I Survived It! And, I go on . . . But how? Why? Well, I'm Going To School For Graphic Design!     by sfbuzz

Well, no. It was at first in me, then it swirled all around me.

However, I survived it all and I'm still here. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and that's true. It also makes you shake, shiver, cry, scream and shatter.

You have to go on.

If you don't you wind up taking pills, alcohol or if you're very brave or chicken (depending on your viewpoint and upbringing), you simply shoot yourself in the head, slit your wrists and get in the tub with aromatherapy candles to bleed out or just jump off the highest bridge you can find. I am moving on, and I encourage any one else in my situation to do the same.

Killing yourself is easy, scary, but easy. Continuing to live is when it gets really, really hard.

Living is, in my opinion, a lot more interesting.

It goes like this:

• Octoer 16, 2005 - I got breast cancer and obviously survived because I'm making this lens
  
• October 13, 2006 - My godmother got brain and lung cancer and died from Parkinsons
  
• October 6, 2007 - My mom got lung cancer and brain cancer and died.

I have begun to hate October.

Carolyn L. Leach, always ready to help

JOHN F. MORRISON of the Philadelphia Daily News said this about her:

THE REASON Carolyn Lois Leach was in Philadelphia was that the donkey died.

Carolyn was 9 when her family decided that the Macon, Ga., area was too dangerous for "uppity" black people. Her father had dared to step in front of a white woman in a grocery store while trying to buy a box of cornflakes.

It was 1938 and Jim Crow was alive and well in the South.

So, fearing the arrival of the Ku Klux Klan, her parents, Eldridge and Fannie Mae McCrary, and other relatives, threw their worldly possessions into a wagon drawn by a donkey.

Their destination was New York City, but after pulling the heavy burden along the highways and byways to the relative safety of the North, the donkey collapsed and died in Philadelphia. The family decided to stay here.

Philadelphia can be happy that the donkey expired when it did because there wasn't much that Carolyn Lois Leach left undone in her lifelong quest to be of service to others and her community.

Here whole story is here.

You don't need to care about my mom; we care enough even too much for her. But care for your mom; she is who you are.

So, take a moment and say thanks to your mom.

Believe it or not, whether she was a wonderful mom who baked cookies and encouraged your every move, or a lousy mom who drank and caroused and neglected you, who you are today is a result of what she did or didn't do. At least, that's my opinion.

Slowly, agonizingly, I take it day by day. My godmother's death was terrible, and my mom's death was horrible.

I send this lens as a plea to all of those out there who smoke, not because I want to take away your rights. It's your choice, but if you had seen what I have seen, you would probably make a different choice.

If you smoke, PLEASE CHOOSE TO STOP!


Death from Stage IV lung cancer and the brain cancer that usually accompanies it is the most horrendous, horrible, frightening, shattering thing I have ever experienced. It's not often diagnosed early on and many folks think it is your fault because you smoked. If you could see into the future, you might make a different choice.

The procedures were horrendous; everything went wrong with my mom. Simple procedures turned into week long nightmares; she screamed with no medication that could relieve her pain and when she finally died in a hospice, it was a relief for us. At least, we hoped, she went to a better place.

If there is anything I know about surviving this is, if you are a smoker, you are not only killing yourself, but you are killing yourself with an end that is as bad as they come.

I am sure that there are other diseases that have more horrible deaths; however, I can only speak to what I've seen.

It is horrible. Just know that the next time you light up a cigarette. Here's some help to stop if you choose to: