T-Shirt Time

Oh Yeah, Champagne, Yeah! Oh Yeah, wake up the whole house, Yeah!

Such a simple and elegant catch phrase could have some real staying power. Imagine all the memories you will make in this shirt. Then you can think back on the good ol' days before you had a house full of little poufs and blowouts running around beneath your feet.

The Situation comes up with some pretty damn funny one-liners and Dirty Little Hamster is one of our favorites! If you happen to be the type of person who leaves used personal hygiene products lying around in public places where your roommates have to deal with them and never clean your home, you probably don't know it, but you're a Dirty Little Hamster!

Most Dirty Little Hamsters are so used to living at home with their parents, that they simply don't know how much work it is to clean up after themselves. It's probably true that most Hamsters are not aware of the fact that they have come to expect someone else to clean up after them.

Gorilla Juiceheads, for those who don't know, are big, tall Guidos all pumped up on Growth Hormones or Steroids. Though indigenous to New York & New Jersey and often found walking the boardwalk in Seaside Heights, apparently there are some Gorilla Juiceheads to be found in the Southern Florida area. Guidettes like J-Woww and Snooki always seem to be on the lookout for tan Guidos with their swole on and I'd bet Sammie would likely consider Ronnie her very own Gorilla.

"To my knowledge, there really isn't a guido culture up there," J-Woww recently revealed in Rolling Stone. "I came down here for college, and I had a boyfriend that was severely into it, and that's how I got accustomed to it."

As mentioned by Jenny in season one, "I see a bunch of Gorilla Juiceheads. tall, completely jacked, steroids, like multiple growth hormones. That's, like, the type that I'm attracted to."-J-WOWW, Jersey Shore

As Vinny says, " . . . it's how they make the Guidos".

There's not much point in taking HGH and Roids if you don't go to the gym to get ripped. If you don't go to the gym, you aren't going to look very good.

Tanning is an essential part of the equation, because you don't want to look pale. A healthy glow draws the interest of the Guidette in heat. For some Guidettes, such as Snooki, the tan even plays a crucial role in their ethnicity.

Listen Bro, everybody needs clean clothes, right? Clean Laundry every day is a big deal if you want to be fresh to death. If you want to be a Bink, youse gotta have pristine threads, my dude.

What is a Grenade?

A grenade is a large, loud and often very unattractive woman (and sometimes prone to violence), who is doing her best to keep her hot friend from hooking up with you at the club. She knows she ain't getting any and she wants to make sure none of her girlfriends do either!

A Wingman is generally considered to be necessary when a Grenade is encountered. The Wingman is expected to "dive on the Grenade", thereby distracting her from her previous blocking tactics. If the Wingman is successful in his sacrifice, your chances of getting to Smush are greatly improved.

The GFF, or Grenade Free Foundation, is a small but growing group of Guidos who are dedicated to helping themselves and their peers to avoid taking home unattractive, loud, large and violent women while being too drunk to realize it. Luckily, there is no registration process or fee. To become a member of the GFF, one simply has to set new standards and avoid the many Zoo Animals roaming the clubs.

This shirt is simply a way to proudly represent your chosen lifestyle and promote this philosophy to like minded people everywhere you wear it.

There has been some discussion of Grenades of the male persuasion, but there is little evidence to show males participating in any form of blocking activity with their comrades,

What does DTF mean?

Get this shirt and make something up when your Grandma asks! Wear it to school and get sent home to change. Wear it to the mall and see if you can make some new Jersey Shore buddies who are DTF, too!!

We're taking the stance that no one is really sure about what this abbreviation means.

Dance 'til Four?
Drink 'til full?
Driven to Fistpump?

No wait, Dry Cleaning, Tan, Fitness!! It's like GTL, but more businesslike.

If you come up with a good one, let me know and I'll put on the list.

This one is fun because you get to decide what DTF means in your world.