How to Write a Sympathy Card

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Send Your Condolences with a Sympathy Card

Sending your sympathy following the death of a loved one or a major loss is still best done by sending a hand-written card, a note or a letter.

It is estimated that Americans send nearly 125 million sympathy cards annually for many different types of losses from death to divorce. Sending a Sympathy Card is a way of telling the person who has lost a loved one that you are thinking about and supporting them during a difficult time.

Let's take a look at how to write a sympathy card.

(If you are interested in How to Write a Condolence Note, or How to Write a Condolence Letter see the related lenses.)

Image Source: © Kirsti A. Dyer. Composite of Modified Microsoft Images.

What is a Sympathy Card? 

A Sympathy Card or note is a way to console or comfort someone who has experienced pain, grief or a misfortune; it may be one of the most meaningful, long-lasting acts of kindness and compassion you can give to a grieving person.

Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, FT

A Sympathy Card is a Gift for a Grieving Heart 

Bereaved people often say that the sympathy cards, condolence notes or sympathy letters from friends and family are some of their most meaningful mementos of a difficult time.

These cards, notes and letters become tangible reminder that can be held and touched, of friends and family who cared about their loved one and about them.

The bereaved person often hold on to Sympathy Cards as treasured mementos. They may re-read the letters of condolence over again days, weeks or years after the loss, whenever they want to feel the support or remember that their loved one was missed by others.

Sympathy Cards and Letters may even be passed down as possessions to other family members.

Image Source:
Composite Modified Image of Isolated Blank Greeting Card by Craig Jewell and Broken Heart by Sarah Williams. Both images Royalty Free Use.

Purpose of a Sympathy Card

1. Offers a tribute to or a remembrance of the deceased.

2. Serves as a source of comfort to the survivors.

3. Becomes a reminder over time of the love and support from friends during a challenging time.

How Do You Send Your Condolences?  

You've just heard that someone you know has lost a loved one and you know that you need to respond.

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Reasons to Send a Sympathy Card 

There are many different beneficial reasons for writing a sympathy card.
  1. Sympathy Cards are reminders that the loved one had people who cared for and love him or her.
  2. Sympathy Cards show your concern and that you care.
  3. Sympathy Cards can help in the grieving process and the healing process.
  4. Sympathy Cards may become treasured mementos that are passed down through the family.
  5. Sending a Sympathy Card is a way of telling someone that they matter as a human being.

Featured Lenses on Writing Condolence Notes and Condolence Letters 

Sympathy cards are among the most popular greeting cards.

Selecting a Sympathy Card 

The type of sympathy card or note card you choose to use for sending your condolences depends a lot on the circumstances of the loss and the reason that you are writing the sympathy card.

When writing a sympathy card for a friend or family member, you may choose a different type of card than if it was for a co-worker, a patient or an employer.

In a professional setting, it may be better etiquette to take the time and write a condolence note or a more formal condolence letter.

In general you can choose from the following:
    Blank cards with artwork. You can keep a supply handy in your desk.
    Cards reflecting your place of work.
    Sympathy cards (store bought).
    Personal Sympathy Cards.
    Handwritten notes on letterhead.
    Typed letters or notes on letter head.
You might decide to keep several different types of stationery and sympathy cards around, so you have them available to used--just in case.

Image Source: Sympathy Card. Available on Amazon.

Easy Eloquence: Sample Thank You Notes and Sympathy Cards For Every Occasion in the Amazon Spotlight 

Easy Eloquence: Sample Thank You Notes and Sympathy Cards For Every Occasion

Amazon Price: (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

Easy Eloquence is a great resource for writing Sympathy Cards.

This book offers a collection of over 75 examples that provide readers with the right words to help express their feelings when writing thank you notes or sympathy cards.

