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StopFeedingthePredators

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Think About It - Useless Laws

It seems to me that parents and those in the political world, parents or not, think that as long as everyone knows where the registered and known sexual predators are living, the children will be safer from them. That is an idea that is so naive even children can see the problem with it. "But Mommy, what about the sexual predators we don't know?" "Daddy, has everyone who commits sexual crimes against children been caught and registered?"

You may have signed a petition saying you support enforcement of restrictions about where known sexual predators can live. They can't live too close to schools, or parks, or libraries. Makes you feel safer, when you know they can't live across the street from your child's daycare center, right?

What about the pedophiles who haven't been caught? What about the upright business man or woman, the clergy, the doctor, the daycare provider's teenage son? How do you protect your children from the unknown sexual predators? You teach them to respect that instinct that they have to avoid people that make them feel uncomfortable.

Pushy, Well-Meaning Parents

You stop pushing them to "give Aunt Whoever a hug". Stop forcing your child to have physical contact with people they do not know well. There is a reason the child is uncomfortable being in close physical contact with someone they do not know well. The reason is instinct. Until the child knows someone well enough to give that hug, they should not be told to go against their own instinct.

If the child does not feel that they should give Grandpa a kiss, then they should not be forced to do it. (This doesn't signal that Grandpa ever did anything to harm the child.) Physical affection from a child should be something they want to do naturally. Giving Grandpa a kiss goodbye should be something they observe others doing and they feel comfortable doing it, too. Instead, tell your child, "We're leaving now. Tell Grandpa goodbye." Let the child decide if that is with a hug, a kiss, or a wave "bye-bye".

Strangers

The Clause

Whatever else you do, please stop putting your child on the lap of a total stranger and saying, "Tell him what you want." This goes for the Bunny and any other picturesque moments. Parents, hold your own kid, stand near the Bunny (Santa, or whatever), and be in the moment with your child. (Note to parents: if you are worried about the extra weight you've gained, or having a bad hair day showing up in the picture, get over it. The security your child will have from NOT being handed off to the "little helpers" is a far more important thing than your being unhappy with how you look in the picture.)

Toys That Teach

You let you child play with a ...what?

Toy manufacturers are busy producing items that make it easier for sexual predators to succeed in their crimes. Parents are helping them.

Aren't you the same "concerned" parent that just bought for your little angel, a fuzzy, colorful Boobah? What do you think that toy is teaching your little girl or boy? Is it teaching them to enjoy fuzzy toys that are colorful? Is it teaching them that something shaped like this, kind of fuzzy, and with a head that extends out is a good thing to snuggle? Do you really NOT see the connection between this Boobah character and male genitalia? Really? Does this seem like a good thing to teach a child to cuddle?

Note to Self

I am responsible for teaching my child to trust their own instincts when it comes to strangers.
I will monitor my child's toys, activities, and wardrobe until they are able to appropriately care for themselves.
This responsibility does NOT end when they can dress themselves or are bigger than me.

Are you paying attention?

Girls will be girls...

Think about the dolls little girls are playing with lately. Little girls are learning so much about what it means to be a girl from dolls. They are being taught that being a girl means wearing pretty clothes. Being a girl means styling your hair different ways and painting your nails. Being a girl means that you wear make-up, lots of make-up. You wear make-up when you're a baby, if you're a girl. You have feathered boas, high heels, lipstick and a diaper if you're a girl baby. What do you think children are learning from Bratz Babies? What are you teaching your child about what is appropriate dress for a girl under the age of, oh, I don't know...STREETWALKER!!!??

Trends in fashion

Schools have a great double standard...

The local high schools have rules about what is considered appropriate dress. No low rise jeans showing boxers or thongs, no tank tops, no bare midriffs, and the meaningless list goes on. It is a meaningless list because it is rarely enforced. (Also note that most stores only carry low rise jeans, so kids are left with few options.)

I spoke to one teacher about this issue. He said it is a tough thing. In order for a male teacher to send a girl out of the class for wearing too revealing clothing, it implies that he was looking too much. No male teachers want to be the one to "notice" the scantily clad girls.

As far as the female teachers, the theory seems to be, 'Oh well, I remember what it's like to be a teenager. This is just what kids do these days."

School is supposed to teach our kids (as are we) that there are standards for society. Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton are not qualified to set standards for our kids. Why do the schools allow them to set the dress code?

Let them starve

Now that your eyes are open...how will you help?

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tandemonimom Jan 24, 2009 @ 1:27 pm | delete

Excellent lens, most of this I agree is dead on. Not sure about the Boohbah thing, though ... it's a shape, lots of things are shaped that way. But 5* for sure!

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Pudding_Head Feb 16, 2008 @ 7:08 pm | delete

This is a very valuable and horribly true to life lens. Your title is dead on and a perfect summation of the issue. I agree with the points here and I hope that many more will join the effort to STOP FEEDING THE PREDATORS!