The Original Bushwhacker Pokes Fun At George W. Bush
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The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder
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Dead Certain: The Presidency of George W. Bush
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George Bush Goofs
George W. Bushism's And Jokes
"Actually, I - this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about - when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me." -George W. Bush, in May 2000
Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, & George W. Bush are in a boat in the middle of the ocean. The boat is sinking. Who gets saved? The American People!
Bush's original idea for a campaign slogan - "Reform 'N Stuff."
"As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."--CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000
How many George Bush's does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb, one to promise he'll do it better than anyone else, and one to obscure the issues.
A Bush foreign policy idea designed to win over minority voters - Appoint a black man as ambassador to the Bermuda Triangle.
"If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders."
"I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy."-Redwood, Calif., Sept. 27, 2000
Why is George Bush so hard-headed?
His skull protects the weakest part of his body.
"One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected."-Los Angeles, Sept. 27, 2000
What were George W. Bush's three hardest years? A: Second grade.
"It's your money. You paid for it."-LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000
The American myth is that every boy can grow up to be President.
The reality now is that the boy doesn't have to grow up?!
"The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!"
--The first Presidential debate
Bush18.gif (27756 bytes)
"We need to stop the exquisite sex and wholesome violence that underscore our children"
--NPR Public Radio
"My [tax cut] plan is realistic because it avoids meaningless 15-year projections."
--George W. Bush goes to extraordinary lengths to defend his tax cut plan. (Quote is from a Bush speech in Iowa, 12/1/99)
"I would have my secretary of treasury be in touch with the financial centers, not only here but at home."-Boston, Oct. 3, 2000
"I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth."
--Nashua, N.H., as quoted by Gail Collins, New York Times, Feb. 1, 2000
"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century. "-On the Lewinsky scandal, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
Why is Dolly Parton jealous of Washington D.C.?
It has two of the biggest boobs in the world -
Bush & Dick
"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house."-Des Moines Register debate, Iowa, Jan. 15, 2000
"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."
"I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah it's right. Well no it's not right that's why I said no to it."
--South Carolina, February 14,2000
175_pixel_spacer.gif (842 bytes)
A researcher called G. W. Bush house in Austin. G. W was sleeping in late and was awaken by the call. He was half-asleep when he answered the phone.
Researcher: Excuse me, sir. I'm conducting a survey
GW Bush: Questions? No political questions.
Reseacher: Political, sir?
GW Bush: Do you know who you are calling?
Researcher: We call numbers at random, sir. May I ask --
GW Bush: What is this about?
Researcher: We are asking people do they think COKE beats PEPSI.
GW BUSH: I've never tried pepsi. Is that a new thing?
"This is what I'm good at. I like meeting people, my fellow citizens, I like interfacing with them."-Outside Pittsburgh, Sept. 8, 2000
"I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike. ... I believe we ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society. ... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."-Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999
"There is madmen in the world, and there are terror." (AP) "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."--Ibid.
What's the difference George Bush and a chimpanzee? One has nearly the mental abilities of a human child and the other likes to eat bananas. "Put the 'off' button on." (AP)
"I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together."-Bartlett, Tenn., Aug. 18, 2000 (Thanks to Tarja Black.) "Higher education is not my priority."
"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal-federal cufflink."-At Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000
"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."-Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
"Reading is the basics for all learning."-Announcing his "Reading First" initiative in Reston, Va., March 28, 2000
"I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace."-Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000
winning." "Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He
represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally
comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where
I'm coming from."-Detroit, Sept. 7, 2000 (Thanks to Michael Butler, Houston, Texas.)
"I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children."-Second presidential debate, Oct. 11, 2000
"I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying to convince those college students to accept my tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university."-Today, Feb. 23, 2000
"I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know."-On what happened in negotiations between the Justice Department and Elián González's Miami relatives, as quoted by the Associated Press, April 26, 2000
"The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming."--on his anti-Gore ad, in an interview with the New York Times, Sept. 2, 2000
"It's going to require numerous IRA agents."-On Gore's tax plan, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000
"It's going to require numerous IRA agents."-On Gore's tax plan, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000
"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."-In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate. Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000
"Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we're not a party of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a party that welcomes people." -George W. Bush, in July 2000
"Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way America is all about."
"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."-St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."-In Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000
"Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where I'm coming from." -George W. Bush, in Sept. 2000
"The fact that he relies on facts--says things that are not factual--are going to undermine his campaign." --New York Times
"It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."-Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000 "That's Washington. That's the place where you find people getting ready to jump out of the foxholes before the first shot is fired."-Westland, Mich., Sept. 8, 2000
...""I think we agree, the past is over."--On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News
"And if he continues that, I'm going to tell the nation what I think about him as a human being and a person."-President George H.W. Bush, on the Today show, Aug. 1, 2000
"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" -George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"-Explaining the need for educational accountability in Beaufort, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000
175_pixel_spacer.gif (842 bytes)
"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."-Speaking during "Perseverance Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H. As quoted in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000
"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis."--Meet the Press, April 15, 2000
"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans."-Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000
Wordpress Tutorials
Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, & George W. Bush are in a boat in the middle of the ocean. The boat is sinking. Who gets saved? The American People!
Bush's original idea for a campaign slogan - "Reform 'N Stuff."
"As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."--CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000
How many George Bush's does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb, one to promise he'll do it better than anyone else, and one to obscure the issues.
A Bush foreign policy idea designed to win over minority voters - Appoint a black man as ambassador to the Bermuda Triangle.
