Squidoo's Greatest Failure

I have not just bombed here on Squidoo, I have also bombed on HubPages (check out my Old Time Radio Programs hub if you want to mock a failure) and on Triond. A full set.

Considering I started all this writing online with the intention of avoiding starving to death and all I have so far earned is about $3, a rethink is rapidly becoming in order. Surely Squidoo profits can't be that hard too earn, I mean, everyone else seems to make it look easy and declares "Hey, I'm making a $1,000 a month". Don't you just hate those people? Oh, that's just me as well is it? Well look, I can't help it. I'm not just a failure, I'm a spiteful failure. Damn it! If I'm going down I want to see others fail as well. There is nothing us spiteful failures hate more than someone else's success.

He some how found out about my success as a failure and seemed quite annoyed with me. He said "No one DOESN'T make money on Squidoo! We have people who have had lobotomies who are doing a million dollars a day. Everyone makes money on Squidoo."

"I don't," I said. There was silence. Well, apart from the grinding of teeth, or it could have been a revolver cocking. It was kind of hard to tell as Megan Casey had sneaked up behind me with a laptop power lead and was trying to strangle me.

Fortunately she tripped over Seth as he lunged at me and I managed to get away. I tell you those two are scary, a serious case for anger management classes. I suppose I shouldn't say that really as Seth has obviously forgiven me. He sent me an email the other day offering me a job. You know, for a guy who's written all those books his grammar is terrible. You've never seen sentence construction like it. He said he had "a contract out on me", I ask you. He meant he was offering me a contract, but he didn't specify what it was. Still, a job's a job- Sorry I've got to go there is someone knocking on the door.