Stonehinged - Internet Rock Band

Music/Guitars -Billy Playle
Bass- Andy Gupta
Keys/SFX - Jay Schankman
Mad Nurse/ Casia
Lyrics/Vocal/Drums/SFX/Production - Ian Burrage

Stream: DESMOND THE DENTIST

Intro: 'Ello Dear, come to get your teeth fixed 'ave we.
Dr. Desmond will be right on you. Hold still luv this
won't hurt a bit...

V1
As he scrapes and as he pokes
He makes you cough and splutter
With his knee upon your chest
he tells you dentist jokes yeah

He will ask for your life story
And when you try to answer
That's the part he likes the best
Coz he's doing something gory

Are you sitting comfortably?
Has your mouth gone numb?
It's then I start to worry
And I wonder what he's done
Are you sitting comfortably?
Now please try to relax
I'd rather face a mad man
With an over active axe

Ch
Oh I live in terror of Desmond the dentist
Handles an extraction with a fixture of a grin
I live in terror of Desmond the dentist
Drives home the needle and the room begins to spin

SPIN.spin.SPIN.spin...SPIN.spin.SPIN.spin...SPIN.spin.SPIN.spin

V2
As he turns on the drill
From behind you comes a cackle
You know you promised to be still
I'll have to call the nurse

You may think that you're in a dream
If only you could wake up
But then he slips and makes you scream
It's gonna get much worse

Are you sitting comfortably?
This isn't going to hurt
But I remember last time
And the blood all down my shirt
Are you sitting comfortably?
My what a lot of teeth
Its then he starts to dig around
To see what's underneath

Ch
Oh I live in terror of Desmond the dentist
Handles an extraction with a fixture of a grin
I live in terror of Desmond the dentist
Drives home the needle and the room begins to spin

SPIN.spin.SPIN.spin...SPIN.spin.SPIN.spin...SPIN.spin.SPIN.spin

Outro: No fine young British gentlemen were harmed
during the recording of this segment

Ian Burrage: composition, drums, vocals, mix, lyrics (man-noises), tea boy
Billy Playle: composition, lead guitar, vocals, mix (man-noises)
Andy Gupta: composition, bass, lyrics
Jay Schankman: keys
Casia: lyrics and poetry, backwards talk, promoter