"If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders."
"I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy."-Redwood, Calif., Sept. 27, 2000
Why is George Bush so hard-headed?
His skull protects the weakest part of his body.
"One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected."-Los Angeles, Sept. 27, 2000
What were George W. Bush's three hardest years? A: Second grade.
"It's your money. You paid for it."-LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000
The American myth is that every boy can grow up to be President.
The reality now is that the boy doesn't have to grow up?!
"The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!"
--The first Presidential debate
Bush18.gif (27756 bytes)
"We need to stop the exquisite sex and wholesome violence that underscore our children"
--NPR Public Radio
"My [tax cut] plan is realistic because it avoids meaningless 15-year projections."
--George W. Bush goes to extraordinary lengths to defend his tax cut plan. (Quote is from a Bush speech in Iowa, 12/1/99)
"I would have my secretary of treasury be in touch with the financial centers, not only here but at home."-Boston, Oct. 3, 2000
"I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth."
--Nashua, N.H., as quoted by Gail Collins, New York Times, Feb. 1, 2000
"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century. "-On the Lewinsky scandal, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
Why is Dolly Parton jealous of Washington D.C.?
It has two of the biggest boobs in the world -
Bush & Dick
"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house."-Des Moines Register debate, Iowa, Jan. 15, 2000
"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."
"I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah it's right. Well no it's not right that's why I said no to it."
--South Carolina, February 14,2000
175_pixel_spacer.gif (842 bytes)
A researcher called G. W. Bush house in Austin. G. W was sleeping in late and was awaken by the call. He was half-asleep when he answered the phone.
Researcher: Excuse me, sir. I'm conducting a survey
GW Bush: Questions? No political questions.
Reseacher: Political, sir?
GW Bush: Do you know who you are calling?
Researcher: We call numbers at random, sir. May I ask --
GW Bush: What is this about?
Researcher: We are asking people do they think COKE beats PEPSI.
GW BUSH: I've never tried pepsi. Is that a new thing?
"This is what I'm good at. I like meeting people, my fellow citizens, I like interfacing with them."-Outside Pittsburgh, Sept. 8, 2000
"I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike. ... I believe we ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society. ... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."-Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999
"There is madmen in the world, and there are terror." (AP) "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."--Ibid.
What's the difference George Bush and a chimpanzee? One has nearly the mental abilities of a human child and the other likes to eat bananas. "Put the 'off' button on." (AP)
"I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together."-Bartlett, Tenn., Aug. 18, 2000 (Thanks to Tarja Black.) "Higher education is not my priority."
"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal-federal cufflink."-At Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000
"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."-Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
"Reading is the basics for all learning."-Announcing his "Reading First" initiative in Reston, Va., March 28, 2000
"I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace."-Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000
winning." "Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He
represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally
comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where
I'm coming from."-Detroit, Sept. 7, 2000 (Thanks to Michael Butler, Houston, Texas.)
"I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children."-Second presidential debate, Oct. 11, 2000
"I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying to convince those college students to accept my tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university."-Today, Feb. 23, 2000
"I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know."-On what happened in negotiations between the Justice Department and Elián González's Miami relatives, as quoted by the Associated Press, April 26, 2000
"The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming."--on his anti-Gore ad, in an interview with the New York Times, Sept. 2, 2000
"It's going to require numerous IRA agents."-On Gore's tax plan, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000
"It's going to require numerous IRA agents."-On Gore's tax plan, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000
"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."-In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate. Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000
"Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we're not a party of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a party that welcomes people." -George W. Bush, in July 2000
"Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way America is all about."
"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."-St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."-In Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000
"Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where I'm coming from." -George W. Bush, in Sept. 2000
"The fact that he relies on facts--says things that are not factual--are going to undermine his campaign." --New York Times
"It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."-Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000 "That's Washington. That's the place where you find people getting ready to jump out of the foxholes before the first shot is fired."-Westland, Mich., Sept. 8, 2000
...""I think we agree, the past is over."--On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News
"And if he continues that, I'm going to tell the nation what I think about him as a human being and a person."-President George H.W. Bush, on the Today show, Aug. 1, 2000
"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" -George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"-Explaining the need for educational accountability in Beaufort, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000
175_pixel_spacer.gif (842 bytes)
"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."-Speaking during "Perseverance Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H. As quoted in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000
"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis."--Meet the Press, April 15, 2000
"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans."-Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000
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More Bushisms
Don't you love when George makes his goofs!
"Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit. I appreciate-APEC summit."-addressing the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation, Sydney, Australia, Sept. 7, 2007"I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject."-answering a question concerning a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007
"I cannot look a mother and father of a troop in the eye and say, 'I'm sending your kid into combat, but I don't think we can achieve the objective.' "-Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."-Martinsburg, W. Va., July 4, 2007
Bushisms Round 3
George, W. Bush Keeps Them Coming
"I've got God's shoulder to cry on. And I cry a lot. I do a lot of crying in this job. I'll bet I've shed more tears than you can count, as president." --George W. Bush, as quoted by author Robert Draper in Dead Certain
"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007
"I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject." --George W. Bush, answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007
"You know, I guess I'm like any other political figure: Everybody wants to be loved." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way." --George W. Bush, Martinsburg, W. Va., July 4, 2007
"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007
"I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject." --George W. Bush, answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007
"You know, I guess I'm like any other political figure: Everybody wants to be loved." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way." --George W. Bush, Martinsburg, W. Va., July 4, 2007