Parts of a Sympathy Card 

When writing a Sympathy Note be sure to include the following:
  1. Acknowledge the loss.
  2. Express your sympathy.
  3. Include a memory or story of the deceased.
  4. Note special qualities of the deceased or the bereaved.
  5. End with a thoughtful word or phrase.
    * Holding you in my thoughts
    * You are in my thoughts
    * You are in my prayers
    * Wishing you strength in the difficult time

Articles on How to Write a Sympathy Card 

Words of Sympathy - Sympathy Card Sayings - How to Write a Sympathy Card
Some tips on how to express your condolences in the most sensitive and loving way.
How to Write a Sympathy Card
The best way to write a sympathy card is to be genuine and simply say what you feel -thus, you should send your condolences as soon as you hear the news of the death. The following guidelines are for ...
How to Write a Sympathy Card - Tips for Writing Sympathy Cards, What to Write in a Sympathy Card
A sympathy card holds a message for the friends & family members of a deceased person. With our tips for writing sympathy cards & learn how and what to write in a sympathy card.
How To Write A Sympathy Card
Learn how to write a sympathy card with proper etiquette.
Sympathy Card Examples
Examples of sympathy cards and messages from friends and family and from business associates.
Words of Sympathy - Sympathy Card Sayings and Sympathy Notes by Acknowledgements
When sending a sympathy card, it is often difficult to know what to say. We have compiled a list of appropriate and warm sympathy sayings to give you a guideline of what to write in a sympathy card.
The Funeral Directory - Sympathy Card Etiquette
At some point and time in all our lives we will have to write a Sympathy Card. Unlike the other more joyous occasions like congratulating a couple on the new arrival of their baby, the Sympathy Card can be very difficult to compose. The following tips are meant to be suggestions to help with the com

Sympathy Cards on Flickr 

Sympathy Card by thebig429

Calla Lilly ~~ Sympathy Card cover ~ Photo by Sandy Nuss by sandisu

Handmade Sympathy Card by Zeitgeist

sympathy card by Liz Henry

2008 04 15_CindyCards_0692 by Zeitgeist

sympathy by judy_breck

Ways to Sign Your Sympathy Card 

When ending the sympathy card, try and use a thoughtful word, a hope, a wish or expression of sympathy e.g. "You are in my thoughts and prayers."

"Sincerely," "love," or "fondly," may be acceptable for other closings for other types of correspondences, but are generally not the best choices for sympathy notes or condolence letters.

Here are some other possibilities:

    I'm praying for you
    You are in my thoughts
    With Deepest Sympathy
    My sincere sympathy
    With Heartfelt Condolences
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you
    He/She will never be forgotten
    The memory of him/her will always be in our hearts
    Thinking of you
    Thinking of you during this difficult time
    May God's Grace strengthen you
    May your heart and soul find peace and comfort
    My affectionate respects to you and yours.
    Our love is with you always.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    You know you have my deepest sympathy and my love and friendship always.
    My heart and my tears are with you.
    We share in your grief and send you our love.
    We offer our affectionate sympathy and many beautiful memories.
    My thoughts are with you now, and I send you my deepest sympathy.
    We all join in sending you our heartfelt love.
Look through the list. Find the one that seems most like you and use that one, or modify an signature ending to sound more like you.

More Articles on Writing a Sympathy Card or Condolence Letter  

Articles written on Suite 101 about Writing Condolence Cards or Letters.
Writing a Condolence Card: How to Write a Sympathy Card or Condolence Note for a Loss Survivor
Handwritten Sympathy Notes and Condolence Cards are a very important of the grieving and healing processes for those who have lost a loved one.
Writing a Condolence Letter: How to Write a Sympathy Letter or Condolence Letter for a Loss
Sending your condolences or sympathies in a letter following a death is a very old tradition that is still very beneficial for the person who has lost a loved one.

Sympathy Cards Allow Us to Accept and Avoid Death 

The sympathy card allows the sender to acknowledge the death event while still preserving the cultural taboo against talking about it explicity. Acceptance and avoidance, nearness and distance, merge in the message of the card and in the act of sending it.

Charles H. Lippy
Assistant Professor of Religion
Clemson University, South Carolina

Sympathy Cards and Death 

Sympathy Cards and Death
An article by Charles H. Lippy Assistant Professor of Religion at Clemson University, South Carolina that looks at Sympathy Cards and Death published in Theology Today Vol 34, No. 2 from July 1977.

