Can I Send My Condolences by Text, IM or Email?

Major Sections of the Text, IM or Email Condolence Lens 

• Six Questions to ask before you hit Send
• Email Message Info
• Can I send condolences by email?
• Text Message Info
• Can I text my condolences?
• Instant Message Info
• Can I send an IM with condolences?
• In Summary

Emailing, Texting, Instant Messaging Defined 

1. Email Message
   Electronic mail, often abbreviated to e-mail, email, or simply mail, is a store-and-forward method of writing, sending, receiving and saving messages over electronic communication systems.
   
   It is an asynchronous form of communicating with someone.
   
   
2. SMS Message
   Short Message Service (SMS) is a communications protocol allowing the interchange of short text messages between mobile telephone devices.
   
   In parts of the world the term "SMS" is used as a synonym for a text message or the act of sending a text message, even when a different protocol is being used.
   
   
3. Text Message
   Text messaging, or texting is the common term for the sending of "short" (160 characters or fewer, including spaces) text messages from mobile phones using the Short Message Service (SMS). It is available on most digital mobile phones and some personal digital assistants with on-board wireless telecommunications.
   
   
4. Instant Message
   Instant Messaging (IM) is a form of real-time communication between two or more people based on typed text.
   
   Instant messaging (IM) creates the possibility of real-time text-based communication between two or more participants over the internet or some form of internal network/ intranet.
   
   It is an synchronous form of communicating with someone.
   
   

Six Questions to ask before you hit Send 

1. When will you see the person next?
2. Why are you sending the message?
3. Where might the person be when they receive the message?
4. Who else might see or receive the message?
5. What else could you do instead of emailing or texting the message?
6. Perhaps the most important -
   How would you react if you received the message you are planning to send?

What to Include in and Email Condolences Note 

1. Acknowledge the loss.
2. Express your sympathy.
3. Include a memory of the deceased.
4. Note special qualities of the deceased or the bereaved.
5. End with a thoughtful word or phrase.
   Holding you in my thoughts, You are in my thoughts, You are in my prayers, Wishing you strength in the difficult time

Guidelines for General Email Etiquette 

1. Be sure to include a meaningful subject line.
   this helps clarify what your message is about and may also help the recipient prioritize reading your email.
2. Open your email with a greeting.
   Use a formal greeting "Dear Dr. Jones," or "Dear Ms. Smith," just like a written letter, unless you know the person well.
3. Use standard spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN AN EMAIL SCREAMING A MESSAGE IN ALL CAPS.
4. Write clear, short paragraphs. Be direct and to the point.
   Professionals and academics alike see their email accounts as business. Don't write unnecessarily long emails or otherwise waste the recipient's time.
5. Be friendly and cordial, but don't try to joke around
   Jokes and witty remarks may be inappropriate and, more commonly, may not come off appropriately in email.
6. Remember that your tone can't be heard in e-mail. E-mail communication can't convey the nuances of verbal communication. Some people use emoticons, but use them sparingly so that you don't appear unprofessional.
7. Use a signature that includes contact information.
   To ensure that people know who you are, include a signature that has your contact information, including your mailing address, Web site, and phone numbers.
8. Don't use e-mail as an excuse to avoid personal contact. Don't forget the value of face-to-face or even voice-to-voice communication. E-mail communication isn't appropriate when sending confusing or emotional messages.
9. Remember that e-mail isn't private.
   People have been fired for using e-mail inappropriately. E-mail is considered company property and can be retrieved, examined, and used in a court of law. Never put in an e-mail message anything that you wouldn't put on a postcard. Remember that e-mail can be forwarded, so unintended audiences may see what you've written.

Top 10 Texting or SMS (Short Message Service) Guidelines 

1. Common courtesy still rules.
   Contrary to popular belief, composing an SMS while you're in a face-to-face conversation with someone is just about as rude as taking a voice call. Your companions deserve the respect of your full attention.
2. Remember that SMS is informal.
   SMS shouldn't be used for formal invitations or to dump your girlfriend or boyfriend. The casualness of SMS diminishes the strength and meaning of the message.
3. Don't get upset if you don't get a reply.
   Before you text someone and get frustrated at the lack of a response, be sure that they're familiar with how to use the service, and that their carrier will accept messages from yours.
   This is extremely important in the US, where the minefield of standards and systems means there's a more than likely chance your message won't get to its intended destination.
4. Be aware of your tone.
   It is extremely difficult to discern tone in text messages, just as in e-mail. What seems to you to be a completely innocuous message may be grossly misinterpreted by the recipient, causing certain discomfort if not irreparable harm.
   Judicious use of smiles ( :), ;P, etc.) can help some, but remember, the best way to avoid misunderstanding is to actually speak to someone.
5. Don't SMS while you're driving.
   Talking on the phone is bad enough. You won't know what hit you - or what you hit - if you are pounding out a message on your keyboard.
6. Leave the slang to the kids.
   Don't expect your stodgy superiors at work to be hip to the lingo of the SMS streets. And don't expect to win points with your kids by trying to be cool, either.
7. Remember that SMS can be traced.
   Unlike landline phones, SMS messages, just like any mobile phone function, can display the name of the sender. Anonymous messages - if you must send them - are still best sent from Web sites.
8. Be conscientious of others' schedules.
   Don't assume that because you are awake, working, not busy, or sober that the person you're texting is as well. Many a pleasant slumber have been interrupted by recurring "beep-beep...beep-beeps" of messages of such grave importance as "what are you doing?", "are you awake?", "check out channel 2...it's funny," then the penultimate "why aren't you writing back?", before finally ending with "I guess you aren't getting these messages."
9. If it's immediate, make a voice call.
   If you can't get through and your text message is ignored, there's probably a good reason. There are still some times when people don't even have a thumb free to respond.
10. Remember that your phone does have an off button.
    There are very, very few things in the world that absolutely cannot wait.