Stop A Divorce

Can you stop a divorce without the assistance of your spouse? Your gut reaction might be "no", but it is actually possible to save a marriage when only one partner is interested in taking action.

I know, I know... It sounds impossible. Conventional wisdom says you need both parties to effectuate significant change in a relationship.

Before you buy into that conventional wisdom, please consider one startling fact: Conventional methods don't often work.

Did you know, for instance, that marriage counseling (a situation in which both spouses ARE involved) only works to save a marriage about 20% of the time.

If you want to stop divorce, it's probably time to give up on that conventional so-called wisdom. Maybe we can look at a different perspective--one that may break the mold, but that also actually works!

Dr. Lee Baucom, author of the hit SAVE THE MARRIAGE, says that he looks at marriages like the equations we used to wrestle with back in high school algebra. If you change the value on one side of the equation, the value of the other side will automatically and inevitably change, too.

Baucom persuasively argues that looking at marriages this way works. If one person makes the right changes, it will have an overall impact that includes real change. Dr. Baucom notes that his approach has a startling rate of success--it's worked for over 90% of his clients!

That's right--for OVER 90% of them.

Think about what that might mean as you work to stop a divorce. What if your actions could start a chain of events that would allow you to improve and rebuild your very special relationship instead of watching it die by a judge's decree in a divorce court?

Wouldn't that be worth the effort?

Now, I think it's a little far-fetched to claim that anyone can completely salvage a troubled marriage singlehandedly. However, it is obvious that one person can start the process--and that individual action can create a sea change that ends in love and mutual support instead of divorce.

Can you save a marriage alone? In essence, the answer is "yes". Doesn't that make it sound like a good idea to do your best to stop divorce?

It doesn't matter how miserable things are in your marriage--if you have the desire to do so you can stop a divorce. That might sound crazy, but professionals have found ways to preserve (and improve) even the most troubled marriages. Don't give up if you aren't fully convinced in your heart that you want a divorce!

Before we discuss how you can save your marriage from divorce, let's get one caveat out of the way. Some marriages probably should end in divorce. If you're in an abusive or dangerous situation, for instance, you may not want to maintain the relationship. That being said, many unnecessary and emotionally unhealthy divorces occur every day.

There are basically three keys to saving the marriage. First, you need to understand that even though a marriage can fall apart for any number of reasons, there is one core path that all salvaged relationships must follow. Sure, they go through the process in their own way, but success always travels the same trail.

Second, you should recognize that it isn't necessarily critical for both partners to commit themselves to saving the marriage. It is proven that many relationships can be saved with only one spouse initiating action. I know that may fly in the face of conventional wisdom, but experience clearly shows that one well-intended person can preserve and improve a marriage.

Finally, realize that nothing good will happen if you don't actually do something. The one trait every single saved marriage as in common is action. Without it, divorce. With it, a stronger, healthier and loving relationship. The third key to stop a divorce is, like the ad says, to "just do it". Don't wait, take action if you want to keep your marriage intact.

Your relationship is not doomed. Even if you're the only one interested in making things work, you can save your marriage.

By following a smart, professional and proven plan designed to effectively stop divorce, you can make your marriage stronger and better than it has ever been!

If you're marriage is in trouble, you're undoubtedly having a very difficult time. You're probably experiencing a combination of intense and exhausting emotions.
There's the disgust. The anger. The frustration. The fear. The guilt. The worry. It can be overwhelming. How did something that was supposed to be so perfect turn into such a mess? The second-guessing can become a full-time job.

When you're weighed down by all of those concerns, it can be almost impossible to do anything. Somewhere along the line, though, you did do something.

You made a decision.

You decided to stop a divorce and to save your marriage. I know that because you're reading this lens. If you weren't interested in saving the marriage, you wouldn't be here right now.

Congratulations. You made a difficult, important, honorable, decent and smart decision. You somehow saw through all of the chaos and recognized that your marriage is worth saving.

Now, it's time for the next step. Don't worry. It may sound difficult to keep moving forward, but now that the first step is behind you, things may get easier. It's always easier to make a journey when you've decided upon a destination. It's easier to implement a plan when you have a goal.

And that's where we are now--in need of a plan. You're ready for action, but you need to know what action to take.

Every marriage is different. Every person is different. Nonetheless, most flawed relationships have things in common. Almost all of them move through a similar pattern when they're saved.

Get a plan. Take advantage of your decision and move forward with your marriage. Don't hesitate. Don't let the moment pass.

There are a million and one different programs, books, ideas, recommendations and strategies to help you to stop divorce. Some of them are good, others aren't. Use your best judgment and choose an approach based on the work of a professional whose experience and training can shed some real light on how to stop a divorce.

I personally recommend the work of Dr. Lee Baucom and believe that you should consider the strategy he advocates in his popular "Save The Marriage" program.