Send Your Sympathies in a Card

My Deepest Sympathies...: in the Amazon Spotlight 

My Deepest Sympathies...: Meaningful Sentiments for Condolence Notes and Conversations, Plus a Guide to Eulogies

Amazon Price: $14.04 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

Author Florence Isaacs guides writers through the ins and outs of offering comfort and support with short yet meaningful notes that will long be remembered by their recipients.

She offers guidelines for diverse situations, with sample letters to draw on, from personal to professional. so that it's easy to strike the appropriate tone for the occasion.

A Sympathy Card Maintains an Old Tradition

We live in a time when people communicate with each other through text or instant messages and sending emails.

Taking the time to send your sympathies in a card or a note is one of the old traditions that still means so much for the recipient.

Featured Lens on Sending Condolence by Email, Text or Instant Message 

Email is starting to be recognized by some etiquette experts as an alternative way of sending at least initial condolences.

Text or Instant Messages should not be used for more serious topics like breaking bad news, breaking up or sending condolences.

Sympathy Card Etiquette in the Technology Age 

When it comes to sending condolences for the loss of a loved one, sending a genuine handwritten note, card or letter is still the best way to send your sympathies to someone following a loss according to etiquette and bereavement experts.

Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS
Writing a Condolence Card

Other Articles on Sending Condolences by Text, IM or Email 

Can I Send Email Condolences? Etiquette for Emailling Sympathies and Condolences
Email is one of the ways that people use to communicate with each other daily. However there are some situations where email is not appropriate, like sending condolences.
Can I Send Text Message Condolences? Etiquette for Texting Bad News, Sympathies and Condolences
Text messages are one way routinely used by many to communicate with each other. However, experts feel that text messages should not be used for more serious topics.
Can I Send Instant Messages as Condolences? Etiquette for Sending Sympathies and Condolences by Instant Message
Instant messages are used by many people to communicate with each other. However experts feel that text messages should not be used at all with more serious topics.
Six Questions to Ask Before You Hit "Send": Etiquette for Sending Condolences by Email, Text or Instant Message
With all of the modern technology there are many ways that messages can now be sent from email to texting. Not all of these are recommended for sending condolence.

Send a Meaningful Gift to a Grieving Person 

Sending a Sympathy Card to a grieving person is more than just sending a card. Written from the heart a sympathy card can be a meaningful gift of support during a time of challenge.

Sympathy Cards become treasured remembrances. Many people save and share their collections with family members, becoming treasured memories. Many of these collections are being shared online in online photo management systems like Flickr.

These cards, notes and letters become tangible reminder of friends who cared which can be re-read sympathy cards over again days, weeks or years after the loss. Some people choose to re-read sympathy cards and letters over again on the anniversary of their loved one's death.

Rereading Sympathy cards years after the loss is a way to remembering the person or pet lost. It is also a way to remember the love and support received from thoughtful friends, family and professionals during a time of great loss.

Image Source: Modified from Sophie's Blank Card. Royalty Free Use.

Sympathy Card Words on Flickr 

Sometimes it is what is on the inside of the card that matters the most.

Sympathy Card by thebig429

Sympathy Card from Lorna, part 2 by rebunting

Sympathy Card inside by bonkrood

letter from vet by Liz Henry

sympathy card jpg by scoobeee

remembering by massdistraction

A Treasured Collection of Sympathy Cards

Sympathy Cards Can be Important Keepsakes 

This blog entry from 2006 is a good example of how much importance and meaning people get from condolence cards, even years later.
Beyond First Impressions: Sympathy cards
Jennifer shares her thoughts on keeping and re-reading old Sympathy cards in her Beyond First Impressions blog.

Collections of Sympathy Cards on Flickr 

People sharing their collections of Sympathy Cards and Letters on Flickr.

Sympathy cards received just since Dad's by nlind

Sympathy Cards by bowtiepr@sbcglobal.net

part one sympathy cards by Phillycop

Sympathy by MTrain14

sympathy cards by vino-girl

Sympathy by MTrain14

Good Grief Cards in the Amazon Spotlight 

Good Grief Cards: Support Group in a Box

Amazon Price: $12.95 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

These Good Grief Cards are helpful for anyone coping with a loss. The cards were created by bereavement specialists and
included quotes and activities for healthy grieving.

They combine thoughtful insights on grief from real people with suggestions to help during the grieving process.

