Thoughts on Alzheimer’s

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Missing Mom in the Holidays

When someone you love has Alzheimer's, holidays like the Christmas season can be bittersweet. At this time of year, I am so thankful my faith assures me that I will see my family again in heaven. That doesn't mean I don't miss my mom today. What makes it bittersweet is that she is still alive. But the 'mom' part of her is more or less gone.

Now that this Christmas is behind us, I would like to find words to describe it though no doubt they will wander a bit. What I am feeling is a form of grieving. Pre-grieving I call it, much as you feel when someone you love is terminally ill over an extended time. And it's okay. It's a natural part of the process, both for Alzheimer's and a terminal illness. In each, you lose a part of the relationship--and the life--you expected, but months or years before death occurs.

At first I felt guilty with the feeling, selfish actually, but if someone reading this hasn't reached the same conclusion yet, I hope the thoughts written here will help. I do miss Mom. And part of that is for selfish reasons, wishing she could be there with understanding, loving eyes to comfort me when I need her. After all, she's my mother. I wish we could do the little things together like making cookies, Christmas shopping, fixing our big family dinner. I wish she would reach out to hug us. Yet our family is really lucky. We still get to hear her laughter, to see her smile and giggle often. I'm so grateful that part of her is still with us.

This isn't meant to be depressing. The sad feelings will pass soon. They always do. Our family has been dealing with her Alzheimer's for more than a decade. I am thankful and enjoy every day of the time we have with her.

Image courtesy of Martin Gommel at Flickr

Learn to Treasure Now

You don't get to go back

You go through so many stages as you adjust to the disease, starting with the forgetful moments, the repetitive conversations. Once in awhile Dad would get frustrated with Mom, telling her “you just said that.” It would be frustrating to anyone at times if that goes on all day. After a while though, you learn to go along with it and just respond as she would expect. I remember more than one conversation where she repeated, “Aren’t those pretty yellow flowers,” ten times in less than fifteen minutes. Looking back, it was her effort to remain the good hostess, to be sociable.

It’s interesting how your feelings will change. Now she doesn’t talk much at all, managing only occasional complete sentences. Another stage of the disease. Then you would like to go back and live those days all over again when she repeated herself. I’d happily listen to her to hear her sweet voice. Some days she will get chatty still. I love those days and try to call a sibling when she is like that so they can get in on the moment. It’s touching to see her engaged in a conversation.

What's Next is Next

Major attitude adjustments may be required

When you think you have come to terms with one stage, a new one will occur that once again stops you in your tracks. We are blessed that Mom always has been very agreeable and easy to get along with. She has tearful times, which break your heart, but is otherwise content. Some families aren’t so lucky. Anger, agitation, and sometimes paranoia come out as the disease progresses. Quite often these moods last only briefly and can be redirected.

As a daughter, I also feel fortunate. It must be much more difficult to have a spouse with the disease. Not only if they eventually don’t recognize you, but also if they attach to someone else in the home where they live. I’ve seen that happen a few times at my Mom’s residence. as a daughter, I can be happy for them, pleased that it makes them much more at peace, more content. But for a husband or wife to see their spouse holding hands with someone else is very difficult.

Hopefully they do reach some level of acceptance and realize that it isn’t a choice the resident makes deliberately. Their memories just seem to make them aware that part of them is missing, so they seek out someone for comfort. That is my observance and opinion only, mind you. I hope that if it happens, the spouse can adapt for the peace it brings their loved one. You can visibly see the calm fill their faces sometimes, just having someone to hold hands with.

My parents were married for seventy years before Dad died. Mom was used to having him there beside her. It must be similar for most residents. How strange and insecure it must feel to have that empty space without the memories that would normally fill it.

Spend some time with them

The more you see them the easier it is

For the family, it’s all about acceptance. And I'd say ninety-five percent of the time I manage it. I love visiting Mom, sitting with her, enjoying the other residents who are there with her. When I stop to chat with them, laugh with them, it brightens my day more than theirs. Seeing them talking to each other (often with neither speaking clearly), laughing with each other (without caring why) is a very sweet thing. They aren't invalids that are frightening, they are lovely seniors who have led very full lives, filled with both happiness and sorrow. If you get a chance to learn their histories, you'll be impressed and amazed. And don’t be afraid to be with all the residents. Mom prefers to be out with others rather than in her room. If we go there, she usually just dozes off. If we are out in the gathering area, she is involved, more likely to be engaged. That is more fun for both of us.

