In praise of cats... probably!
Let's be honest, you could make a zillion lenses about cats... so you might say that this one is just going to scratch the surface.
If you're not particularly feline friendly, you may think of a cat as being just Claws And Teeth. But, even if you're not especially fond of them (and why wouldn't you be?), I hope you'll come to agree that they can be fascinating to watch... once they decide to get off their lazy butts and actually do something!
This lens is a light-hearted look at the domestic pussycat. Here, you will find photos, captions, jokes, videos, news stories... and a silly poem or two by some obscure furry Englishman.
It's a FascinatingLoveHatingSentimental GentleMentalFurryPurryFriendship
Cats are soft and furry, but
they leave hairs on the sofa.
Cats are playful, but
they dig their claws into you.
Cats are elegant, but
they kill birds.
Cats are confusing.
Copyright: Mike Jubb. Please feel free to copy this poem for personal use only.
You don't wanna know what I'm thinking!
Didn't your Mum tell you it's rude to stare?
But cats! Cats raise the art of staring to a level beyond human understanding and endurance. Are they looking through you? Are they looking deep into you. Do they give a... ?
I have been known to cheat. I admit it. Whilst fixing my gaze on some malicious moggy that is clearly considering leaving me a present on my freshly weeded flowerbed, I narrow my eyes, pull a face... stick my tongue out. Nothing. Not a flicking whisker. Not even the smallest hint that the fixated feline actually acknowledges my existence on Earth. So what do I do? I clap my hands, stamp my foot, and tell it to... go forth.
Yes, it blinks. Yes, it goes forth... to the bottom of the garden at most. Then it stops, turns, and with a look that is part distain, part pity: "Call that a victory, you pathetic little man? All you've done is show your weakness. You're no match for me." It's right. I'm not.
Actually, cats are always right.
Cat Quote
I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. Bill Dana
Playing with Words
I'll get my own way. I always do.
Which is your favourite caption?
Staring Cat
Your chance to vote for one of these captions, or come up with something better.
Did you hear...
...about the cat who
drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
A Great Meeoosical
Cat Quote
I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. Edgar Allan Poe
Andrew Lloyd Webber's inspiration
Moggy Madness
Classic Cat Clips... laughter guaranteed
Here are just 10 reasons
Vote for your favourite
Sadly guys, this is only a small selection. But before you accuse me of being a traitor to my sex, can I just point out that you can vote on my 'Reasons why cats are better than women' plexo below.
Reasons why cats are better than women
Never mind... Top Cat can cheer you up
Cat's Duet
A little gem by Rossini
Cat Duet by Rossini - Karen Callan & Gail Wilder
Duetto buffo di due gatti (Cat Duet) by Rossini - Sopranos Karen Callan and Gail Wilder with pianist Dorothy Peterson
Runtime: 5:34
6042 views
10 Comments:
The best recorded version of the Cats' Duet
by Victoria de los Angeles and Elizabeth Schwarzkopf
Cat's Duet... animated
Rossini's "Cats Duet" (animation)
This duet is called "Duetto Buffo di due Gatti" in Italian, and was probably (but not 100% certain) written by Rossini. It is a comic duet for two cats who seem not to be getting on too well together. This is an animation using CrazyTalk5. I programmed the vocal track using Vocaloid Lola. The musical arrangement is in a pop style using piano, bass guitar, rhythm guitar and drums.
Runtime: 2:56
2747 views
7 Comments:
Did you hear...
...about the new
breakfast cereal for cats?
It's called Mice Crispies.
Cool Cat
by Mike Jubb
And I'm in my prime
I'm Casanova Cat
And I'm feline fine
I'm strollin' down the street
In my white slipper feet
Yeh, all the little lady cats
Are lookin' for a treat
Because I got style
I got a naughty smile
I'm gonna cross this street
In just a little while
to be with you
to be with you
to be with you
to be with
You got grace
You got a lickable face
I'm gonna love ya and leave ya
And you'll never find a trace
Because I'm on my own
I like to be alone
I'm just a swingin', strollin',
Rollin' stone
But it's your lucky day
I'm gonna pass your way
I can spare a little lovin'
If you wanna stop and
play with me
play with me
play with me
play with
Meeeeow my!