Handmade Sympathy Cards on Flickr 

Handmade Sympathy Cards and Handmade Cards suitable as Sympathy Cards.

Handmade Sympathy Card by Zeitgeist

Custom sympathy card by ArtMind etcetera

2008 04 15_CindyCards_0692 by Zeitgeist

kristen's card by laurenatclemson

handmade card by paperfacets

Patchwork Flower card by Laineys Repertoire

Create Your Own Sympathy Card 

I find being able to do something creative with my hands during a difficult time can help me cope with the situation. One way of keeping my hands busy is to make something, like a personalized Sympathy Card.

When sending a sympathy card, I like to make a special card or take care in selecting a card with a soothing image.

My mother selects one of the photographs she has taken and sends one of her beautiful hand-made photograph cards as her own a personal touch to a condolence note.

With a few stamps and some blank cards, pencils, and pens you can easily create your own sympathy card or condolence note.

Image Source: Sanja Gjenero. Drawing. Royalty Free Use.

Stamps to Make Your Own Sympathy Cards on Amazon 

Flower Sympathy Wood Mounted Rubber Stamp

Amazon Price: $7.59 (as of 07/04/2009) Buy Now

Janlynn with Sympathy Rubber Stamp-with Sympathy

Amazon Price: $7.00 (as of 07/04/2009) Buy Now

SYMPATHY RUBBER STAMP

Amazon Price: $4.99 (as of 07/04/2009) Buy Now

WITH SYMPATHY RUBBER STAMP

Amazon Price: $4.85 (as of 07/04/2009) Buy Now

Blank Cards for Making Your Own Sympathy Cards on Amazon 

Create a Sympathy Card Using Tea Bag Folding 

An Amazing lens featuring the paper craft of Tea Bag Folding.

Sending Business Sympathy Card 

Florence Isaacs, author of "Business Notes: Writing Personal Notes that build Professional Relationships" advises that notes in general are a way to acknowledge that people have lives outside of work with families, hopes and dreams.

A personal note affirms the bond that you share as people, not only as colleagues. Notes help to expresses friendship. Sending a notes is also a way to recognize the events that are important to everyone.

A condolence note is a way of saying "You matter to me as a human being, not only within the confines of the business world."

Image Source: Sympathy Card. Available on Amazon.

Simple, Elegant Sympathy Card Set in the Amazon Spotlight 

Sympathy Note Cards - Antique, Box of 10 cards and envelopes

Amazon Price: $6.90 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

These very basic sympathy cards are great to have for sending business condolences.

The cards measure 5-1/2 X 4-1/4 inches with the words "With Sympathy" printed on the front in dark green ink on premium ivory stock.

A box of 10 cards and matching envelopes.

Example of a Sympathy Card for the Death of a Collegue 

An example of a Sympathy Card that could be written about the death of a colleague.

Dear Steven,

This morning Ms. Thatcher told us the unexpected news of your wife, Susan's sudden death.

I want to send my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. This sudden loss must be very difficult for you and your family.

Your wife was such a great person to have around the College. She was always greeting everyone with a smile and keeping people's spirits up. Her positive presence will be greatly missed.

Remember that the College is filled with people who care about you and are thinking about you and your family in this time of great loss.

With Deepest Sympathies,

_________________ (Your Signature)

Signing the Business Condolence Card 

In the business setting when a colleague dies or a relative of a coworker dies, the death can affect the entire office. Someone in the office may be designated to send a formal Condolence letter. Others in the office may decide to have everyone sign and send a sympathy card.

Signing a sympathy card for someone that you don't know may be difficult. Try and find some comforting words, or generic sympathy closures.

Some helpful suggestions for ways of signing a sympathy card useful for a business setting include:
    With Deepest Sympathy
    My sincere sympathy
    With Heartfelt Condolences
    May God's Grace strengthen you
    My sincere respects to you and yours
Image Source: Signing Card. Modified Microsoft Image.