When a new stage hits, I still have those moments when it feels like my heart drops to my stomach. Breathe through it, let it sink in, and then cope. You will adjust. Sorry, but it will happen again and again during the course of Alzheimer's. Actually, it is pretty amazing how often–and how well–we do adjust.

If it happens in your family, I hope you don’t choose to avoid it instead. I hope you embrace their new lives and stay a part of them. The less you see your loved one the harder it can be. Not only that feeling of discomfort you may get walking through the door when visiting them, but also because it can make the changes in them harder to face.

You Have to Laugh

Laughter brings a sense of "I'm okay"

Laughter gets me through it. I have to laugh. Hopefully I'm not the only one. It is with such fondness, not at their expense. Finding the missing remote control up mom's jacket sleeve (after we had been looking for it for two days), seeing a resident wearing several pairs of pants (most I’ve heard is nine at one time), watching them enjoy a movie or playing a game. One day I watched a lovely lady trying to pour the remaining contents of a bowl onto her spoon. Perhaps a little mixed up, but nevertheless she was concentrating on it! Even watching them in a bad mood (not so funny if it is constant) is awfully cute knowing in a few minutes they will be happy and laughing again. I think it is important to enjoy them however you can. And to hear them laugh is honestly a delight.

Every so often though, at times like Christmas, it will hit me. I still miss the mom who would joke, laugh, comfort, hug, say whatever what needed to encourage us. Her children were so very lucky. Mom was very good at her job! She was always there for us, she took such good care of dad, she was full of love and caring. Now it's our turn to return the same. I'm thankful I am able-and want-to do it.

P.S. Today was a good day.

Mom was so cheerful today, while we talked about the pets we've had. She laughs so often, then will say 'shhhhh...' and laugh some more.

She is such a love, and I am so blessed to be able to see her anytime!

Any Thoughts or Suggestions?

Please share them--every idea helps!

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  • Brite-Ideas Jun 19, 2014 @ 9:29 pm
    Merry, my heart goes out to you and all those who have a loved one with this horrendous disease - I can't fathom this - it's my biggest phobia I think, to have someone I love not know you - really brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it - you are truly a wonderful daughter Merry to see the bright side in such a tough situation and to write about it for others to gain perspective and hope - maybe the worst thing would be to be the one who lives inside herself and doesn't recognize the people they love - we all know the famous quote 'God only gives us things we can handle' I only pray he realize that personally this would be too much for me - congratulations Merry, you really are an inspiration to those who find themselves in this situation...I'm sure of it. By the way, when you said "they are lovely seniors who have lived full lives" ...that was beautiful and very true (not everyone gets the privilege of growing old...so there's a positive in just that)
  • Merrci Jun 19, 2014 @ 10:29 pm
    Aww, thanks so much Brite-Ideas. I suppose that is one of the blessings. That is happens over time so you have time to get used to it as you go. It's amazing how strong the body is, staying alive, even when the mind has already gone. I appreciate you and your sweet comments.
  • grammieo Feb 13, 2014 @ 9:38 am
    Hope today is a good day! The sun is shining here!
  • Merrci Jun 19, 2014 @ 7:59 pm
    Thanks Grammieo! Nearly all are good days!
  • halloweencosplay Feb 05, 2014 @ 4:23 pm
    I know several older people with Alzheimer's. It's very sad, but if you're caring for them sometimes you just have to take one day at a time. Some days are good, others are horrible. That's been my experience as a caretaker and an observer.
  • Merrci Jun 19, 2014 @ 8:00 pm
    It's true, each day surely holds its own surprises! Thanks so much for sharing!
  • Graceonline Feb 02, 2014 @ 4:26 pm
    I am so sorry for the suffering you and your family endure as you navigate this terrible disease. For awhile, my mother-in-law knew she had Alzheimers, even trying to comfort ME when I cried because I could not get her out of the home in which she had always been terrified she would one day be placed. All my young married life, she had asked me to see that she never be put in a home. I told her I would do my best, but after the divorce, of course, there was nothing I could do or was permitted to do.

