The Idea Girl

This is a picture of Harold de Chef while Barbequeing at the Henry's last summer 2008. They had an Elvis impersonator there for our entertainment (he's always at the Niagara Falls, Ontario Casino).

In my blogs and tweets, I refer to "my sweetie," his name is Harold and we met 16 years ago.

Harold was attending his "cooking" class at Welland High(the school no longer exists) and he was carrying one of those big gray dirty dish containers. I walked in dressed in heels, and a dress and his mouth dropped, and so did the container of dishes. I turned to the sound of a loud clatter of dishes, smiled and clapped with everyone else. Harold was red behind the ears as he darted behind his friend, who was red with embarrassment. He didn't say a word to me, but he told his friend, "i'm in love, I want her someday."

Over the years we bumped into each other as we had mutual friends. He pursued, I kept running. I had gone through a painful divorce and didn't want to be in a serious relationship. Sixteen years later, after he divorced and was single, our mutual friend decided to play match maker. Our first date was in June of 2006 and we have been together ever since.

I was in a car accident on September 5, 2006 that changed my life drastically. After suffering from head and back injuries, I was unable to do many activities I had previously enjoyed. I didn't technically start moving around till about January of 2008. Before then, I was in bed, sleeping most of the time and in constant pain. Any type of walking, sitting or standing would cause nausea, pain and swelling in my feet. I developed "flat feet" and was unable to walk or exercise for almost 3 years.

In 2009, I decided enough was enough. I had spent hours in meditation (bought loads of CDs) and really wanted to get back to exercising. Last year I started a goal to see as many of the Bruce Trails in the Niagara Region as possible. I would walk from 10 to 30 minutes, weather permitting. I found the fresh air and the dirt trails, brought a sense of healing to my mind, body and soul. I did a lot of meditating on those trails and I began to feel better. I have since tried to exercise either by walking or going swimming in January of 2009. I did the Bowen Technique (Let it Heal- $60 per treatment) a few months ago and it has relieved a lot of the pain in the neck and back and I have been able to go swimming for the first time in 3 years.

I'm listening to meditation music that will expand the brain (Gamma/Beta Waves) and bring clearer concentration. It is working, and the weird thing from all this is that the other day I walked faster then I ever have in my ENTIRE life. I have no idea why, it used to drive everyone I know crazy. I walked like a snail, no matter how physically fit I was (before 2006, i'd walk for 5 hrs a day and exercise at the gym for 2 hrs per day (1 hr Aquafit class and 1 hr of workout machines). Basically the Doctor said I wore out my body from too much exercise. I find that kind of amusing, but none the less make sure you don't overdo it either!

I should have concentrated more on my diet, rather than exercise. Harold's been taking care of me this whole time, and now he's reaping the benefits, I take care of him now too.

The saying, "God works in mysterious ways" applies to how Daisy came into our lives.

For years, as a child, I had begged my parents to let me have a pet. All my little friends had cats, dogs, fish and gerbils. At the age of 7, they gave me a white goldfish. One day I found him dead and had a funeral for him as I flushed him down the toilet. It was such a painful experience that I never asked for another pet again.

I had always liked dogs, but one day while out walking, I said hi to a cute little chihuahua and he bit me. From that day forward, I was terrified of all dogs and stayed away from them.

I lost my Father in March of 2004, and took it very hard. I was Daddy's little girl and my Mother who had been married for 39 years went downhill. I lost her in November of 2006. I was happy that they were together, but sad that I had lost my best friends. I was really close to my parents and we hung out every day and did a lot of activities together.

My Father's younger sister, had decided to buy a miniature poodle for her ailing husband. He ended up in the hospital and they needed someone to care for the dog, so Harold and I decided we'd take care of her for a few weeks. My Uncle passed away and my Aunt couldn't take care of the dog, so she gave "Daisy" to me.

She came into our lives in December of 2006 on Boxing Day. We have no history about her, other than she had been abandoned 5 times at the SPCA in Niagara Falls, Ontario and that she was around 6 or 7 years old. My Aunt adopted her from a woman that handles small dogs from the SPCA. Her last owner, had been elderly and had passed away, then she was adopted by a family with 3 kids, a cat and dog and she hadn't gotten along with them, so when we got her we were told she had been abused at one time in her life and been in several homes (could be more than 5).

Daisy suffered from "separation anxiety" she would whine 24/7, cry and shake and constantly want to be held on your lap. It took a year to get her to become independent and comfortable being alone in the house a few hours at a time. I read many books, did research on the internet and would like to thank "The Dog Whisperer - Cesar Millan's" TV Show and his website's guidance and tips.