More Resources for Writing Business Sympathy Cards and Notes 

Business Stationery Writing, A Guide to Writing; Sympathy Letters
Stationery Writing, A Guide to Writing; Sympathy Letter from My Expression.com
How To Write A Condolence Note To Clients
An article on writing condolence notes to clients from the Long Term Clients blog.
Business Sympathy Etiquette
Peggy Post and Peter Post, co-authors of
The Etiquette Advantage in Business, offer suggestions to help you to support colleagues who experience the death of a loved one.
Condolences to Business Associate upon Death of a Loved One
Express your regret over the death but avoid going into the details of the illness or tragedy, its consequences, or how you heard of the incident.

Business Notes: Writing Personal Notes in the Amazon Spotlight 

Business Notes: Writing Personal Notes that build Professional Relationships

Amazon Price: $12.24 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

Editor and author Florence Isaacs emphasizes the value of handwritten or typed letters and notes in the business world as the bridges between professional relationships.

She skillfully informs the business professional of the importance and influence of notes.

Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Neonatal Death Sympathy Cards on Flickr 

Always, I will Remember by flick_family

Card I send to hang on Tree at London's Service (Last years...they send it back to you). by Eggybird

BABY ON CLOUD, H, W. Illustration by Eggybird

Always, I will Remember by flick_family

SANDS Lights of Love in London (14th Dec 7.30pm) by Eggybird

iheldanangel by Eggybird

Sending Sympathies for a Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Neonatal Death 

Deaths from Miscarriages, Stillbirths or Neonatal Deaths occur very early in the life a a baby. These early deaths are considered to be a disenfranchised loss which is a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported.

Many times the person who has suffered these early pregnancy or birth losses do not feel as though he or she has the right to act as if he/she is bereaved, particularly if no one knew about the pregnancy.

Yet the death of a child, no matter what age, is always a difficult loss for parents to bear. Since many parents see children as an extension of themself, the death of a child is the death of hopes and dreams for the future.

Fortunately, we are starting to see some specific cards being made to acknowledge these early pregnancy losses.

Thinking of You cards work equally as well as a way of sending your Sympathies to a grieving parent. Be sure to acknowledge the father in these sympathy cards as well for they also feel the loss.

Image Source: Modified Microsoft Image.

Featured Lenses on Remembering Children 

Lensmaster BlessedOne has this to say about Sympathy Cards for a miscarriage on her A Memory of Miscarriage lens:

A card or note is a wonderful way of letting them know that you care and that you are thinking of them. It can be a great source of encouragement and support.

Thinking of You Card in the Amazon Spotlight 

Thinking of You with Lilies - 5" x 7" Vellum Overlay Greeting Card

Amazon Price: $3.00 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

A 5" x 7" Greeting Card features lilies printed on heavy vellum layered over a separate printed paper card.

Both pieces are held together with a delicate gold tie.

Text inside: "Thinking of You".

Example of a Sympathy Card for a Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Neonatal Death 

An example of a Sympathy Card that could be written about the sudden death of baby either early on with a Miscarriage or later with a Stillbirth or Neonatal Death.

Dearest Laurie & Mark,

I was saddened to hear of the sudden loss of your baby.

I know you have been excitedly planning for his arrival. It must make things very difficult to say "Hello" and "Good-bye" on the same day.

I will be thinking about you both during this difficult time and sending my heartfelt sympathy.

I have seen you handle difficult challenges in the past and wish you the strength to make it through this challenging time.

You are both in my thoughts,

____________ (Your Signature)

Articles on Sending Sympathy Cards for Miscarriages, Stillbirths and Neonatal Deaths 

Miscarriage Sympathy Card: Is there a need?
A look at the need for Miscarriage Sympathy Cards by Ellen M. DuBois, author of I Never Held You.
Berkeley Parents Network: Miscarriage
Thoughts and suggestions about Miscarriage and sending Sympathy Cards from the Berkeley Parents Network.
Cards for Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss
A look at Cards for Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss from the Fertility Blog.
Sympathy Card for Miscarriage?
Thoughts and posts about Sympathy Cards for Miscarriages from the Allnurses.com forum.
WikiAnswers - Is it OK to send a sympathy card for a miscarriage
Manners and Etiquette question: Is it OK to send a sympathy card for a miscarriage?