    As time passed, she would struggle, with ever more difficulty, to find ways to communicate that she knew who I was, even when she could not find the words to say so directly. She even managed to tell me a story the last time I saw her while she could still speak, and by listening very carefully, between the words and letting the pictures roll in, I began to understand what she was trying to communicate. When I finally understood and spoke the words, she smiled hugely, grabbed my hands in both of hers and nodded over and over again, tears in her eyes. She was so grateful that I got the message.

    I miss her and, like you, would love to hear her voice again, in her Norwegian brogue, see that sparkle in her eyes, watch her long fingers flutter with their sparkling rings.

    May you be blessed, again and again, in the most surprising and lovely ways, throughout this long, torturous journey.
  • Merrci Jun 19, 2014 @ 7:56 pm
    Thanks so much for your sweet comments Graceonline. I'm sorry it was so hard for you. We have to miss who they were, but can still delight in now, in their childlike pleasure in things.
  • WinWriter Feb 02, 2014 @ 10:36 am
    It's obvious this lens was written with a lot of love in your heart. My father passed away from Alzheimers and my whole family was devastated. He was always my rock growing up. I'm glad that I could help be a caregiver for him for awhile. Sending you a hug. Blessings to you. :)
  • Merrci Feb 02, 2014 @ 11:17 am
    Thanks so much for your comments WinWriter. And for the hug and blessings too!
  • susan369 Jan 28, 2014 @ 1:10 pm
    What a heart-warming article about this terrible disease. I particularly liked your paragraph about the importance of laughter to help cope with the situation. My uncle lives in a home with Alzheimer's. I don't know which is worse: the shock losing someone suddenly or having to watch them deteriorate over a long period of time.
  • Merrci Feb 02, 2014 @ 11:14 am
    Thanks for commenting. Both can be so difficult.
  • mel-kav Jan 27, 2014 @ 7:33 pm
    Wonderful lens. How difficult it is to watch someone you love suffer from Alzheimers. Hang in there! May the Lord bless you all.
  • Merrci Jun 19, 2014 @ 7:57 pm
    Thank you mel-kav.
  • VioletteRose Jan 25, 2014 @ 6:55 am
    This is really a very thoughtful lens, thanks for sharing.
  • Merrci Jun 19, 2014 @ 7:57 pm
    Thank you for commenting Violette Rose.
  • eva_writes Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:41 am
    No suggestions, but it was a very interesting and moving read.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:51 am
    Thank you!
  • NicoleRM Jan 23, 2014 @ 11:51 pm
    Thank you for this lens
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:51 am
    thank you for commenting.
  • ayusrilanka Jan 20, 2014 @ 10:40 pm
    Type 3 diabetes - the diabetes of the brain!

    Thanks for the lovely post.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:51 am
    Thanks for stopping by.
  • Enigmaa8 Jan 15, 2014 @ 12:11 pm
    Thank you for this heart felt lens. My grandma has just recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Your lens reminds me to be grateful of having my grandma with us and treasuring every moment.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:52 am
    Thanks Enigmaa8. I hope you are blessed with many of them.
  • LilMonkey Jan 13, 2014 @ 9:28 pm
    This is a beautiful lens. Thank you for sharing your story and your mother with us. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and my mother was 3000 miles away from her to have the relationship you are sharing here. It is sad she missed the regular time with her mother. I live minutes from my mother now so I can be there when she needs me.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:52 am
    It must have been hard for her! Glad you are nearby. Can't always be that way I know.
  • zakudomm Jan 13, 2014 @ 3:40 am
    Good
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:54 am
    Thanks!
  • 1angelsbestkeptsecrets Jan 13, 2014 @ 12:50 am
    Your lens is very touching and will help and comfort others who may be dealing with managing their own feelings with a loved one experiencing dementia or Alzheimers. You have a remarkable insight into this disease's stages, managing as well as you have for 10 years. Your love for your mom is so evident, it's heart-warming. May you have many more happy, good days with your mom.

