The Man Rules Video Showcase

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!
If you are reading it in English - Thank a Vet

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothings wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

My wallet is Duct Tape and I got it for Christmas.

"What happens when you take three really good friends and mix them with some duct tape, a lot of time, a kitchen table, a small brown dog, day old pizza, cold beverages, a small electrical fire, no money, lots of creativity, a midget friend named Hal, and a blackout?

"Believe it or not, you get a duct tape wallet... And then you get some heartburn and then you lose your fingerprints (that's probably a good thing), and then you quit your job, and then everyone thinks your crazy for making duct tape wallets (some people just don't get it.)

"Follow your dreams and keep it together." Ducti

A lady got up very early one morning and went outside
to pickup the Sunday paper, she noticed someone had
tprayed red paint all around the sides of the neighbors
brand new beige truck. She went over and woke him up
and gave him the bad news. He was, of course
extremely upset.

And they stood there trying to figure out what could
be done about the problem. They decided there wasn't
much recourse but to wait until Monday, since nothing
was open. Just then another neighbor came out of his
house,

Surveyed the situation and immediately went to get his
WD-40 out and cleaned the red paint off with it. Guess
What! It cleaned up that paint without harming the
original paint on the truck! I'm impressed!!

"Water Displacement #40." The product began from a
search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect
missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three
technicians at the San Diego Rocket chemical
company. Its name comes from the project that was
to find a 'water displacement' compound. They were
successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The
Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas
missile parts.

Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is
nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you...' IT IS MADE
FROM FISH OIL' . When you read the 'shower door'
part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned
that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works
just as well as glass. It is a miracle! Then try it
on your Stovetop... It is now shinier than it has ever been
before.

1) Protects silver from tarnishing.
2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4) Gives floors that `just-waxed` sheen without
making it Slippery.
5) Keeps flies off cows.
6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7) Removes lipstick stains.
8) Loosens stubborn zippers.
9) Untangles jewelry chains.
10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12) Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from
oxidizing.
13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and
doors in Homes
18) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen
floor! Open some windows if you have a lot of
marks.
19) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car.
Removed quickly, with WD-40!
20) Gives childrens' play gym slide a shine for a
super fast slide.
21) Lubricates gear shift on lawn mowers.
22) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky
noises.
23) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes
them easier to open.
24) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open
and close.
25) Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in
vehicles, well as vinyl bumpers.
26) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27) Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons,
& and bicycles for easy handling.
29) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps
them running smoothly.
30) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and
other tools.
31) Removes splattered grease on stove.
32) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35) Removes all traces of duct tape.
36) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees
to relieve arthritis pain
37) Florida's favorite use 'Cleans and removes
love bugs from grills and bumpers.'
38) Protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39) WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait
or lures And you will be catching the big one in no time.
40) Ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and
stops the itch.
41) WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls.
Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42) If you've washed and dried a tube of lipstick with
a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots
with WD-40 and Presto! Lipstick is gone!
43) If you spray WD-40 on the distributor cap, it will
displace the moisture and allow the car to start.

Keep a can of WD-40 in your kitchen cabinet. It is
good for oven burns or any other type of burn. It
takes the burned feeling away and heals with NO scarring.
Remember, the basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

Just remember.... If it is supposed to move and
doesn't, spray it with WD-40.

If it moves and it isn't supposed to, use Duct Tape.

:-)

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8 . Dont use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

Send This Posting To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called ....... therapy

Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much

If you think "socialism" when you hear Barack say "change," then you might be a redneck.

If you think there's nothing about San Francisco that a rise in the ocean level could not cure, then you might be a redneck.

If you think slick politicians who rise from a political dung heap like Chicago might not be the fresh breeze they purport to be, then you might be a redneck.

If you think Michael Moore is John Murtha and Joy Behar's love child, then you might be a redneck.

If you actually believe Obama's close buddy Bill Ayers when he says he's an anarchist, a Marxist and is unashamed of bombing the Pentagon and the Capitol building, then you might be a redneck.

If you think Jeremiah Wright, Obama's pastor for 20 years, is more unhinged than a spider monkey that just had turpentine poured on its butt, then you might be a redneck.

If you get PO'ed because the vast majority of our college campuses spew anti-American rhetoric to your young 'uns, then you might be a redneck.

If you think it's kind of weird for Obama to be close friends with some of the most unpatriotic SOBs in the USA, then you might be a redneck.

If you don't like your kids being taught in the public schools that America is an oppressive, imperialistic country that needs a heavy dose of Marxism to make it better, then you might be a redneck.

If you'd prefer your kids not be a part of an elementary education that has thoroughly been queered-their words, not mine-then you might be a redneck.

If you're looking for a new name to call acorns after this election cycle because the fraudulent voter registration group ACORN has sullied the name of this innocent nut, then you might be a redneck.

If you like Joe the Plumber's tax plan more than Joe "the Bumbler" Biden's tax scam, then you might be a redneck.

If you think it's patriotic to pay fewer taxes, then you might be a redneck.

If you bitterly love your guns, Jesus, apple pie, deer hunting, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girls, baseball, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, then you might be a redneck.

If you believe Barney Frank is more of a Barney and less of a Frank, then you might be a redneck.

If you don't like your baby's first grade class being bussed in to attend their lesbian teacher's wedding, then you might be a redneck.

If you think your lazy-eyed, evil half sister Erlene, the one with Tourette's, is more fair and balanced than the mainstream media even on Saturday nights when she is all liquored up, then you might be a redneck.

If you think the Fairness Doctrine is the beginning of the end of free speech, then you might be a redneck.

If you think terrorists should be bombed into oblivion versus chatted with over tea and a smoldering hookah, then you might be a redneck.

If you equate "progressives" with the two Dutch weirdos who bought the farm next door to yours and blast Boy George music from their house, have bizarre barn dances on the weekends and keep stealing your young female sheep, then you might be a redneck.

If you don't like it when two-year-olds, corpses, house pets, Disney Characters and child molesters get to vote (and vote often), then you might be a redneck.

If you get teary eyed when you hear the Star Spangled Banner and proud when you see our soldiers, then you might be a redneck.

If you mutter curse words under your breath when you see a hippie wearing a Che Guevara T-Shirt,
then you might be a redneck

Dating is a game but 95% of the men out there have no idea how to play it. It's true, dating is a numbers game and most guys' chances of success are slim. Don't get me wrong, everyone gets rejected, even the most attractive, hottest, richest most charming guys hear a "no" once in a while.

But that's what dating is all about, it's a numbers game, a game of chance and You Are About To Increase Your Chances Of Sweeping A Beautiful Woman Off Her Feet Ten Fold!

Read the "Man's Guide To Success With Women!" e-book now.

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Doesn't that feel good?

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