I Never Held You in the Amazon Spotlight 

I Never Held You: A book about miscarriage, healing, and recovery

Amazon Price: $13.99 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

Author Ellen DuBois shares her painful experiences after miscarriage and the tools that helped get her through the toughest of times-from prayer to relaxation techniques.

I Never Held You validates a woman's grief and gently suggests ways to get through the grief process.

Remembering an Old Friend

Sending Sympathies for the Loss of a Pet 

For pet owners the loss of a beloved pet, particularly a companion animal can cause a great deal of grief and loss. For some, the loss of their companion pet may be even more devastating than the loss of a detested spouse.

Pet losses are often considered to be a disenfranchised loss; this is a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported. The person who has suffered such a loss may feel that he or she does not have the right to act as if he/she is bereaved.

Since many people, non-pet owners don't understand the importance of the loss of a pet, the grief that results following the death of a pet may suppressed by the bereaved. Pet owners grieving the loss of a beloved companion pet may feel that others will think they are foolish, mourning the death of an animal.

Pet owners can be helped in their grieving process by receiving Sympathy Cards or gifts of remembrance for their pet, or perhaps a donation to a favorite charity.

Image Source: Federico Belloli. Two Brothers. Royalty Free Use.

Faithful Friend Poem in the Amazon Spotlight 

Faithful Friend Poem Pet Memorial Keepsake Picture Frame and Pet Loss Sympathy Gift, Black with Foil Accent

Amazon Price: $24.95 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

This gift is a heart-felt sympathy card and gift for family or friends who have lost a pet.

It measures 8" x 7" and holds a standard 3 1/2" x 5" photo.

What to Include in a Sympathy Card for the Death of a Pet 

Writing sympathy cards for the loss of a pet need not differ from the words that you would write for any other loss. I have included some suggestions on what to include in a sympathy card for the death of a pet.
  1. Use the pet's name.
    The animal was very special to your friend and should be named, not referred to as "your dog" or "your cat."
  2. Offer Your Sympathy.
  3. Recall a memory of the pet.
    If possible include one of your own experiences with your friend's pet. Mention one of the animal's positive or lovable traits.
  4. End with a thoughtful expression.
    Several possible endings are listed on this page.
  5. Caution: Do not talk about getting a new pet.
    It takes many people time to get over the death of a pet. The condolence letter is not the place to tell your friend to think about getting another new pet.

Stamps to Make Your Own Pet Sympathy Cards on Amazon 

Terrier Dog Angel Rubber Stamp - Wood Mounted

Amazon Price: $8.00 (as of 07/04/2009) Buy Now

Sympathy in loss of pet Rubber Stamp

Amazon Price: $7.00 (as of 07/04/2009) Buy Now

Rainbow Bridge Sympathy Text Rubber Stamp - Wood Mounted

Amazon Price: $12.00 (as of 07/04/2009) Buy Now

Paw Print Angel Rubber Stamp - Wood Mounted

Amazon Price: $5.00 (as of 07/04/2009) Buy Now

Blank Cards for Making Sympathy Cards on Amazon 

A Sympathy Card for a Pet

Example of a Sympathy Card for a Pet Loss 

The example above comes from Sympathy Card sent from a Veterinarian. The text is written below.

Dear Mr & Mrs.___

I am so very sorry for the loss of Henry.

I could see what a precious companion he had been to you and how hard it was to say goodbye.

He was lucky to have been your cat and so deeply loved.

I hope the special memories you have of him help to bring you comfort now and always.

Take Care,

Dr._____


Image Source: Liz Henry. Letter from Vet. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.

Sympathy Cards for Pets on Flickr 

Pet Sympathy Card by emariecards

NewfAngels by knewfy

sympathy card by Liz Henry

100_3890axl A card for every occasion by Axlk4

Sympathy: Card by eshm

german_shorthair_card by knewfy

old dog.jpg by knewfy

mouse sympathy card by selro4me

In Loving Memory of Snowflake by BlueEyes5

Card by Pacdog

pet sympathy cards by curlyjazz

rattie mouse sympathy card by selro4me

Resources for Writing Condolences on the Loss of a Pet 

Writing Condolences for Pets
From Lynn Gaertner-Johnston's Business Writing Blog, an entry on Writing Condolences for Pets.
Writing a Condolence Note After a Pet Death
An article from the American Hospice Foundation on how to write a condolence note following the death of a pet.
Mourning After
An interview with Christine McNiff by The Cape Cod Times for the following feature article on pet loss.