    I lost a favorite aunt a year ago, and two other special relatives to this. Pre-grieving happens. I understand it's a roller coaster ride at times. Seeing a loved one who doesn't recognize you is especially sad---cruel to the patient as well as close family and friends.
    It's good to see a lens like yours sharing support. Best wishes on this journey with your Mom. Congratulations on LOTD.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:54 am
    Thanks so much for your comments.
  • d-artist Jan 13, 2014 @ 12:08 am
    Congratulations on LOTD! I'm sorry you have to go through this, but you know God is in control and whatever you experience is a learning lesson. My husbands mother and some of his sibling had Alzheimer's ... I'm glad we spent time with them, hard as it was, we learned patience.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:04 am
    Thanks so much for commenting.
  • Marti Jan 12, 2014 @ 9:58 pm
    My mother-in-law developed Parkinson's dementia which is similar to Alzheimer's so I understand the devastation it does to a family. Blessings to all who are caregivers and caring family members dealing with this.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:04 am
    Thank you for your thoughts.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:09 am
    Thanks for your sweet comments.
  • mbgphoto Jan 12, 2014 @ 8:45 pm
    Thank you for a wonderful lens. It sounds like you Mom is at a similar point in her Alzheimer's as my Mom is...some days are great...others very hard...especially when she is tearful..it breaks your heart.

    You have wonderful insight into dealing with loved ones with the disease. I agree that being among the other residents is a much better way to visit. I often bring small craft projects and gather a group of the residents together to make a simple craft. Something else I've found the women enjoy is cookbooks. I'll bring a few to look at and everyone browses through them and talks about things they used to cook.

    Congratulations on you LOTD.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:09 am
    Thank you so much mbgphoto! Tears are so hard!
  • hmommers Jan 12, 2014 @ 6:30 pm
    What a warm story. And how recognizable.
    Hugs.
  • gottaloveit Jan 12, 2014 @ 5:06 pm
    Your LoTD made me cry. I was just today talking about how lucky I was to have my wonderful mom with me after Dad died. Her personality changed also over the 5 years she was with me but nothing like you're experiencing. I do remember though 'missing' her even though she was sitting there beside me. I think that, when the time came to kiss her one last time, I had an easier time with grieving as I was already in the grieving process, as you note above. I hope and pray you will feel the same way. Hug and kiss your mom for me please.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:54 am
    Thanks so much for your comments gottaloveit. You've been there!
  • BeingStar Jan 12, 2014 @ 4:14 pm
    Very Informative! I'd like to share with a loved one who is going through similar trial with his mother at a young age! Great share!
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:55 am
    Thanks. I hope it helps him.
  • auroradreamergirl Jan 12, 2014 @ 2:52 pm
    I cry right now reading your lens. I know exactly how you are feeling and expressing. My granny has Alzheimer's and just recently got into the stage of forgetting who the people around her are. I currently don't live with my granny, but I hear from my mom all the time how she doing. It is hard for me to have to know my granny asks her daughter how do I know you and how they met. Also knowing that my mom has to explain how my papa, her husband died 5 years ago and that her sister died of the same disease she now has. I wish all the time the suffering could just end, but I end up just feeling selfish. I love her so much it is hard to realize she isn't the same history-buff granny I used to know. A therapist, I had at one point just told me that I need to just try and be in her world and realize the real world isn't how she sees it. It has helped me to cope with some of the strangeness that comes up.
    I will pray for your family and think of the points you listed when I am visiting with her. Thank you so much.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 10:57 am
    Thank you so much for sharing this with me. We just hope they are content where they are in their minds. It's true, just be there where she is!
  • vazzie Jan 12, 2014 @ 2:45 pm
    Congatulations on the LOTD! My mom also had Alzheimer's and I recognize much about what you say. Especially the pre-grieving! It is so true, you've lost part of her already and that part becomes ever larger. When my mom died, it was strange, because it felt as if the last part of hers had simply disappeared, now as well. It was as if she had died in steps, if you know what I mean.
    Great lens!
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:10 am
    Oh, thanks for sharing that Vazzie. Appreciate it.
  • Steve_Kaye Jan 12, 2014 @ 2:40 pm
    Congratulations on receiving the LOTD for this wonderful lens. Your candor and outlook are inspiring. I'm sure this will help many who have to manage similar situations.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:13 am
    Thank you Steve.
  • rauspitz Jan 12, 2014 @ 2:36 pm
    Very thought provoking lens. Congratulations on getting LotD!
  • StephenJParkin Jan 12, 2014 @ 1:38 pm
    Well done on the LOTD. Thjs is a particularly difficult disease for able bodied people to handle as it takes away so much of the person we thought we knew. You have done well to manage coping with your Mother for over 10 years. I have experienced it with a couple of my relatives and it is very hard to handle both for them and us that are trying to cope.

