carry on like that, you might as well go and sleep on the settee!"

Five minutes pass and my face is contorted like a constipated Chicken, who has just seen a vision of its own mortality. I cannot take anymore and it slips out.....

"Hey sweetie, do you remember the time I tripped over an umbrella in New York that belonged to the chauffeur of the accountant of Paris Hilton's Dog?"

I start to hear the rumbles of thunder, the flashes of lightning and then it happens! The red eyes of my lovely soul mate giving me dagger looks from the other side of bed! Without a word being said, I gather my book, reading glasses and the spare blanket and saunter down the stairs like a puppy who has lost its master.

So here we are at the whole reason I subjected you to this whole story....

Without Squidoo, I would have no way to release all my pent up Travel talk. Thanks to Squidoo I sleep in my own bed! Thanks to Squidoo I have a marriage and a wife that loves me adequately enough! Thanks to Squidoo my children only have to live in one house! Thanks to Squidoo, lawyers miss out on thousands of pounds of my money, meaning I can spend my hard earned cash on useless gadgets from shops in the High Street!

Bascially this means that by being here, Squidoo is single handedly propping up the British economy!

Now you can't say that about many things!

"When I grow up, I want to be a Tax Clerk Daddy!"

"Son, there is no chance in hell, you are clever enough to do that! You are more likely to bum around for the rest of your life!"

So like many of us I had a dream job that I wanted to do when I became a Big Boy! Ok, mine was not as exciting as a Fireman or Pilot, but it was my dream! Well, I listened to my wise old man and i decided maybe the life of a bum was for me. I mean the prospects aren't that great, but it seemed to suit me fine.

Well I got bored bumming around my boring litle hometown, so I though I know i'll bum around Europe. So off I went, hanging around street corners in obscure European places, until the local gendarmerie told me I was upsetting the normal people.

This went on for some years, going from Country to Country until one by one they banned me. Then I was forced home, tail between my legs to my Father. It was upsetting but finally I gathered the confidence to tell him.

"Dad, I am so sorry! I failed as a bum!"

It was a hard time for me, as I finally realised that my dad wasn't always right. Going to the pub to see all my old mates that same night, a little boy looked at me and said to his mother...

"Look Mummy, a tramp!"

SUCCESS!

I now felt as if I could go on with my life and yes I did become that Tax Clerk.

Now whats that got to do with my love with Squidoo you are all shouting at the screen! Well all of you who have nothing better to do than read my drivel!

Well I always wanted to be a Travel Writer, travelling around these exotic places made me want to share and share and share my experiences. This I know is impossible, as by now you would of realised my writing ability is no where near my penchant for the pen.

With Squidoo, I can write till my heart's content, it doesn't matter that I am not the world greatest writer. I have always been and always will be a mediocre human being. Squidoo does not care about this however, Squidoo is a martyr for the little man! Squidoo is the Martin Luther King of the Internet!

So, what I am saying is....

As well as single handedly propping up the British economy, Squidoo is also a saviour for Human Rights!

God bless you Squidoo!

Without Squidoo, I would be looking my pet dog in the eye every night, not my beautiful wife.

Without Squidoo, I would not have the chance to do what I have always wanted to do. Squidoo gives the chance for normal, average people to write about what they are interested in. No degrees, no experience....just a little time to learn the ropes.

Which leads me on to the next point!

The Squidoo community deserves as much love as Squidoo itself. So helpful, so funny and a real joy to be a part of, even if it has only been a short while for me.

I know I wont get anything from writing this spiel, but all I wanted to do was say THANK YOU!

Special mentions go to all at Squidoo HQ, N376 and Lewis Smile. All of these people have helped me on my way, even if they never realised it. So go on....start to squidoo, or carry on squidooing!

Ps. Saves on magazine subscriptions too!