Just when you thought they couldn't say anything dumber...
When Senator Barbara Boxer reportedly said that "Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again," she couldn't know she'd be providing the introductory example of celebrity addleheadedness for this funny quotes lens.
That's life in the fast lane, eh?
That's life in the fast lane, eh?
Contents at a Glance
Former US President Bill Clinton
"...I hope I never get into that... a love quote from the President...
"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."
Monica Lewinsky
"You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy." (upon seeing an excavated Inca mummy)
George W. Bush
We can always count on "W" to provide inspirational quotes...
"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
"It will take time to restore chaos and order."
Yogi Berra
This Baseball Legend was a regular source for funny quotes.
"Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do."
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
"It was pretty good. Even the music was nice." (After attending an opera)
"Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken." (to Johnny Bench)
Greg Norman
Golfer offers valuable life quotes to adoring fans...
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
The Way of the Shark: Lessons on Golf, Business, and Life
by Greg Norman.
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George Bush
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"I swear to drunk I'm not God"
Brooke Shields
..on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college.
"It's nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he'll bring a drill or something."
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Arnold Schwarzenegger
"I'll be back!"
"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
Groucho Marx
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."I had the pleasure of watching Groucho's quiz show, You Bet Your Life, every day after school. It's hard to believe that he could have been replaced, but he was... by a youngster named Johnny Carson.
You Bet Your Life was, and remains, one of the funniest shows on television.
Ultimate Groucho Marx: You Bet Your Life , Collection - The Best Episodes : Volume 1 (DVD)
New Homer Simpson Quotes
Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations
The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations
Mat Lauer
Today Show, NBC
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researches also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are." Jason Kidd
Dallas Mavericks
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." Dan Quayle
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.""I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future."
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
Lindsay Lohan
"How can you not like Britney Spears?"
"I am happy being able to play roles with people my age because once you do something really mature there is no turning back"
New York Times Photo
New York Times Photo
Reader Feedback
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- Lou1842 Lou1842 Apr 5, 2009 @ 4:54 pm
- Very funny *****
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- Signhappy Signhappy Jan 9, 2009 @ 9:36 pm
- Quite a chuckle. 5 stars!
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- KadabaCo KadabaCo Nov 6, 2008 @ 10:30 pm
- Ahhhhh ..... thanks.... I needed a good chuckle!
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- leemlz leemlz Sep 11, 2008 @ 6:04 pm
- Great lens. Killer stuff.
Great sites for stupid quotes
- 60 Dumbest Celebrity Quotes
- "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
RSS: Puns
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Fetching RSS feed... please stand byNew RSS: Why DID the chicken cross the road?
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- Magnetic Sponsoring
- "By implementing the things I learned in Magnetic Sponsoring (as well as Black Belt Recruiting, Traffic Formula, Building on a Budget, all of which I picked up immediately), I was able to FULLY replace my income from The Rich Dad Company within 23 days of getting started."
- Building on a Budget
- "The "network marketing opportunity" message I was promoting was the wrong message to begin with. Network marketing is a business of advertising and promotion pursued by people who have no idea how to do either, and I was the Poster Boy for that description at the time."
- Black Belt Recruiting
- "Another very important trait of successful entrepreneurs is that they very seldom follow the herd at anything. What I mean by that is they think for themselves and never follow the large crowd of people. The masses are not wealthy and successful, only a small percentage of people are."
by kmcvay
I enjoy chatting with positive, intelligent people who are driven to succeed.
I'm a "work at home" grandfather of 8, cancer survivor, avid recreati... (more)
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