Teens ODD - Help for Parents

Just to clear things up even more, I would like to share a definition of ODD and a list of symptoms that can be a result of the negative, uncooperative and hostile behavior you have been persistently observing in your child.

Definition:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a behavior issue in children that is significantly different from the normal, day to day challenges we face in raising children. It is defined by persistently negative, uncooperative, disruptive and hostile behavior that interferes with the childs family, social and academic life. It is behavor that has lasted for more than 6 months and is so frequent that it stands out when compared to children of the same age and development level.

SYMPTOMS:
This list was shared by the Mayo Clinic in 2009.
1. Frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
2. Inability to take responsibility for things. They blame others constantly.
3. Easily annoyed or upset by others
4. Continually disobedient. No regard for rules or authority figures
5. Unwilingness to do things they are asked.
6. Throwing repeated temper tantrums no matter what you try
7. Arguing with adults on a constant basis
8. Revengeful or spiteful towards others.
9. Saying mean and hurtful things when they are upset
10. Academic problems at school
11. Difficulty maintaining friendships

Parenting information and Parent Training Program are still viewed as the main treatment for Oppositional Defiant Disorder.The two main drawbacks of most of these programs are the expense and the availability.

Some practitioners charge $100 or more per visit and considering the program will take several months costs add up. Insurance usually will not pay for such programs. Hence many parents feel they can not afford the program that their child so desperately needs.
In addition, these programs are not available everywhere. You no longer have to worry about those two thing. Mark Hutten's program is not only affordable, but also effective and one that you can complete right from home.

It is tough to live with a difficult disobedient child. However, if you make sure that your child has their other problems addressed and you improve your parenting skills by enrolling in a parent training program, you can do a great deal to improve your child's condition and his future.

Let's start by talking about some things you can try right now. If you have already tried these things and it didn't help, you may need more Help From A Trained Professional who has plenty of experience dealing with defiant, out of control teens.

No matter what, you should remember that your consistent attempts at good parenting, and at maintaining a strong, caring relationship, are among the most important things your troubled teen needs.

Here are 5 things you can do to help with a Teen with ODD
1. Choose your Battles
You need to understand that teenagers are going to act out as this is part of the growing process. Some of these will be major problems and some minor. It is in your best interest to choose which battles really need to be fought.

If you choose your battles wisely, you will have a greater impact when you do talk with them as you will not be seen as a parent who continually harps on them. This does not mean you have to accept back talk but know when to battle and when not to battle. Allow your child a little breathing room to experiment without going over the line.

2. Understand your Child
Know what is going on in their life. The defiance you are seeing could be a direct result of an underlying issue that they don't know how to deal with and have been unwilling to talk about. If you can get them to talk, and lend an understand ear you may make great headway in their behavior. Hence, knowing and understanding what is going on in your child's everyday world is very important.

3. Set rules for your child and stick with what you say.
Let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no. Often, kids will be defiant simply because they know they can get away with it. If your actions and words do not match up, you are sending confusing messages to your kids and they will act out. As the parent, you have to set some firm rules and keep to them!

4. Give your teen guidance.
They may face several situations that they don't know how to handle, and may fail without your help. For example, being bullied. Without some guidance from you, the frustration from that situation may manifest itself in the form of defiant behavior.

5. Get your teen involved in activities with or without the family.
Boredom is a common problem during teenage years so give your teenager something to do. This could be through a program at school or an independent activity to include martial arts, dance, baseball, etc.

Dear Mark - I am only on the second week of your program, but I am already seeing an amazing and positive difference in my daughter. We have struggled with her behavior since she was 9 months old. I was humbled and astounded to learn that I was a big part of the problem in the way that I was reacting to her. We actually have some peace in our home and she even hugs us and says "I love you" on a regular basis. She has even begun apologizing for getting angry and being unreasonable.

The next step is to help her bring her grades up and stay out of trouble at school. I have every confidence that we have turned a corner and I'm referring everyone I know to your program. Thank you! -- T.E.
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Dear Mark-
I wanted to let you know we have completed the first section of program and are starting on section 2. Today I had the challenge of saying no and sticking to it when my son wanted me to make an exception to a consequence he was given for skipping school = (Car is parked) and dishonesty when he told me he would take my truck to the gym, only to find out he did not go to the gym at all = (Loss of cell phone). This morning he told me he hated me and that he wished I would get into a car accident on the way home from driving him to school. I was able to apply the art of removing my myself from his comments emotionally and better yet, when he called me later to ask again if he could go to his girlfriends (because he was doing better in school and really trying) I was able to say no, and that I am proud he is doing better in school, however, I gave the reason for the continued consequence. I was ready to say, I will not argue, and didn't have to as he said okay and then apologized for saying what he said to me this morning. I then was able to tell him that he gets angry and says those things as he has trouble expressing emotions. (I had written ALL the points down today and they were in front of me when he called.) I said we would need to work on this and that I love him very much. We ended the conversation without further problems.

You have to understand that he has been out of control for almost a year now so this was a huge step in the right direction. I know this is just a start, but it feels so good to have some tools to use that really work. Thank-you so much and I will keep you posted. -- S.S.
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Dear Mark-
I am sure you have heard it all before...but I was (am) at my wits in with my 15-year-old son. We have made our first appearance in the court for his truancy. He attends school every day, but he "skips" the detention classes and our district is strict on it's policy and counts this as an absent.

He is failing every class except Gym and a sports fitness class. They are very low F's in the 20-30%, which tells me he is just physically there and not contributing at all. It started last year, new school he played football his 8th grade year, he is a very good athlete. His grades started to fail and the school couldn't let him play basketball. He gave up when they took his sports away from him. Even after informing him that if he brought his grades up he could be a starter on the varsity team his freshman year. He wouldn't do the schoolwork to get him back on track again.

All he does now is come home and shut the door to his room, play online video games. Never speaks unless he wants something. I know that I spoiled him, over indulgence. His dad and I have been divorced for 13 years, and we have always put him first. His dad and I have been close and remain so. I have been remarried
for 11 years, and my son and husband don't have much respect for each other.

So when I came across your website and ebook, I bought it right away!
I never thought that my over indulgence with my son would cause all the behavior that we have been experiencing in the house. Just about every "symptom" of over indulgence you have explained, he is (we are) experiencing.

I love my son. I want to see him succeed in life and in love. Besides his bad behavior and lack of academic success, he is a good kid. I believe with the help of your program, I can possibly get my entire family back on track again. So thank you, I just feel this is my answer.

This program makes a lot of sense to me. I appreciate the straight talk and not a bunch of lists and personal research. I need help now and that is what I feel this offers. Thanks again.