Weeping Willow Sympathy Card Set in the Amazon Spotlight 

Sympathy Cards - Willow, box of 10 cards and envelopes

Amazon Price: $10.90 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

These Sympathy cards have the simple message "With Sympathy" with a green weeping willow tree on a ivory card.

The cards are blank on the inside and measure 7 X 5 inches.

Sold as a box of 10 cards & matching envelopes.

In Sympathy

Finding the Right Words in the Amazon Spotlight 

Finding the Right Words: Perfect Phrases to Personalize Your Greeting Cards

Amazon Price: (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

Finding the Right Words: Perfect Phrases to Personalize Your Greeting Cards contains ideas for personalizing cards for 30 occasions.

This book is a quick and easy-to-use reference guide designed to jump-start you in the writing process by providing lists of phrases, words, and sentiments for most occasions.

History of Sympathy and Condolence Cards 

Greeting cards began as early human attempts to achieve or maintain relationships with others. The sympathy card was created as a way of expressing emotion, concern and support following a death or a loss.

Sympathy cards may be more popular in the United States than in other countries, where we are often uncomfortable in expressing condolences or hearing about a loss. Americans lead the use of sympathy notes sending more than 125 million sympathy cards each year.

As a simple gesture of support, sympathy cards provide meaning to both senders and receivers. The sending of sympathy cards links people together and according to Charles Lippy in his article on "Sympathy Cards and the Grief Process," sending a card "reinforces a sense of community and solidarity in the wake of the calamity of death."

Image Source: Dave. Vintage Card. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.

Source: The Encyclopedia of Death and Dying. Sympathy Cards - The Emergence of the sympathy card.

Sympathy Card from the Arlington Ladies

Arlington Ladies Provide Sympathy in Times of Loss 


The Arlington Ladies is a volunteer organization that ensures there will always be a presence at Soldier funerals in Arlington National Cemetery and at the cemetery accompanying the Armed Forces Retirement Home in the District.

The Arlington Ladies help comfort military family members during funerals. At the conclusion of a service, after presentation of the flag to the next of kin, they provide verbal condolences to family members at the gravesite and present a card from their group, as well as one from the Army chief of staff and his wife, in sympathy with the survivors.

Image Source: © Andrea Woudenberg. Untitled. Gratefully Used with Permission.
Arlington Ladies pass milestone marker, pass on tradition
An article on the Arlington Ladies from the Military District of Washington website.
The American Spectator
An article in The American Spectator about the Arlington Ladies, a group of retired servicewomen themselves or from military families who attend every funeral at Arlington to ensure that no soldier is ever buried with no one in attendance and also to serve the needs of family members.
Arlington Ladies: Arlington National Cemetery
The Arlington Ladies stand a silent vigil at funerals attended by dozens of ... Since 1973, the Arlington Ladies have ensured that no Soldier - old or young ...
Grim Duty in Section 60 - washingtonpost.com
The Navy ladies formed in 1985. The Air Force had Arlington Ladies as far back as ... Now, the Navy, Air Force and Army have about 50 Arlington Ladies each.

A Featured Lens Dedicated to the Arlingon Ladies 

I was so moved and inspired by the work that these Angels of Arlington are doing that I created their own lens.

Acknowledging Other People's Sympathy Cards and Gifts 


Sending out acknowledgment cards is part of the healing process for the family.


The general rule of thumb in writing Thank You or Acknowledgment Cards is that it is not necessary to send written thank-yous when you receive preprinted sympathy cards that don't have personal messages included.

It is also not necessary to send written thank-you notes to everyone who visits the funeral home.

When people do something beyond sending a card or visiting the funeral home, is when a thank you or acknowledgment card should be sent.

Etiquette suggests that Thank you or Acknowledgment Cards should be sent when someone:
    Comes over to the house for a visit
    Bring flowers
    Make a charitable contribution in the deceased person's honor
    Handwrite their condolences
    Other acts of kindness
Acknowledgment cards or thank-you notes should be sent for any of act of kindness. Some of these actis of kindness include:
    Coming over and sitting with you,
    Sending flowers or food
    Making a donation or contribution to charity

    In addition etiquette experts recommend that if using preprinted cards, you should add at least one sentence to personally express your gratitude.
Image: Modified Microsoft Image.

