Watch Me Lose 40 Lbs

December 5, 2007

As I sit here and type I can tell you that I feel like one fat mama. I don't feel good about myself and it took all my guts to post this picture as I do not like pictures of myself one bit!

While pregnant with my 5th child at 40 years old I gained, and gained, and gained. I remember the scales hitting over 200lbs! I get so sick while I am pregnant that the only thing that makes my stomach feel better is eating and the scale always shows the results.

I was so embarrassed every time I went to my mid-wife for my weigh in while pregnant with my last child. Why the heck to they make you weight in every pregnancy visit anyway? Some sort of sick torture ritual? I dreaded my appointments for that one reason!

All I remember thinking is that I weighed more than a football player. Ugggg!
I wonder if anyone else has ever felt that humiliation of getting on a scale in front of a skinny young nurse while making all sorts of excuses for the weight gain.

Fast forward to today. My gorgeous son is now 18 months and I am still 40 lbs over weight. I am not going to go into all the gory details but I have tried every thing under the sun to lose my extra weight. I tried Weight Watchers,  Medifast, Atkins, The Zone Diet. a Hollywood diet, the Six Week Body Makeover diet,  I even tried the disgusting Cabbage Soup Diet. After each try, I failed. And every time I fail I get so depressed  eat myself silly until I am sick.

Julie's diet pattern:

Monday: Start Diet and be excited.
Tuesday: Hate diet but make it through the day.
Wednesday: Hate diet all day. Cheat about 8pm because I  feel deprived and wasn't this suppose to be easy?
Thursday, Friday, Saturday: Cheat every day because I am starting a new diet on Monday and know I won't get to eat the things I love ever again so better eat them now!.
Sunday: While still cheating and really gorging myself, prepare for new diet by planning and getting supplies so I can start again on Monday.

Am I alone here? Has anyone else ever done this to themselves? What a vicious depressing cycle!

Okay, I am holding back one thing here. I have lost a lot of weight before-a lot of it! After all my other four children were born I was able to lose tremendous amounts of weight and keep it off.

I did not follow a popular diet plan but made up my own based upon my personality of liking change and my busy life style. I had nick named it the Take 5 Diet Plan.  I even lost 40 pounds in about 6 months after my forth child was born.

You may be asking yourself here why I didn't just try that plan again since I had already had success with it.

Well,  I will tell you why. Because although I really loved it when I was on it, it can be hard at times. That is the only reason why. I wanted to lose weight and have it be a breeze. I never wanted to feel deprived. I wanted to lose the weight and have it be easy as all the weight loss programs I saw on the internet had promised me. I wanted the weight to just drop off and be into my size 6 dress in a matter of weeks. I didn't want to actually have to work at it. I didn't want to actually have to feel a hunger pang or lift a finger to lose the weight.  I knew that although my diet was good and worked and actually was pretty fun that at times it was work and I did not want to have to work.

Have you ever experienced the feeling of losing weight and fitting into your favorite pair of jeans?. Or  the wonderful feeling of putting on clothing and actually liking what you  saw? Or the excitement of actually wanting to be hungry as you knew you were going to step on the scale the next day and see a loss? Well, I have and, I knew I wanted to feel those feelings again.but I just didn't want it to have to work at it. I kept thinking there be an easier way than my diet!

Something in my mind triggered last week. It was as if a light went on. I guess sometimes I can be kind of dense so this was like cold water in the face. 

Here is the thought or realization I had. "What in the world are you doing to yourself? You have tried all the popular plans and you have hardly lost a pound since your son has been born! You know how to lose weight, why are you trying to reinvent the wheel? You have done it before and your diet works. The problem is you have been believing the lie that other weight loss plans are easy and they do not involve any sort of effort. Guess what? Anything that is worth having will take effort and weight loss is not an exception!"

It dawned on me that  no matter what any diet tells you on the sales page that the truth is that it is never easy. I had bought the lie that other people could lose weight and not undergo hardship so when I actually  had hardship didn't like it and quit.  I figured the diet must not be working since I was hungry so so I would just give up and give in. I realize now that there is no magic pill! There is no "eat all you want and still lose weight!" there is no "you will never feel hungry diet"

The truth is that any diet is going to take dedication and work! If that was not true than there would be no need for me or you or anyone else to have that desire-we would be thin and this page would be worthless.  I guess I realized weight loss is like anything else in life that is worth having. Good things do not come easy but are a reward for those who seek it..

I have decided to go on my Take 5 Diet Plan again and I am really excited! I know I am going to lose the weight this time and can't wait to document it with pictures and stories.

The reason I started this page is to say to the world you don't have to believe the lie. Accept that it will be work and then you will lose the weight. I am not saying that my diet plan is the answer to everyone's weight loss problem. Although my diet works for me and probably many others, I believe the problem is much deeper than the diet. It comes from how we think. I will write more on this later.

I heard someone say the other day, nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. I think that sums up how I am going to be thinking while tempted.