The Ancient Secret to Happiness

The ancient secret to happiness is switching our habit of thinking of "me" and "myself" and "my happiness", to thinking of others, and others' happiness, thus living our lives from the motivation of love and compassion instead of self-interest.

Teachings on the benefits of love and compassion aren't unique to Buddhism. In fact, all religions in the world teach about the importance of kindness and love. Recent scientific research shows that what makes us happy is not how much money we make, or how many possessions we have, but being connected to the people we love, being connected to our community, and being engaged in activities we experience as meaningful.

Yet, most of us are habitually preoccupied with thinking about "me", "what's in it for me?", "what about me?". This habit is so ingrained that it is very difficult to change. Most of us aren't even aware of this habit. With practice it is possible to change this habit and overcome self-centeredness and cultivate more compassion and concern for others. We can literally reprogram our brain to be more compassionate.

The good news is that, although we can certainly become addicted to emotional states that are painful, we can also reprogram our brain to become more loving and compassionate with practice. One of the ways in which we can reprogram our brain is through the practice of meditation. There have been a lot of scientific studies of the brains of experienced and novice meditators that show that practicing meditation on a regular basis produces changes in the brain's activity and even in the structure of the brain. Some of the findings of these studies include that meditation increases relaxation, attention, feelings of well-being, improves the functioning of the immune system, and decreases anxiety and stress.

With practice we can train ourselves to be more loving and compassionate and therefore more happy. "That is what happiness is: the mind being free" (Sakyong Mipham). May this post help you be happier too!

Iektje Stephens is a doctoral psychology intern at the Austin Psychology & Assessment Center. She has earned her Master's degree in Education at the University of Amsterdam and is currently working on her Ph.D. at the University of Texas at Austin where she has received extensive training in psychological assessment, cognitive behavioral therapy, family therapy, interpersonal therapy, and consultation. You can find out more about Austin counseling at her website.