Toots - A Taboo Topic That's TOO Funny!

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To Some, They Offend. To Others, They Entertain

Toots. AKA: Farts, gas, regurgitated butt air.

To some they're a sense of foulness.  A topic best kept under wraps and never mentioned in public. But they're also SO funny! And horrifying all the same.

I don't know why they've always made me laugh, but I'm going to fill this lens with what's funny about toots and let you decide for yourself.

Me, personally - I've never tooted in my life. Ever. Because girls can't toot, you see. 

The Dutch Oven: For years, I lived in fear of getting married because as a young child, some hillbilly relatives of ours told stories of how Uncle BB would hold Aunt Florence under the covers and toot on her (both of them laughing about the event) and I vowed to keep a gun under pillow should that ever happen to me as a married woman!

(Note: Audrina of The Hills confessed this same thing happens to her with her boyfriend - do men think this is funny?)

Although I laughed about it, and laugh about them to this day - I want them nowhere near me!  I recoil in horror if someone toots in my vicinity.  So if you are ever in my presence and feel the need to pass gas, please take a dose of Beano and go on your merry way!

 

MythBusters - Do Pretty Girls Fart?

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Laughing About Toots in Public - Not a Good Idea! 

So I'm 19 years old and sitting at my boyfriend's house with his entire family (who I've JUST met) - his mom, dad, brother, and his girlfriend.

We're watching Turner and Hooch. It's quiet the whole time (not like my family who talks during movies constantly).

The scene comes on where Hooch toots in the office and no one knows who to blame. All of a sudden, I laugh out loud about it - but NOBODY else does!

It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and everyone looks at me like, "What is she laughing about?"

This makes me break out into a full-on giggle attack. Now I'm laughing because no one else is laughing about the toot. Not a very good first impression to make.

It Might Be Funny When a Baby Toots, But It's Grotesque When a Grown Man Does 

when babies are brought into this world, they often have tummy troubles. But for some reason, it doesn't offend us quite as bad as when a 50-year old man says, "Pull my finger!"

On Big Brother 8 this year, Evel Dick has showcased his talent for passing gas, much to the dismay of the entire rest of the group.

Sick and Wrong - Evel Dick of Big Brother 

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The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts (My Body Science)

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What Kind of Tooter Are You? 

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The Pooter - Hilarious! 

The Pooter Volume 4 FARTING IN PUBLIC!

http://www.thepooter.com You can purchase a Pooter at thepooter.net! The most realistic fart sound you have ever heard! You've been wanting another video so I made one!

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Fart Jokes 

What's the definition of bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

What happened to the blind skunk?
He fell in love with a fart.

What do you call a fart?
A turd honking for the right of way.

What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.

 

Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart

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Ode to a Toot 

Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat...the more you toot!
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So eat beans with every meal!

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by writertiff

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