Sum of Memories - a novel by Dave Corby

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Sum of Memories at Lulu

~~~

Sarah now had anger and frustration in her voice. She pointed at the large mirror on the wall.

"You are not my father. Look at yourself! I want my brother back!"

Jonathan just glanced over at first but then caught his image and stopped to stare in shock.
What he saw in his reflection was a young man. Not someone who had been born during the war years; lived his life and retired from work - but a healthy, if rugged, man still in the prime of life. More than that - looking back from the mirror was his own lazy son he had loathed for so long for the wasted education and careless existence.

~~~

How sure are you of who you are?

One of my favourite films is Total Recall. A brilliant idea of giving someone new memories and they just go ahead and live the life of that new person, (until they recall the old one of course).

Or the prequel to The Battlestar Galactica: 'Caprica'. An excellent series where a young girls soul is recreated from every bit of information that she knew and was known about her, and then basically transferred to the body of a robot.

So is that all it takes? Are we just the sum of a set of memories?

In fact, of course we all know instinctively that even with new memories we are still 'us'. I would still be 'me'. So there must be something else - a central program or 'life essence' that separates me from you.

It is this life essence that is the basis of religions; thoughts of the after-life and hopes for eternal life.

Can it exist outside the body? Could it be transferred to another body?

Whether religious or not, I feel pretty safe in suggesting that we all know that 'we' are not our bodies.

If I lose an arm I am still 'me'. If I lose both arms and both legs I am still 'me'. So where do I have to stop? At the brain? But is not that just a blob of cells. It is not me, is it?

The story 'Sum of Memories' is a fictional story that investigates the different concepts of what makes me, me. It starts with the idea that an old man wakes up one day in a young body.

In the first part of the story he attempts to live as himself in this new body. So here we have someone with memories of a life going back to the Second World War trying to live his old life in a young body. Of course no one will actually believe that this is the case. They recognise the physical body of someone else and will not be persuaded that he can possibly be who he says he is.

Although he looks young, in the beginning he acts old. Here we can understand that our memories and our habits of a lifetime of choices and experiences will determine our behaviour. Our 'mindset' determines how we act right down to even how fast we walk and whether or not to attempt anything that may be physically demanding.

In the story he meets two women. One who is in her thirties and one in her sixties.

Being an old man in a young body creates great problems for both cases. The young woman sees the young body and warms to the wisdom and compassion of the older man inside. Of course he feels like she could be his granddaughter.

The old man inside sees the older woman in a different light to other young men. We gain a different outlook when we get older and begin to see the real person rather than the one projected by the physical body. So he sees her as elegant, classy and majestic; rather than notice the wrinkles and sagging body.

Of course however old he thinks he is, society will only measure the relationship by the age of his body.

It is fine for a forty year old man to have a relationship with a thirty five year old woman. It is judged that he can provide equally in the relationship. Of course if they believed he was seventy years old then they may consider him to be just after the sex - and her just after his money.

The older woman in the story is very happy to have the young man as a friend but when his inside old man wants a relationship then it's her turn to consider that he is after her money. Most people would ask why else would a young man go for an older woman.

If, like the man in the story, your life essence is somehow in another body then there are other problems.

You may have had a career in computers but no one will believe your qualifications if it looks as though it happened before you were born! You will also have just as much difficulty attempting to be the person you are now 'possessing'. What qualification did they have? Could you pass yourself off pretending you had the same experience?

So what you know - and being able to prove it - is certainly a large element of who other people think you are. Nowadays, in most countries, it is the law that employers must only take into account the skills and knowledge of potential employees and disregard their race; colour; sex; age; height; weight etc as irrelevant unless it can be proven to be necessary for the job.

So to the world at least, we are what we know. If someone leaves or dies then they just get replaced by someone with equal knowledge.

Sounds kind of sad really.

Another interesting concept is that of being recognised by people who cannot see you. Then your body is almost entirely irrelevant other than perhaps affecting how you sound if the other party can hear your real voice. There are famous occasions of people pretending to be of a different age or sex on the internet for example for criminal purposes.

But less ominous is pretending to be someone else as part of a game or harmless social scene. We can live out a fantasy in a virtual world.

In fact this last example may be the most telling. Whatever your physical characteristics, maybe in these virtual worlds you can actually be the real you! People will only know the words you say and the actions you take. With the anonymity and without the restrictions of the body the 'real you' may be able to fully and truthfully express itself.

The story does not end there though. Imagine you are an old person in a young body, how long do you think you would stay old? For example, supposing you are in a threatening situation. An older person may do everything to escape quietly and avoid a confrontation. This will partially be out of wisdom of the futility of getting involved. But it will also be partially or even wholly be due to the fear of not being able to protect themselves.

Now imagine that exact same person in the same situation but in a younger body. The interaction would likely produce adrenaline and mental comparisons of the relative sizes of the physical bodies. Maybe then, even with the wisdom of age, you may be tempted to get involved in a fight rather than attempt escape.

So I have certainly come to the conclusion that we are more than the sum of our memories. We are undoubtedly characterised by our knowledge and experience, and our behaviour and personality partially determined by our physical attributes.

But deep inside me, way down to almost the unconscious level, I also have a gut feeling that there is something else. If we are just knowledge and muscle and bone then we are robots. I detect a life force inside me that is beyond all of that.