    Sharing stories such as this helps many as we tend to feel we are the only ones in this situation, at times like these.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:13 am
    Thanks so much for your comments.
  • StephenJParkin Jan 12, 2014 @ 1:38 pm
    Well done on the LOTD. Thjs is a particularly difficult disease for able bodied people to handle as it takes away so much of the person we thought we knew. You have done well to manage coping with your Mother for over 10 years. I have experienced it with a couple of my relatives and it is very hard to handle both for them and us that are trying to cope.

    Sharing stories such as this helps many as we tend to feel we are the only ones in this situation, at times like these.
  • RoadMonkey Jan 12, 2014 @ 1:17 pm
    Thank you for this. We may be dealing with this with an older relative in a few years time, we are at the "you just said that" stage!
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:14 am
    Ha--I think we all may be at that stage!
  • seedplanter Jan 12, 2014 @ 1:00 pm
    I can't think of a more meaningful lens for LOTD today. You've expressed your thoughts so well, and I applaud you. My uncle had Alzheimers and his sister, my mother, was diagnosed with it just a year before she passed. I share your faith, and it truly is a wonderful thing to know that we will see our loved ones again. My parents were married 58 years and they're together again now.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:14 am
    Thanks so much for your kind words!
  • serendipity831 Jan 12, 2014 @ 12:32 pm
    Congrats on LOTD! I enjoyed reading the story of your Mom and the struggles you face with Alzheimer's. Well done. Take care of you.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:16 am
    Thanks so much.
  • ItayasDesigns Jan 12, 2014 @ 12:31 pm
    I'm very glad you are learning to accept the pre-grieving process as you go through it. Thank you for sharing your story as well as the tips that have worked for you. I wish you many more moments of laughter with your mom.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:17 am
    Thanks so much for your comments.
  • calconcrete Jan 12, 2014 @ 12:21 pm
    My mother is 91 and I had to move her from her home to an assisted care facility in late 2012 since she couldn't live alone.

    She has dementia and probably early Alzheimers. She remembers things from decades ago but not necessarily from the morning or the last few weeks. At least she still remembers me.

    I've had to adjust to her foibles and take them with some humor. She sometimes says that she needs to go home to see her parents (who died 30 years ago), her husband (who died 8 years ago) and to seeing me coming home from school. I take it all in stride.

