How a Single Mom Survived Marine Corps Boot Camp

Yes . . . I know there's a war going on. But that wasn't my concern when I made my son an offer he realized he couldn't refuse.

My son is basically a GOOD kid, but when he started his junior year in high school and lost his focus on school and playing baseball, everything changed. He changed his friends, his interests, and of course, his attitude changed too. All of that also changed our relationship. When I took him to the recruiter across town at the end of July, 2007, I had no idea what was in store for either of us. But I was desperate; and afterward, confident that whatever lied ahead, would definitely be better than what we'd been living through since he had graduated high school in June, 2006.

I guess I should have felt ashamed -- sending him off like I did. But frankly, I just didn't like him anymore. I didn't like the way he dressed; the people he associated with; the fact that he couldn't seem to find or keep a job; wasn't interested in doing anything productive, like going to college; the way he talked to me and my mother, like we owed him some thing; just his overall attitude. In a word, it SUCKED! All I wanted, what I think any caring parent wants, is to have their child grow up to be a responsible individual. Unfortunately, he wasn't showing any signs of getting there anytime soon.

While he was adamant about not joining any branch of the military, my mom and I had unsuccessfully tried to persuade him to join the Navy or Air Force (personally, I thought the Coast Guard would be safest). NEVER were the Marines on the radar. But when I found out what the Marine Corps had to offer in the way of discipline, I knew it was the one branch of service that he needed. Never mind that they are the "first to fight", they are unarguably, "The Few, The Proud" . . . just the challenge I believe my son needed.

I wasn't missing my son after he left. In fact, I was overjoyed with the idea that someone else was in his face making him do what I knew he didn't want to do. I felt relief that the weight of worry about him was over, at least for the time being. And I wasn't scared every time the news came on reporting yet another teenager who had either done something stupid and criminal, or sadly, had left this world much too early. I thanked God daily that my son was not in this metropolitan area, but instead, sheltered from the evils that seem to plague our youth today.

But as the initial weeks began to go by without seeing him, I began searching online for information that would help me get through the long weeks ahead until graduation. I found a website at the end of July and became an avid lurker. That site was a GODsend to me and countless other people who have a son, daughter, relative, friend or loved one going through Marine Corps Recruit Training at Parris Island or San Diego.

Marine Parents kept me connected to my son. While there are several sections to the website that I frequented almost daily, we all start as Recruit Parents. It's the place where I went whenever I thought of my son, wondered how he was doing, or just wanted to vicariously experience what our children go through as shared by the wonderful people who connect there.

My dad was in the Army for 20 years and I remember there being a pride about that fact. But it doesn't come close to the pride and sense of belonging that I have acquired since my son's enlistment in early September, 2007.

As I read the message boards, an indescribable feeling washed over me, often times bringing tears, but mostly smiles and laughter. And whenever I had something to share or just wanted to reach out, I responded to the messages. In fact, another mother (whose son is also an only child and the same age as my son - now 23) contacted me and we spoke for the first time Thanksgiving, 2007. We found out that our sons were in the same platoon and we were reassured in knowing that our sons became friends as they endured those final weeks of boot camp.

I'm not going to tell you that the months apart were easy because they weren't. Especially for him, I know. But they were necessary for him to grow up and come to better understand what I diligently tried to instill in him. I had been told that the transformation is awesome and the "change forever." I hadn't even seen him when I originally wrote this in December, 2007, but I knew that it would be true. In fact, when I was thinking about seeing him again for the first time on Family Day, January 17, 2008 (4 months to the day he left) it made me realize that I liked him again.

And that's all I ever really wanted when I sent him to PI . . . to be able to LIKE the young man who I love SO dearly.

After my son's Graduation (see his photo and a video filmed by another parent, below), he completed Marine Combat Training in NC, and was promoted to PFC; finished MOS School (Aviation Maintenance Administrative Specialist) in MS; was promoted to LCpl in early November, 2008; and earned his blood stripes (Cpl) in October, 2009 while in Okinawa. He was permanently stationed on the west coast and his enlistment ended in 2011. And while he was in the Marine Corps, he called me often and we actually had conversations like 'normal' people do. :)

During his time away, he was adapting, adjusting and overcoming, but overall, he did well. Occasionally he would want to complain about this or that, but I always pointed out to him that he's lived in 4 states, been overseas, and traveled more than he ever would have had the opportunity to do, had he remained here. And at least was earning a paycheck on the 1st and the 15th, with a place to lay his head, clothes to wear and food to eat.

When I look back over these past 4 years, all I can do is smile daily thinking about God's Grace!

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