I got a twinklin' eye
I'm gonna cross this street
So don't you be too shy
But what's this I see
Comin' straight at me
It's a crazy car driver
Tryin' to make me flee
So I look up slow
Just to let the man know
That I don't go any faster
Than I really wanna...
X!X!X!X!X!X!X!X!X!X!X!
Well I'm a cat with eight
I guess he couldn't wait
But I'm lookin' good
And I'm feline great!
Copyright: Mike Jubb. Please feel free to copy this poem for personal use only.
The Ghost of my Pussycat's Bottom
'Mike Jubb is one of the best poets writing for children today.'
The Ghost of my Pussycat's Bottom
Amazon Price: $9.99 (as of 10/07/2008)
I create Greeting Cards too
Where better to combine my love of Words and Pictures than on a fun card?
Like this one.
Happy Fourth of July!
Buy this image as a quality 7"x5" Greeting Card
- SunflowerCards
- At GreetingCardsUniverse.com you can choose from thousands of cards on almost any conceivable subject. If you can't find one to suit, you can request one to be created for you at no extra charge.
You can have any card blank, you can add your own verse or sentiment, or you can ask for one to be specially written for you. You don't get that kind of service from a card shop!
Personalized Greeting Cards
Why buy a pre-printed card? Show how much you really care... visit my online store, and I'll write something especially for you. It's included in the price!
I stare... therefore I am.
Camilla Caterpillar
by Mike Jubb
Camilla Caterpillar kept a caterpillar killer-cat,
A caterpillar killer categorically she kept;
But alas the caterpillar killer-cat attacked Camilla,
As Camilla Caterpillar catastrophically slept.
Copyright: Mike Jubb. Please feel free to copy this poem for personal use only.
Kitty Christmas Cards
... and they're so cute!
Did you hear...
...about the cat who
swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
Feline wit and wisdom
Every dog has his day
but nights are reserved for the cats
by Mike Jubb
On soft, silent, padded paws,
all cats are grey in the night;
this is their time.
A shadow walking in shadows,
Prometheus is on the prowl.
Other toms keep their distance,
and a fox crosses the road
to avoid him;
but the mouse saw nothing,
heard nothing,
knew nothing.
On wings without a whisper,
old Tawny perches
on the chimney pot
in time to see the cat
snatch his prey.
Their eyes meet,
the owl and the pussycat,
the staring match of all time.
Prometheus looks away first.
After all,
he has the mouse.
Copyright: Mike Jubb. Please feel free to copy this poem for personal use only.
By the way, people who hate cats return as mice in their next life.
Wanna see another Captions lens?
- Click here to see this one!
- What a dog's nose knows
Getting to know you!
Talk to the Paw!
Palindromic Cat
by Mike Jubb
WAS IT A CAT I SAW?
Was it a cat I saw
Creeping behind the door?
Can you say this backwards?
wasitacatisaw
Copyright: Mike Jubb. Please feel free to copy this poem for personal use only.
Drink to your cat!
As you dropped by... why not say Hi
If you loved, or hated, anything in this lens... here's your chance. Thanks.
|
Tipi
I like dogs! Cats are ok as long as they don't live with me. I have no pets at the present, but enjoy your work, poems, humor. 5 more *'s Posted September 04, 2008 |
|
tdove
Thanks for joining G Rated Lense Factory! Posted July 28, 2008 |
|
lifelongfitness
heh pretty cool lens. I like the polaroid pictures with captions :) 5* Posted July 10, 2008 |
|
KadabaCo
Meowy Cool Lens! Your kitty is very witty! 5*'s! Posted July 10, 2008 |
Cat Collection
Amazon Error: Could not open remote connection
Sorry, there are no results available from Amazon.Cat Quote
The dog may be wonderful prose, but only the cat is poetry. French Proverb
More Moggy Movies
Cats & Dogs (Full Screen Edition)
Amazon Price: (as of 10/07/2008)
Dr. Seuss' The Cat In The Hat (Full Screen Edition)
Amazon Price: $10.49 (as of 10/07/2008)
Fritz the Cat
Amazon Price: $10.99 (as of 10/07/2008)
The Truth About Cats & Dogs
Amazon Price: $9.98 (as of 10/07/2008)
Cats Don't Dance
Amazon Price: $9.49 (as of 10/07/2008)
Cat Quote
What greater gift than the love of a cat? Charles Dickens