    Patrick
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:20 am
    Thanks so much for your comments.
  • lollyj Jan 12, 2014 @ 12:07 pm
    I'm back to say congrats on getting LOTD. Wonderful lens, well-deserved honor.
  • CNelson01 Jan 12, 2014 @ 11:23 am
    I am caring for my best friend, life partner and wife with Alzheimers. It is almost unberably sad but I know she is and will be safe in God's hands. Thanks for sharing your journey.
  • Merrci Jan 24, 2014 @ 11:23 am
    Thank you CNelson01. I hope you have many bright moments to soften the sad ones.
  • TedWritesStuff Jan 12, 2014 @ 11:22 am
    Been to the mountain.... only thing that we share differently is what happens in the afterlife.... guess we all have different ideas.. but pre grieving is a perfect summation..
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:34 pm
    Thank you Ted. Appreciate your comments!
  • partybuzz Jan 12, 2014 @ 11:00 am
    Thanks for sharing. I'm right there with you. My mom is always hiding things and not remembering where she put them. We're always searching for something in her room. I agree, you have to laugh. Congratulations on LotD!
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:34 pm
    They are pretty adorable!
  • Susan52 Jan 12, 2014 @ 9:49 am
    Back to say congratulations on the well-deserved Lens of the Day!
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:33 pm
    Thanks so much Susan!!!
  • Colin323 Jan 12, 2014 @ 9:46 am
    Alzheimer's Disease is the illness we - I - dread. Your lens reminds us to live for the moment with relatives affected, and to remember the love we feel - and have felt for them for in the past, and into the future.
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:33 pm
    Thanks for your comments! I agree!
  • OhMe Jan 12, 2014 @ 9:41 am
    My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers at 56 years of age and lived for 9 years with this awful disease. This was back in the 70's and it was hard to find any information about the disease and very few people had even heard of it. There have been so many advances and much more support available these days. I remember how much mom would enjoy singing. I can't carry a tune but that didn't seem to matter. Dad and I would sing songs with her and sometimes she was able to join in a little. We played old records from the Band Era and she seemed to enjoy that, too. I remember having such feelings of guilt especially if I failed to be as patient as I needed to be. Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on a well deserved LotD.
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:31 pm
    Singing is such a favorite! And it's so sweet how often they remember the words to the old favorites! Thank you so much for your comments.
  • grammieo Jan 12, 2014 @ 9:16 am
    Thank you for putting into words what many of us with elderly parents/relative are afraid to talk about. It helps and you have done us a great service. Thank you again! Great LoTD!
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:28 pm
    thank you for your kind comments!
  • ct_mom Jan 12, 2014 @ 8:44 am
    What a beautiful and inspirational lens. I wish more people would have the same approach/attitude when it comes to being there for a loved one with Alzhiemers.
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:28 pm
    Thanks Ct_mom. Me too--most residents glow when family visits.
  • ShirlW Jan 12, 2014 @ 7:34 am
    Thanks for sharing your sweet story. Congratulations on a well deserved LotD!
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:27 pm
    Thank you ShirlW!
  • esmonaco Jan 12, 2014 @ 6:59 am
    A truley wonderful story of caring and Love, Just back to say Congratulations on LOTD!!
  • Titia Jan 12, 2014 @ 2:40 am
    Thanks for sharing your story and Congrats on a well deserved LOTD
  • Merrci Jan 23, 2014 @ 12:27 pm
    Thanks for commenting!
  • The_Kelster Jan 10, 2014 @ 3:19 pm
    This is such an amazing lens. The feelings you feel are exactly how I felt about my grandma, although she passed a couple years ago. When you have someone in the family who has this, you thank God for the good days, and pray to God to help you through the tough days. Thank you for sharing this story :)
  • Merrci Jan 11, 2014 @ 10:03 am
    Thanks so much for your comments! I'm glad you could appreciate that time with your grandma. It's hard for kids to see their grands that way! Bless you!
  • smine27 Jan 10, 2014 @ 11:41 am
    Thank you for sharing this personal story with us. As I was reading, I could feel the love that radiates from you with every written word.
  • Merrci Jan 11, 2014 @ 10:01 am
    Thanks so much, Smine27!
  • AnuradhaM Jan 09, 2014 @ 2:07 am
    Great work from your side!! Sometimes we have to spend an entire life before we can see our dear ones...
  • Merrci Jan 11, 2014 @ 10:01 am
    Thanks of your comments.
  • lollyj Jan 08, 2014 @ 2:47 pm
    This is an excellent lens. Thank you for sharing your personal perspective. You're doing what's best for your mother -- love, kindness, gentleness, smiling and reminiscing. Bless you and yours.
  • Merrci Jan 09, 2014 @ 7:27 am
    Thanks for your comments!
  • Skaos3010 Jan 07, 2014 @ 6:32 pm
    Great lens. A family member has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers and knowing other people are going through the same thing can inspire some hope. I would do anything for my mother and it's nice to see this respect exists elsewhere in the world. Thank you!
  • Merrci Jan 09, 2014 @ 7:27 am
    Thanks so much for your comments. I hope the journey with your family member is filled with sweet moments.
  • TapIn2U Jan 07, 2014 @ 10:39 am
    Great lens! SO informative! Sundae ;-)
  • TapIn2U Jan 03, 2014 @ 9:32 am
    Love reading your lens. Sundae ;-)
  • kiwinana71 Dec 31, 2013 @ 8:50 pm
    Thanks for sharing this with us, I think you are doing a great job with your mother, so sad to see the deterioration of a love one, it helps to write your feelings down.
    Looking forward to you adding more to this article as the months go-by,it's great stress release for you, to continue writing..
    Wishing you all the best for the coming year
  • Merrci Jan 01, 2014 @ 8:34 pm
    Thanks for your always kind words Kiwinana71!
  • gardenlady Dec 31, 2013 @ 6:49 pm
    Thank you for this beautifully personal lens. I hope you are blessed with many more good days with your mom. I'd heard that losing your sense of smell is one of the 1st symptoms of Alzheimer's. I lost mine several years ago. Sometimes I can smell when I first wake up in the morning, but I quickly lose it.
  • Merrci Jan 01, 2014 @ 8:33 pm
    Thank you for commenting. I hadn't heard the sense of smell, but I have heard that the taste bud for sweetness is the last to go. It's fun to see everyone when dessert is served!

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