So You Think YOU'RE Stupid, Eh?

"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died - an entire town destroyed."

(The actual death toll was 12.)

"Over the last 15 months, we've traveled to every corner of the United States. I've now been in 57 states? I think one left to go."

"Thank you, Sioux City. ... I said it wrong. I've been in Iowa for too long. I'm sorry."

Fire Obama?

"Go and read what Professor Faurisson has to say about dissecting the Holocaust. Could it be this was the reason why he was Assassinated twice."

Beauty contest contestants have long been targets for comedians (or anyone else) looking for a quick laugh. Most of the time, the jokes were aimed at vapid remarks about world peace or ending hunger.

Until this one appeared on the radar:

"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

Miss Alabama (Miss USA contest, 1994)

The mind boggles...

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Attributed to Mariah Carey, who may have acquired her sense of social responsibility from Miss Alabama, or, perhaps, Brittany Spears.

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

Gotta love this one:

"If someone has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

Britney has clearly earned her lofty reputation as one of the Stupid People...

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."

"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

"What's Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like wall stuff?"

Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are driving down the highway in a convertible.

Lindsay knows that she's speeding so she asks Paris if there's a cop behind them. The Paris looks behind her and sees a cop and says "Oh shit. There is a cop behind us."

Lindsay says "That sucks. Are his lights on?"

Paris says "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No"

"I consider Madonna a friend, and she sure knows how to work the publicity machine. Of course, I don't have breasts. If I did have, I'd be in the number one spot over Madonna."

Thanks for the Love Quote, Spike!

"George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize." (Walter Mondale)

"Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any time." (George Bush)

"I'm much more than a pair of breasts. I represent success, hard work and fun!"

"It's great being blonde - with such low expectations it's easy to impress."

"I'm going to be honest with you, I don't know a lot about Cuba's healthcare system. Is it a government-run system?"

''If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there's still a 30% chance we're going to get it wrong.''

-Joe Biden, speaking to members of the House Democratic caucus who were gathered in Williamsburg, Va., for their annual retreat, Feb. 6, 2009

Please give So You Think You're Stupid, eh? a thumbs up, a Facebook Share, or Google+ bump or all three. You can find the icons just under the title. Many thanks.