The Twits By Roald Dahl

The story begins by describing what vile and disgusting creatures the Twits are and the horrible tricks they play upon each other. However, their most awful schemes are saved for their pet monkeys and the local wild bird population.

The Muggle-wumps are a family of captive monkeys who are tormented by the Twits and forced to stand on their heads for the pleasure of the hideous pair. The local birds are the victims of Mr Twit's glue, ending up in his daily bird pie. However, one day a Roly-poly bird arrives and the monkeys and birds get their revenge on the Twits by tricking them into thinking that they were upside down and getting them to stand on their heads with glue upon them so that they end up glued to the ground and eventually disappear.

Horrible, nauseating, cruel and dirty: kids love it.

Mr Twit has the most disgusting beard in history with all sorts of putrid food items stuck within it. So vile is Mr Twit that he occasionally digs into this filthy larder to eat scraps of fish, cornflakes and cheese! For some reason, Mr Twit thinks that his horrible hairy beard makes him look dignified.

Mr Twit loves to eat bird pie! He goes out every day to apply glue to a tree in his garden and unfortunate birds get stuck on it and get pput into the pie. Spaghetti is another of his favourites and he so relishes it that he doesn't even notice when Mrs Twit puts worms in his helping of the meal. Disgusting Mr twit also drinks beer at breakfast and even considers eating some boys that get stuck on his bird glue.

Mr Twit enjoys playing cruel tricks on his wife, on one occasion putting a frog in her bed and telling her that it was a giant skillywiggler come to bite off her toes. Another of Mr Twits terrible tricks was to glue ticny pieces of wood to her walking stick every day so as to make it slightly longer. This tricks Mrs Twit into thinking that she is shrinking but Mr Twit offers a solution; use helium-filled balloons to lift her while her feet are tied to the ground, thus stretching her!!!! Evetually Mr Twit cuts the rope and Mrs Twit floats away.

Horrible.

Kids can have fun making a "Mr Twit's beard" here; Mr Twit's Beard.

Mrs Twit is the perfect wife for Mr Twit; hideously ugly, miserable, unhygienic and cruel. Mrs Twit was once a pretty girl but a lifetime of thinking ugly thoughts turned her into perhaps the world's ugliest beast of a woman. Mrs Twit has one good eye and one glass eye which she removes to scare people and as if that wasn't enough she always carries a cane which she uses to hit unsuspecting children and animals.

Mrs Twit enjoys playing horrible tricks on her husband just as much as her loves playing them on him and a couple recounted in the tale are the serving of spaghetti laced with worms and placing her glass eye in Mr twit's beer.

Disgusting.

These great Mr and Mrs Twit figurines can be purchased for £24.99 each from Rock Sensations.

The illustrations for The Twits were done by Quentin Blake who formed a famous partnership with Dahl, illustrating many of his books. Blake's style perfectly captures the vileness of the Twits, the innocence of the Muggle Wumps and the vigour of the Roly-Poly Bird.

Here are a few illustrations from the book.

For those that want to adorn themselves with the repulsive pair of The Twits, this badge is available from ByeGolly.co.uk.