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Stay-at-home Parenting

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I wonder how much you really know me...

I've been in contact with a lot of people throughout my life; I've had numerous conversations, too.

Of course, I've posted many articles and poems throughout the years which have generated lots of interested readers.

However, at the end of the day, how well do you retain the knowledge I've shared with you? How well do you really know me?

I hope you are interested enough to take my quiz so you can find out...

Contents at a Glance

Benefits of staying home with your children


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  • Seeing your baby do things for the first time. It's such a rewarding experience which many working parents miss.

  • Being home to greet your children when they arrive home from school, drama rehearsal, a play date, and so on. Seeing their excitement and hearing the enthusiasm in their voices while emotions are still fresh can't be duplicated.

  • Having time to listen to, and spend time with, your children without continually watching the clock so you won't be late for work.

  • Going out for spontaneous outings when your children have the day off from school, as opposed to being stuck at work for most of the day.

  • Looking after your children when they are sick, as opposed to feeling guilty when having to work, knowing they are with a sitter. Regardless of how great a sitter is, parents always prefer to, personally, tend to their children when they are not feeling well.


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  • Arranging play dates is a possibility. Your children get to know children of your friends and, when they get along well together, there is much potential for fun and laughter, as well as growth. In addition, you get to socialize with your friends.

  • Having meals at normal times is an added bonus. Your family doesn't need to wait until 7:00 p.m. to eat dinner because you can eat at 5:00 p.m. It gives everyone a chance to relax and unwind after dinner.

  • Schedules are set to benefit your family instead of your workplace. There's no such thing as turning your child down for a play date because you have to work. Your work is looking after your family and, as such, you do your best to keep your family members happy.

  • As long as children are not required to be in school, vacations can take place any time. Vacation time doesn't need to be granted from an outside employer. Your family is free to choose.

  • You get to know each other better as you spend more time together. You also appreciate each other more. Parents working outside of the home endure a lot of stress on any given day and, with the added responsibilities at home, family members often see each other at their worst moments. Staying home with your children yields lots of hugs and smiles as opposed to anxiety attacks.


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Taking life for granted

Little need for childcare facilities


Stay-at-home parents raising children is something I have, somewhat, taken for granted over the years. I have three children and, with the first two, they were home primarily with their grandmother or their father, each of who worked part-time jobs, often during days of the week when I didn't have to work. Thus, when I was off, I was able to spend time with my daughters. There was little need for childcare facilities and it was something that was just a normal part of life for me.

However, my marriage dissolved through forces beyond my control which brought a single-parenting situation into my home. Gone were the days of being able to count on a spouse to look after my children but, thankfully, by that time, they were both attending school full-time.

Totally drained

When will it end?


Nonetheless, I continued to work. After all, with no financial support from my ex, someone had to feed and clothe the girls, pay utility bills, the mortgage, provide for other daily needs, and so on.

I wished with all my heart that I could have been home when the girls arrived home from school every day at 3:30 p.m. but it wasn't to be. In most cases, my employer wouldn't allow me to leave work until three to four hours later. By the time I arrived home, I was exhausted but I tried to put my best foot forward for the sake of my girls.

I knew in the few years that I had been single-parenting that I was exhausted; that my girls could have been better behaved in some areas. I knew my workload was too much for them to take but, at the same time, who was going to pay the bills and look after us if I quit my job? How would we ever go on the vacations they had come to enjoy should everything change overnight?

My employer didn't see any reason why I should be granted special benefits, despite being the only single parent amongst our management team, so I was stuck.


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Time passes

Life changes


Advance the calendar a few years. I started seeing another guy. The more time we spent together with the girls, the more my girls adored him, even more than they had their father. We've remained together and have welcomed a new addition to the family, a son.

Parental leave

Present blessings - future dread


For the time being, I am on parental leave but, in the near future, I will have to return to the work force full-time, working hours equal to, or beyond, what was required of me at the time I went on maternity leave. My son's dad works full-time, as well, and my parents have relocated.

For the first time, I'm struggling with the issue of not having a parent staying home to look after one of my children while the other works, and it is a difficult situation for me to deal with.

Improved sibling relationships

appreciation at last


I've noticed a major change in my daughters since I've been staying home with them these past several months. They are calmer and easier to get along with. Their speaking tones are different. They are still loud when they get excited but, generally, they aren't trying to outdo each other in demanding my attention because they know they have it.

Hanging out at home

Feeling at peace with the world


Also, my oldest daughter who was trying to buck the rules and get away with doing her own thing isn't the same person anymore. She's mellowed out and we laugh a lot and even write together, at times. We watch movies, hang out, and enjoy being with each other, and she's great at helping out with her little brother.

