Highschool Sweethearts
It was 1999. I was 17 years old and just started my Senior year of highschool. I walked into my 4th period English class and found a seat. The bell rang and in walked a straggler...a boy I hadn't seen before. The teacher put us in alphabetical order...my maiden name was Bales so I was second in the row. "Roger Barnhart", Mrs. Jones said. It was the boy who had been late. He sat right behind me. We had a mutual friend in the row next to us so we all started talking and we were introduced. I found out that we had been in school together since 8th grade but had never met...funny how that happens.When class was over we said our good byes and parted ways. The next day, I decided that I had to get to know this guy better. I turned around and threw my notebook on his desk. "What's this for?", he said. "Your phone number." I replied. That was just the beginning. We started 'going out' two days later and became inseparable.
Roger and I had a great year together. The picture above is of the two of us before our Senior prom. We look in love and carefree. There are a few things you can't see in that picture though. You cannot see the fear in our minds, the worry in our hearts, or the child growing in me. That's right...I was 5 months pregnant at my prom and we were scared to death.
Are you pregnant?
Here are a few books that helped me
The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy
Amazon Price: $10.20 (as of 12/23/2009) 
Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth
Amazon Price: $9.32 (as of 12/23/2009)
The What to Expect Pregnancy Journal & Organizer
Amazon Price: $9.32 (as of 12/23/2009)
Reality Check
As a teen in love, you have all the hope in the world that life will be great and things will be perfect forever...Wrong! We had finished highschool but our future had been decided before that day. While Roger and I were dating he had told me about his desire to become a United States Marine. He had been planning to enlist that Summer and I had every intention of being by his side. We had not, however, counted on having a baby. Reality was setting in.I would never have asked Roger to give up on his dream so he went off as planned. Marine Boot Camp is 13 weeks long. I was due October 1, 2000 and he would be home at the end of August so I thought we were safe...wrong again. After Boot, Roger had 10 days leave before he had to go to Marine Combat Training...about 21 days long. After that he had to go to his specialty training, combat engineer school. He had a little time off in between but nothing significant. The point is, Laura Kaitlyn Barnhart was born Sept 25, 2000 and Roger was not there. I had my family and his family with me but I still felt like a part of me was gone. Roger got to see her when she was about 2 weeks old while he was on 'liberty' (that's what they call the breaks). He had drove from North Carolina to Tennessee just to see her for a few hours before he had to turn around and go back. It was a short lived moment of happiness.
Kaitlyn was 7 weeks old in November when Roger got another 96 hour liberty. He came home and we decided "hey! let's get married". So we did. We had a small ceremony at the county court house on November 13th. It cost $40, the price of a marriage license. We should have been leery when the pastor dropped the bible in the middle of the service but we all had a laugh out of it and moved on. We have a few out of focus pictures and the memories of it but that is all. It kind of set the tone for us as a couple...we were impulsive and spur of the moment, just like a lot of other things we have done during our marriage.
Roger left that night...no reception, no honeymoon, just good-bye...again.
"In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want another city, I like this city." - Katie, "The Story of Us"
There is a thin line between love and hate
Roger eventually came home to stay. He went into the Reserves so he could be with his family. We rented a little apartment and started our lives together. We were on top of the world but we were young and naive and the world hit us hard. We had every problem that a new marriage could have. We were very poor with a young baby and we didn't have a clue what it took to run a household and make a marriage work.That first year was very hard. I went though the whole 'stay at home with the baby while my hubby got to get out in the world' blues. Roger just wanted to rest when he got home and all I wanted was help. He had single, childless friends that wanted him to go out with them. He always went and I always resented him for it. We fought constantly and couldn't afford our apartment and I was at the end of my rope. We weren't that carefree couple anymore; we were like roommates. Roger felt like he had lost his youth and I felt like I was doing everything and wondered why we were even married.
"That's Us!"
On one of the rare nights when we were both at home, we sat down to watch tv together. A movie was coming on that had Bruce Willis and Michelle Pheiffer in it. It was called "The Story Of Us". We started watching it together. It was about a married couple that were polar opposites. They fought all the time and eventually they decided to get divorced. He moved out and a lot of events happened that brought them closer and closer and they realized that they still loved each other and decided to stay together.
During the movie, Roger and I would make comments like "You act like that" or "We've done that to each other". We followed the movie together intensely and eventually we started holding hands. When Michelle Pfeiffer said she wanted to stay with Bruce Willis in the end we were both crying our eyes out. That was us; it was our story. We had a great talk that night and decided that we were going to give it another go.
Picture courtesy of allposters
Watch the trailer
"ETOOT"
The next day, Roger was leaving to go to work and we were both still elated about the night before. It was like we fell in love all over again. As he was going out the door, I said "I love you". "How much?", he replied. I thought about it for a sec and held up hand. I toughed my thumb and pointer finger together ever so slightly and said " See where my fingers are touching? I love you everything outside of this". He smiled and went on his way.Later that day I got a text message from him that said simply 'ETOOT'. I was confused but only for a moment when I realized what it meant...EveryThing Outside Of This. That has kind of been our secret code ever since. We have made a game out of it over the years. We hide the word around the house in random places and wait till the other one finds it. My favorite thing to do is write it in the mirror after a shower and wait till he takes a shower and sees it later. That is how we know we are ok. There have since been two more children and many more stories. We've had ups and downs but we have made it. It's our memory and that night with that movie has gotten us through 8 years together and I'm sure it will get us through many, many more.
Halloween 2008: We're still 'attached'
The Story of Us
You have to see this movie
The Story of Us
Amazon Price: $8.99 (as of 12/23/2009)
This movie will make you laugh and make you cry. When it is over, you will understand why it made such a profound mark on our marriage. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.
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I love comments!
So leave me a blurb...I won't bite.
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Reply
- divacratus divacratus Oct 25, 2009 @ 3:25 pm
- What a story at that. Beautiful.
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Reply
- drifter0658 drifter0658 Oct 23, 2009 @ 2:06 pm
- ETOOT!
Smell the smoke of a burn-out blessing?
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Reply
- 24websurf 24websurf Oct 23, 2009 @ 12:36 pm
- As you know this a favorite of mine and a few others. I had to make my way back here and read it again. ETOOT soon became a word "we" used also. For blessing us with your friendship and love and for being so open and candid on this beautiful lens, I am very honored to say
~ Blessed by Squid Angel ~. May you have joy filled life together.
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Reply
- luvmyludwig luvmyludwig Oct 17, 2009 @ 7:38 pm
- This is beautiful! lensrolled to my true love story and my teen pregnancy lens. Blessed by a Squid Angel
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Reply
- Pastiche Pastiche Aug 14, 2009 @ 1:07 pm
- This is the story of keeping it together with understanding and love ... without communication you lose touch and relationships. That's very clear in this touchingly real love story. I wish 80 more years to you as a loving couple.
- Load More
About this lensmaster
Lensmaster j_barnhart4 has been a member since January 17 2009, has rated 619 lenses, favorited 74, and has created 92 lenses from scratch. Jessica Barnhart donates their royalties to Squidoo Charity Fund, A Day of Hope, and Diabetes Research Institute. This member's top-ranked page is "Beautiful Wreaths For Your Front Door". See all my lenses
My Bio
I am a Giant Squid, a Charity Mentor, a Squidoo Angel, and a Rocketmom. I am lucky enough to work from home by making money on Squidoo, SwagBucks, Chitika and Tagfoot. I have two blogs, My Name Is Not Mommy and A Cake A Day. I manage to juggle all of these things around being a sahm of three beautiful girls and the wife of the best husband in the world. My plate is full and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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