My oldest son Tim was born in August of 1988 at the Dunnville Hospital, 3 days after his due date. I had started having contractions while at his Grandma Frieda's Birthday that evening around 8 p.m. I prayed that he would be born on his own day (nicer for birthday parties) and he came at 4.a.m the next day.

We had gone home after the birthday party and I was feeling sick and woozy. I had gotten up around 2 a.m. and I knew he was coming, my water broke in the washroom (thank god). Tim's father (his name is Tim as well) was sound asleep. I started banging on the wall with the toilet plunger and screaming at him to wake up. An hour later, my voice was hoarse, I was crying but he finally yelled out, "WHAT!" I said,"The baby's coming, I need to get to the hospital!"

We drove to the hospital, I filled out the forms and they put me in the birthing room. The nurse kindly said, "It's your first one, you'll be here at least 12 hours." I groaned and said, "I don't think so, I can feel him coming." She argued with me about it and walked away in a huff. Tim had gone to the washroom and I started to scream at him to come help.

He tore out of the bathroom and caught Timothy as he came out. The baby would have ended up on the floor with serious injuries, Tim yelled for the nurse and doctors. I remember them cutting the umbilical cord and blood splattering up the whole wall, Tim turned white as a sheet and headed to the bathroom, it totally grossed him out and I passed out cold.

I woke up 3 days later, everything had been a blur and I don't remember much during those 3 days. I just slept out of sheer exhaustion. They told me it was because Timothy had come so fast that my body would take time to adjust to the shock. From the time at home to the time he was born it was 1.5 hours.

I remember the awesome feeling of giving birth and creating my first baby a life, a little form of me and his dad. It was a special moment in time.

Tim has his own sub contracting business and does construction work. He plays lead guitar and sings lead in his bands. Tim is well known for his hilarious and sarcastic sense of humor. The antics he and his brother have pulled on me!

My youngest son Jeff was born in June of 1990 at the Welland Hospital. My birthday is two days before his, I prayed that he would come after mine. He actually came a month earlier on the exact day of estimation.

He was a quick delivery and it was pretty scary, I had just gotten to the hospital and they had to rush me into the birthing room. He was born 15 minutes later. No surprise to me. When I looked down at him I was so excited to have our second son and a little brother for Timothy. Jeffrey made a strange expression when he looked up at me, a thought flashed through my mind, "That's an expression that Pastor Rod Kalistor makes." I found out a few days later, in that very same hospital my youth Pastor had died of cancer at 2.am., the same time Jeffrey was born.

I had a niggling thought, is there such a thing as reincarnation? I wasn't even thinking about my Pastor and I had no idea that he was there that evening. It kind of freaked me out when I found out what had happened.

It was a day or so later, that Jeffrey's face swelled up, he was suffering from Jaundice and the funniest thing happened, he was the spitting image of his Uncle Ralph.

Uncle Ralph came to visit Jeffrey the next day and was standing by the window beside me looking at baby Jeffrey when the nurse said to him, "Do you want to hold your son?"

Uncle Ralph, red with embarrassment, informed her that he "definitely" wasn't the Father and that Jeffrey was his brother Tim's baby.

I was laughing so hard, bent over with tears in my eyes. I had a fit of giggles, I had never seen Ralph look so embarrassed before.

Jeffrey was a quiet baby, he would lay on his tummy all day and play with his little cars. We called him throw rug because he was always on the floor. As he got older, his hair was curly and he was called, "fluffy." I don't call him those names anymore. :)

Jeff loves to sing and he's written over two-hundred songs. I remember when he was 15, he had a huge book of songs that he had written. His lyrics are sometimes poetic, sometimes inspiring or about life in general. Jeff loves doing his own music and is involved in several bands.

Jeff has inherited his sense of humor from his mom, dad, brother and grandparents. He loves to play practical jokes. Once he called my phone and left a message about a donation for $100,000 in an east-indian accent. I called the number and reached a customer service person, I told them I never pledged $100,000 and I just didn't have that kind of money nor did I have the credit card info they requested. The woman thought I was nuts and told me so, "we never call people about donations, you have the wrong number." I hung up feeling embarrassed and confused. A few days later, the boys and I got together for lunch and I told them about the strange call and what had happened. They exploded with laughter, and then Jeffrey started talking in his funny east-Indian accent...

There are two piers in Port Dalhousie and both are great for taking long walks on. In the summer, we go for walks there and go on the Merry Go Round, which only charges 5 cents for each ride.

In the fall and winter we go feed the ducks, geese, birds and swans, our dry stale bread.

