Understanding "Southern Talk" Without Moving to Dixie

Southern Word of the Day 

• allgitout — English translation: "all get out." Definition: an expression of the ultimate. Usage: "That ole boy is crazy as allgitout!"

Some of My Favorite Southern Expressions 

1. If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
2. This gravy's so good, if you get it on your forehead your tongue's gonna slap your brains out!
3. Stop it right now or I'm gonna whip you so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week.
4. He's ugly as a mud fence!
5. There were so many people in that place, you couldn't stir 'em with a stick.
6. Them dumplin's are so good, they'll make you want to slap your granny!
7. He's drunk as Cooter Brown.
8. He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' briars.
9. He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.
10. It came a frog-strangler yesterday! (meaning "it rained really hard)
11. If you don't stop your cryin', I'm gonna give you something to cry about! (meaning a spanking)
12. If you do that again, I'm gonna pretend like your ass is grass, and I'm a power lawn mower.
13. That's like putting a side saddle on a boar hog! (means you're wasting your time)
14. Beauty's only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone.
15. He's busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest.
16. She's got more nerve than Carter's got liver pills. (evidently there was a product called "Carter's Liver Pills" in the old days)
17. He didn't know me from Adam's housecat.
18. He's as country as a bowl of grits.
19. That's enough to gag a maggot! (it's disgusting)
20. If my dog was ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards."
21. With them buck teeth, she could eat an ear of corn through a picket fence.