When you're feeling stupid...
Washington, DC's trouble-plagued mayor Marion Barry is reported to have said that, "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
Whether he did or not, I have yet to confirm, but this famous quote is widely attributed to him from one end of the net to the other, so I decided to lead off with it, in the hope it would set the proper tone for this lens.
Take a few minutes now, won't you, and memorize his pearly words of, er, wisdom. The next time you're feeling really, REALLY stupid, recite these funny quotes for your friends.
You'll feel much better.
I promise.
"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?" (Marion Barry)
Whether he did or not, I have yet to confirm, but this famous quote is widely attributed to him from one end of the net to the other, so I decided to lead off with it, in the hope it would set the proper tone for this lens.
Take a few minutes now, won't you, and memorize his pearly words of, er, wisdom. The next time you're feeling really, REALLY stupid, recite these funny quotes for your friends.
You'll feel much better.
I promise.
"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?" (Marion Barry)
Holocaust Denier Kurt Knoll
The true face of Holocaust denial can be understood through the stupidity of its adherents...
"Go and read what Professor Faurisson has to say about dissecting the Holocaust. Could it be this was the reason why he was Assassinated twice."
Question: If you could live forever, would you, and why?
Beauty contest contestants have long been targets for comedians (or anyone else) looking for a quick laugh. Most of the time, the jokes were aimed at vapid remarks about world peace or ending hunger.Until this one appeared on the radar:
"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
Miss Alabama (Miss USA contest, 1994)
The mind boggles...
Mariah Carey
Extreme Diet Plan Rejected?
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."Attributed to Mariah Carey, who may have acquired her sense of social responsibility from Miss Alabama, or, perhaps, Brittany Spears.
Winston Bennett
University of Kentucky Basketball Forward
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields
during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign...
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Stupid Celebrities
by Petras.
Who Is the Dumbest Celebrity?
Pick One :-)
I know it's a tough call...
Loading poll. Please Wait...
Philadelphia Phillies Manager Danny Ozark
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." Al Gore, Vice President of the United States
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.""A zebra does not change its spots." (1991 and again in 1992)
185 Stupid Things Democrats Have Said
by Ted Rueter.
"We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
Dan Quayle
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."Sure, Dan, but can you spell "POTATO?"
Lee Iacocca
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" Joe Theisman
NFL Football Quarterback and Sports Analyst
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
The Big Curmudgeon: 2,500 Outrageously Irreverent Quotations from World-Class Grumps and Cantankerous Commentators
by Jon Winokur.
Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." Department of Social Services
Greenvilled, South Carolina
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." Keppel Enderbery
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." Mark S. Fowler
President Reagan's first FCC Chairman
Gotta love this quote:
"If someone has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
"If someone has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
Visit Beautiful British Columbia
Don't miss the 2010 Olympic Winter Games
George W. Bush
President of the United States
Here is an inspirational quote from the President:"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
449 Stupid Things Republicans Have Said
by Ted Rueter.
Bill Peterson
Athletic Director
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." Severely Normal on CafePress
When simply being normal isn't enough...
Maternity T-Shirt
Tell it like it is
Price: 34.19
White T-Shirt
Price: 19.19
Jr. Spaghetti Tank
Price: 22.09
Yellow T-Shirt
Price: 19.49
Fitted T-Shirt
Price: 20.79
Have You Ever Wondered What a Moron Looks Like?
Britney Spears
April 2004 - Blender Magazine
Britney has clearly earned her lofty reputation as one of the Stupid People..."I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."
Jessica Simpson
"Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken by the sea." Paris Hilton
"What's Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like wall stuff?"Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are driving down the highway in a convertible.
Lindsay knows that she's speeding so she asks Paris if there's a cop behind them. The Paris looks behind her and sees a cop and says "Oh shit. There is a cop behind us."
Lindsay says "That sucks. Are his lights on?"
Paris says "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No"
Spike Lee, Director
"I consider Madonna a friend, and she sure knows how to work the publicity machine. Of course, I don't have breasts. If I did have, I'd be in the number one spot over Madonna."Thanks for the Love Quote, Spike!
Bob Dole
Republican presidential candidate
"The internet is a great way to get on the net." Charles De Gaulle
former French President
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." Bob Dole
"The Internet is a gateway to get on the net." Alan Minter
Boxer
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." Yogi Berra
"Predictions are difficult, especially about the future." Reader Feedback
submit
-
Reply
- poddys poddys Nov 6, 2008 @ 9:06 pm
- Very funny lens, 5***** I am lensrolling this into my Daily Joke Lensography ands also adding it as a featured lens.
-
Reply
- Caseyfern Caseyfern Sep 3, 2008 @ 4:11 pm
- Priceless - glad to include in Lensmaster Soup!
But Wait - There's More!
Celebrities aren't the only weird ones out there, folks...
"Go and read what Professor Faurisson has to say about dissecting the Holocaust. Could it be this was the reason why he was Assassinated twice." (Kurt Knoll, Message-ID <3c962a6e_2@binaries.vphos.net>, Mar. 18, 2002, in UseNet's alt.revisionism
- Holocaust "Revisionist" Kurt Knoll
- "Leading Revisionist Scholar" Kurt Knoll's Rigid Adherence to the High Intellectual Standards Observed by Holocaust deniers is vividly outlined with this precise anthology of his more memorable "knollisms."
- How many ways CAN you say STUPID?
- This lens is dedicated to the terminally stupid. The vapid, the inane, the dense, the lame, those damaged units that at times vex us and amuse us ... or both!
I continually am coming across ways to describe these tests of patience and self control while having my tongue firmly embedded (perhaps permanently!) in my cheek.
This lens is to capture some of those more colorful and original ways to say ... "Damn! They is STOOPID."
- Stupid Celebrity Quotes
- Here's a great source with near-endless examples of ridiculous statements.
Great Stuff on CafePress
Walter Mondale & George Bush
"George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize." (Walter Mondale)"Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any time." (George Bush)
Pamela Anderson
I don't think about anything too much . . . If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!
"I'm much more than a pair of breasts. I represent success, hard work and fun!""It's great being blonde - with such low expectations it's easy to impress."
by kmcvay
I enjoy chatting with positive, intelligent people who are driven to succeed.
I'm a "work at home" grandfather of 8, cancer survivor, avid recreati... (more)
I'm a "work at home" grandfather of 8, cancer survivor, avid recreati... (more)
Explore related pages
So You Think YOU'RE Stupid, Eh? (Part 2)- When Senator Barbara Boxer reportedly said that "Those who survived the San Fran...
Why did the chicken cross the road?- Wikipedia explains that "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is one of the olde...
Puns Puns Puns- A friend sent me a letter which began like this: The roundest knight at King Ar...
