Steps to a Positive Mental Attitude - thinking positively

Most of us start out thinking negatively from the moment we awaken. When the cat makes a mess and causes us extra work or the kettle develops a leak or there's a hole in a clean sock and we haven't time to mend it - life suddenly appears to have taken a capricious turn. It is easy to continue in that frame of mind, but it will do nothing for your work aspirations, the respect of your colleagues and the relationship with family and friends. A pessimistic person is not fun to be with!

Human brains are wired to react to negative information. Overgeneralizing, viewing concepts as black-or-white, jumping to conclusions or confirming incorrect conclusions with poorly understood 'facts,' we are predisposed to cling to those facts with excessive confidence, never thinking to check their validity. Enough of these errors in thinking and we become depressed or anxious.

This tendency to evaluate the world and those in it through these false concepts, belief systems and idealised views can also turn into self-fulfilling prophesies.

A salesman fails at three sales in succession and self-doubt creeps in. He loses confidence and puts less effort into the next sale, perhaps to the extent that the next customer sees him as disinterested.

Golfers shoot over par and immediately conclude there is something wrong with their swing, stance or grip, and start to analyse it, focussing too much on the 'fault' and losing their natural flow.

One of the characteristics of humans is to pore over events and take the blame for them. Recalling and reliving past experiences and problems, cross-referencing them under 'faults', analyzing them, and generally persuading yourself that you feel a certain way about things will do more harm than good because you are reinforcing those feelings instead of consigning them to the past. To leave a past problem in the past, do not focus on it. Focus instead on what you learned from it, and how far you have come since; it was a stepping-stone to who you are NOW.

Focus on the future not the past. Focus on where you want to be and what you want to do. Bring the full force of your imagination to create an image of your desired future, and then take steps to bring it into being.

Focus on the solution not the problem. Do not waste time and effort wishing the problem were different or happened to somebody else, or that perhaps you deserved it as a punishment for some unknown infraction; find a suitable solution and move on.

Assume that you are exactly where you need to be at this time and in exactly the right place to learn the next lesson. Providence has sent you this valuable lesson so that you can grow into a better, more resourceful person. Remember, what does not defeat us, makes us stronger.

When the worst happens, remember the old adage, "This too shall pass".

1. Always use positive words in speech and writing. Regular use of the phrase "I can't" may convince your mind that it's true. Instead, try telling yourself that you will do your best.

2. Push away negative feelings. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the bad things in life and in the news. Everything negative should be balanced by the positive - look for it!

3. Believe you will succeed. There is nothing like believing in yourself to create a successful reality. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and believe that you will succeed at fulfilling your goals.

4. Take the credit for your deeds. Be proud of your accomplishments - list them if you need to and don't worry too much about the failures. Give yourself the break you'd give others for their mistakes.

5. Learn from the past. See where you went wrong and avoid repeating the mistake, but don't beat yourself up over it. Move on.

6. Be grateful for the things that do go well. Even when the bad appears to outway the good, there will be areas of your life which are still successful. List them!

7. Avoid negative people where possible. Don't let them drag you into their way of thinking. Try to stay with people who are upbeat.

8. Listen to positive and upbeat music. Make CDs of upbeat songs and listen to them whenever you need feel in a negative mood. Good music can lift and change a negative mood into a positive one.