Sympathy Acknowledgement Cards in the Amazon Spotlight 

Etiquette experts recommend that even if you are using preprinted cards, you should add at least one sentence to personally express your gratitude.

Sending out acknowledgment cards to those who supported you during the loss is part of the healing process for the family.

Ecruwhite Sympathy Acknowledgement Note

Amazon Price: $24.00 (as of 07/04/2009)Buy Now

Recognize the kindness of relatives and friends with this note.

The front includes a message in script, while the inside is blank awaiting your words. Text says "The family of...acknowledges with grateful appreciation your kind expression of sympathy"

100% cotton paper. Matching envelopes.

Articles on Acknowledging Sympathy Cards 

Who does the family need to send thank you notes to after a funeral?
Who does the family need to send thank you notes to after a funeral? Acknowledgment cards or thank you notes should be sent for any of act of kindness.
How should we respond to a sympathy card?
Answers to the question, How should we respond to a sympathy card? from Ask Metafilter.
Acknowledging Condolences from Others - LegacyConnect
It's courteous and important to acknowledge notes of sympathy, as well as flowers or food baskets you've received, or contributions made in memory of the deceased.
Miss Manners on Acknowledging Sympathy Cards
A question from a Gentle Reader wonders about writing thank-you notes to those who supported her after her husband's death from MSN Lifestyle - Relationships.

Final Thoughts on Writing Sympathy Cards 

A helpful sympathy card is one that speaks straight from the heart of the writer to the heart of the recipient.

A sympathy card or condolence note is a way of expressing your support, thoughts and feelings. When writing, it is more important to express thoughts and feelings about the loss than following any script or formula.

The best advice is to:

Write from the heart. Write what feels right.

Image Source: Stephanie Berghaeuser. Hearts of Stone. Royalty Free Use.

Connecting Hearts with Sympathy Cards

Image Credits 

In Sympathy - Holly. In Sympathy. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.

Send Your Sympathies in a Card - © 2008 Kirsti A. Dyer. Composite of Modified Microsoft Images.

A Collection of Treasured Sympathy Cards. - MTrain14. Sympathy. Used with Permission.

Remembering an Old Friend. Joshua Smith. Friends Away. Royalty Free Use.

Sympathy Card from the Arlington Ladies. © Andrea Woudenberg. Condolences. Gratefully Used with Permission.

Connecting Hearts with Sympathy Cards. Dan Shirley. Background. Royalty Free Use.

Copyright Information 

Creative Commons License. Some rights reserved.



Creative Commons License © 2008 Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, FT. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

The material in this resource book may be copied and reproduced on websites or in newsletters, ezines provided that the Author's Biography information is included with any article.

Longer excerpts from this online resource book may not be copied, duplicated or reproduced for use in a for-profit setting without prior written permission by the author.

Contact the Author at the Contact Me link above.

Reader Feedback on How to Write a Sympathy Card 

A place for your thoughts, feedback, stories and suggestions

Share your thoughts on Sympathy Cards.

NatureMaven wrote...

This is a wonderful lens. Thanks especially for including information on how to properly acknowledge pet loss. I am lens rolling this to my own greeting card lens. *****

ReplyPosted June 29, 2009

OhMe wrote...

A very wonderful, helpful lens. I know that Sympathy Cards can be stepping stones to healing and have meant so much to me in the past. I try to send our Thanksgiving Prayer Card to anyone who has lost someone special through the year. I have also given a pretty box for cards to be kept in. Thank you for this very meaningful lens.

ReplyPosted October 31, 2008

Serenity_Prayer_Gifts wrote...

Wow, great lens, lots of helpful info! Thanks! :-)

ReplyPosted September 20, 2008

Frankster wrote...

Wonderful lens. I've needed this information many times. I find it difficult to write on greeting cards, especially sympathy cards. Thank you for the valuable insights and info. Bear hugs, Frankie

ReplyPosted July 23, 2008