Harold and I had our first date in Port Dalhousie and we went for a drink at the "Horny Toad" with our friends back in the summer of 2006. We met in May of 2006, but didn't start dating until September 5th 2006 (This was my Father's birth date - strange or what eh?)

The first time I walked into this Zellers Restaurant along Hwy #3 (just past Simcoe), I couldn't stop laughing at what was on the table. The tiniest shopping cart in the world (I think it is). The first thing I said to my Mother was, "That's What Men Wished We Shopped With." Both of us were howling with laughter, crying and bending over there in the Restaurant. People thought we were nuts. :)

Mom and I spent hundreds of hours together shopping every year.

Mom was a "Shop-a-holic" when we had to clean out her house (upon her passing) we found hundreds of things with price tags attached to them.

My Aunt sold all this "new stuff" and made over $3000 from yard sales.

It gives you an idea how much Mom had kicking around the house.

To top it off we gave away about 1/2 of her stuff to charity (the diabetes association - Mom was diabetic) and sold the other half.

We had about two months to get rid of everything before getting her stuff out of the apt.

Dad had always told Mom she should have owned her own clothing store, she would have made a fortune!

I collect art from second hand stores. This painting is from a Doctor's office and I used to draw something like this years ago. I'm good at drawing islands, with water and palm trees.

A few years ago, I would make up cute little cards on paper with lovey dovey poems and messages for a boyfriend.

The funny thing was, he never loved me and told me so when we broke up.... sigh...

Timothy was 5 years old and Jeffrey was 3. I over heard Timothy saying, "I Hate You!" to Jeffrey. I was really upset and crying about it when their Father Tim came home from work that day. I was an only child, and have never really played with other kids when I was young. I was always around adults, so I had no idea what it was like to have a sibling. When I told Tim what had happened, he laughed.

He explained that it was normal for kids to say things like that when they didn't get their own way. He said, "Don't worry about it, they will be the best of friends someday." It was a constant war at times, usually because Timothy would find Jeffrey's allowance laying around and grab it.

Jeffrey would come crying that Timothy stole his money. Timothy would say he found it on the ground, "finders keepers, losers weepers." He had learned that from me. One day Timothy decided to make Jeffrey a nice piggy bank out of a kleenex box. He asked for the scissors and tape and got to work on it. It was pretty nice looking and he held it out as Jeffrey put his change into it. They were around 5 and 3 at the time.

Jeffrey walked away with the little piggy bank and put it in his room. That day I was moving it around while cleaning his room and noticed it was empty. I turned to look at it and there was a hole in the bottom of it! Timothy had grabbed the change as soon as Jeffrey dropped it into the box! I went and confronted my son about it and he was laughing. He said it was only a joke and he would give Jeffrey back his money.

Another time, Timothy was showing Jeffrey a nickel and he said, "I"ll trade you, mine is bigger." Jeffrey handed Timothy his dime. I said, "Wait a minute! The dime is worth twice as much as the nickel!" Timothy was laughing his head off and Jeffrey said, "I don't care, I want the bigger one." I left them to their own devices.

Usually at the end of the month we would go to the dollar store so the boys could buy something with the money they had earned from doing chores that month. I would cover the rest of the cost up to $1.

When they showed me their change, Jeffrey had much less than Timothy. Now part of my discipline for Timothy was if he got in trouble he had to pay a nickel. I knew that month he should have had less money. I pulled Timothy aside and asked how he had made extra money. He replied, "Jeffrey pays me a nickel a day to make his bed." I shook my head and thought, "This kid is a genius!"

I scolded Jeffrey and told him the purpose of him making his bed was to learn how to take care of his own house someday. He replied," I'll hire a maid." Where does a Mother win with that comment. Both boys are very bright, but Timothy takes the cake on ways to make money off your younger brother under the age of 6.

When Tim turned 15, I advised him to get himself some weights and start to get into shape. Jeffrey followed suit. They love to be active (like their Mother) and go hiking.

I used to take them out for a walk every day. Jeffrey was really slow and hated walking, Timothy would usually run ahead and I would have to yell at him to wait up for us. In the summer we went hiking on the trails, swimming in the pool (we had a lifeguard friend named Jeff Welynchka) and would religiously play in the sand and make mud pies. We took time to go to the library and get books, and read a story every day. We did crafts and colouring and learned how to do household chores and cooking. Their Father Tim and I, aunts, uncles and grandparents all loved to sing, so we would play the piano or guitar and sing praise and worship songs together. Timothy used to sing while jumping on his bed at the age of 2, he broke the frame and we ended up putting the mattress and box spring on the floor. Jeffrey (our throw rug) would be laying on the floor nearby rocking back and forth crawling around while gurgling along with Timothy.