Enjoying my family

Enjoying time to relax


My youngest daughter is more comfortable, as well. She spends time with her friends but spends time at home, enjoying hanging out with the family. However, she has a tendency to monopolize the family channels on television, to be sure, unless she decides reading or a computer game is more exciting.

Growing in leaps and bounds

Enjoying lots of attention


As for our little guy, he's a happy, bouncing baby boy who can't do things fast enough to please himself. He is only 9 ½ months old and is beginning to talk already, in two word sentences, sometimes. He is thriving being surrounded by a loving family and gives much love in return.

Internal longings

If wishes paid money


Knowing first-hand how it is to be a stay-at-home mom and seeing the wonderful results I've witnessed in my daughters, especially the oldest one, I dread for the day to come when I must report to work. Right now, I would rather quit and never take a vacation again, if it meant I could raise my children and continue to see them thrive. However, at this point, it isn't possible.

Children, regardless of their ages, need someone they can depend upon to be available for them at any time of the day, or night. They need boundaries which are enforced but, at the same time, they need to learn to spread their wings in a safe environment.

What safer environment does a child have than one in which a parent truly loves and nurtures them?

The debate continues: to stay home with the children or go to work???

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Important!

*******July 17, 2008*******

My time of being a stay-at-home Mom has come to an unfortunate end. As I write, I've been back at work and will finish my first week tomorrow.

I look forward to the week-end so I can hang out with my family again - when I won't feel as tired as I have been throughout this past week.

While it's nice to make contact with people more than I have over the past year, my family and I are going through an adjustment period - but I'm happy to report that, thus far, things are going well.

August 12, 2008

I've been back at work for just over four weeks now and my family has, for the most part, adjusted.

My youngest daughter has gone back to school (grade 4) while my oldest daughter - who will be starting grade 9 in less than two weeks - is babysitting Miles, who will turn 1 in a couple of weeks.

The real test is just around the corner - when Kelsey has to attend school and Miles is left with a sitter. Why do I feel the worst is yet to come, or will everything work out better than I imagine?

The Worst Came

Just as I predicted

To put a book length manuscript in as few words as possible:

We went through babysitters, one after another, until the number reached 12. We even tried the daycare route but that didn't work very well either since Miles ended up getting sick every time he attended.

Through the later part of 2009, my daughter missed more school than was acceptable; however, she managed to struggle through and go on to the next grade.

However, 2009 - 2010 is bringing worse circumstances than imaginable - from temporary health issues to polar bears roaming around the community, to erratic bedtime schedules and beyond, I'm anxiously anticipating the day when Miles is old enough to go to school so childcare concerns will be a thing of the past.

However, there is a bright side in all of this: Miles fills our hearts and home with laughter and love, drawing us together in ways we never dreamed.

Your comments, please!

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  • Reply
    thestacklife Apr 14, 2011 @ 10:55 am | delete
    Ironic that I just mentioned this today on my facebook. I worked full time with our first one while my wife stayed home - I can tell you first hand i broke my heart when I got all the pictures of "all the firsts" and I couldn't be there to witness and be a part of that. I will also say that couples relationships are strained when one works and the other is home - it's not a sustaining situation or health one. After 2 years we both decided that we were going to do everything to bring me home too because we wanted another baby - we researched for months and found an online franchise - partnered with it while I still worked my job and by Nov. 07 (birth of my 2nd son) I was able to tell my job I wasn't returning! It was an amazing feeling and since then, my wife and I work part time from anywhere we want to - raise our two beautiful kids together and enjoy our time together as a couple again! It's worth fighting to get home...and now a days you better find more ways to make money than just your job
  • Reply
    ShirlW Oct 26, 2009 @ 9:47 am | delete
    I was a single mom for nine years, juggling a demanding career, a tedious commute and a struggling son. It was endlessly exhausting. Now I am blessed with the gift of staying home. My son is happier and a better student and my two daughters I was bless with are enjoying a stay at home parent also. Wouldn't trade it for the world.
  • Reply
    lisakleinweber Mar 12, 2009 @ 2:50 am | delete
    I homeschool / unschool my son, made possible because I have an internet marketing business so I don't have to work - and yes, it's awesome.
  • Reply
    Kelsey-Budden-16 Nov 24, 2008 @ 7:45 pm | delete
    Parents staying home with you can be annoying but fun. Annoying when they are mad, but awesome when they wanna chill and watch a movie or something. :P
  • Reply
    ParentCoachGTD Sep 17, 2008 @ 10:14 pm | delete
    You can never get that time back that is missed. Staying home with kids can be priceless. I was lucky to be home with my daughter for her first three years during the day, and went to grad school at night. Wouldn't trade i.t
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Norma_Budden

I am a person who has great zest for life, regardless of the overwhelming odds a day may present.
I'm a busy mother of three children who ends up spending... more »

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