Ze Engrish Drem

Commisioners of the European Union recently announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for communications within the European Union instead of German, which was the other language option.

During the negotiations, the British Government conceded that there was some room for improvement with regards to English spelling. As such, they have accepted a five-year plan known as Euro-English (Euro for short) where English spelling will be improved in phases.

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.