I kept them busy, at 6 p.m, I would put them in their rooms for play time, lights went out at 8 p.m. We always went to the dollar store every month for new toys. Timothy would beg to buy a toy gun, the answer was always no! I found out this year he likes to hunt. (now he gets to play with guns) Jeffrey would always buy a new car to play with. He must have owned every single matel car ever made.

We got lego blocks and their dad would sit down with them and build lego cities.
Their dad Tim and Uncle John (twin brothers) used to make awesome lego cities and cars. They once made a motorized ski lift with a battery and string. Great imagination ran in the family. Their Aunt Wendy was always making crafts and things, so when they went to visit her they would come home with a gift for Mom and Dad.

My dad used to body build at their age, and I used to body build at their age as well. I told them lean muscle is the best way to avoid getting a pot belly (runs in my family). They continue to stay physically fit and inspire me to exercise as well.
We usually go to a movie every now and then, go play golf and we go visit my parents at the grave yard to pay our respects.

When I looked at their wall the other day, they had pictures of their Grandfathers posted on the wall. I asked how come no picture of their parents, and the reply was, "Your not dead yet." Geez....

Someday they want to be famous and sing full time. They have their band "Branded by God" and they won first prize at the battle of the bands, I think two-hundred bands participate in that event?(not sure about the numbers) They play at the Mudcat Festival and are in the parade too. I know they play at many youth events and at several churches.

They come from a talented musical family. My Father sang professionally for years and was in a band when he was younger. He played rock n roll and heavy metal, just like my sons. Tim their Father and I, used to be in a band called, "Youth Force." We played christian music, some integrity hosanna, and their Uncle John always wrote his own songs. He has written hundreds of songs and said someday he would record a CD but never has.

They should all team up together and do something. Their Uncle John plays guitar, Uncle Serge drums, Aunt Wendy sings, Their Father plays drums, sings and plays guitar and I used to sing, play guitar and piano like my dad. My Father and I used to sing together at various church events. I actually have his piano sitting in my office and haven't set it up yet. It's kind of crowded in here but I'll do it sometime soon.

Tim and I divorced in 1999 and he remarried. On his wedding day, I left a message congratulating them and welcoming Jacqueline to the family. She's been a great Step Mom to my sons. As you can see their Dad Tim, also loves the outdoors and loves to travel.

They have gone on several vacations to Florida. The boys went to California by themselves. I have yet to go to either place, I am a nervous traveler.

I met their Dad Tim when I was twelve years old, we have been friends ever since. I used to get him and his brother John mixed up because they are "identical" twins.
We had a lot of fun while growing up. I used to go to Tim's house every summer to stay and visit, I was friends with his sister Wendy.

Tim's family took care of foster kids (51 in total over the years!) and usually a total of 10 kids would be living in this old farm house. I really enjoyed visiting them, because being an only child, it was kind of lonely sometimes. I loved all the excitement at their house, a close knit family, they always had dinner together every Sunday and relatives would come. They instilled a lot of family values in me. I was always alone with my parents, and didn't interact much with others while growing up. I spent most of my time in my room, reading, coloring and playing with toys as a child. I never played with any other kids so I had no idea how to mix with people my own age.

When I met Tim, all of that changed. He was an easy-going, friendly and sweet person with a wonderful warm personality. I met tons of people and learned how to make friends. I loved his Mom's cooking (my parents ate out all the time, no one felt like cooking) and she taught me the basics on how to cook vegetables and meats (by watching her). She's an amazing woman with lots of patience and I always looked up to her and still do.

His brothers and sisters were very close and they did everything together. I had seen so many broken homes (my school friends) that I was shocked at this family's closeness. They all loved one another. I wanted to be a part of the family and have loving caring kids like they did. I married their youngest son Tim in 1987.
We had Timothy a year later and Jeffrey two years later. We were a close knit family and over the years Tim and I had our differences and in 1997, we parted ways and divorced in 1999. It was a painful time for me but a learning experience just the same. I have many regrets and I cannot change the past, but I continue to make my future better and spend quality time with my sons.

We are busy people, but we keep in contact by email or by phone and arrange to see each other whenever we can. It's always a joyous time to be with my sons. I love the fact that I got to have children and that they brighten my day. I especially love their sense of humor and they remind me so much of my parents and loved ones that have passed on. My grandparents, aunts, uncles and parents were all very "funny" people and so was Tim's Father Ralph. The boys grandfather was a pastor and a pig farmer when I met him. He was an awesome, loving and caring person , full of life , wisdom and great advice. We miss our loved ones and think about them everyday. :)