To Some, They Offend. To Others, They Entertain
Toots. AKA: Farts, gas, regurgitated butt air.
To some they're a sense of foulness. A topic best kept under wraps and never mentioned in public. But they're also SO funny! And horrifying all the same.
I don't know why they've always made me laugh, but I'm going to fill this lens with what's funny about toots and let you decide for yourself.
Me, personally - I've never tooted in my life. Ever. Because girls can't toot, you see.
The Dutch Oven: For years, I lived in fear of getting married because as a young child, some hillbilly relatives of ours told stories of how Uncle BB would hold Aunt Florence under the covers and toot on her (both of them laughing about the event) and I vowed to keep a gun under pillow should that ever happen to me as a married woman!
(Note: Audrina of The Hills confessed this same thing happens to her with her boyfriend - do men think this is funny?)
Although I laughed about it, and laugh about them to this day - I want them nowhere near me! I recoil in horror if someone toots in my vicinity. So if you are ever in my presence and feel the need to pass gas, please take a dose of Beano and go on your merry way!
Laughing About Toots in Public - Not a Good Idea!
So I'm 19 years old and sitting at my boyfriend's house with his entire family (who I've JUST met) - his mom, dad, brother, and his girlfriend.We're watching Turner and Hooch. It's quiet the whole time (not like my family who talks during movies constantly).
The scene comes on where Hooch toots in the office and no one knows who to blame. All of a sudden, I laugh out loud about it - but NOBODY else does!
It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and everyone looks at me like, "What is she laughing about?"
This makes me break out into a full-on giggle attack. Now I'm laughing because no one else is laughing about the toot. Not a very good first impression to make.
It Might Be Funny When a Baby Toots, But It's Grotesque When a Grown Man Does
when babies are brought into this world, they often have tummy troubles. But for some reason, it doesn't offend us quite as bad as when a 50-year old man says, "Pull my finger!"On Big Brother 8 this year, Evel Dick has showcased his talent for passing gas, much to the dismay of the entire rest of the group.
The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts (My Body Science)
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What Kind of Tooter Are You?
The Pooter - Hilarious!
Fart Jokes
What's the definition of bravery?A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
What happened to the blind skunk?
He fell in love with a fart.
What do you call a fart?
A turd honking for the right of way.
What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart
Release Date: 03/01/2004
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Ode to a Toot
Beans, beans, the musical fruit.The more you eat...the more you toot!
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So eat beans with every meal!
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Do Toots Make You Laugh?
Mikey wrote
Farting is a lifestyle. I found a site where you can share your farts with friends.
http://www.fartfactory.com
Posted September 19, 2008
djeneralee wrote...
what is the dfinition of Fart?
Answer: Fart is a gas which comes from the arss
to indicate that sh*t is near.
Posted August 15, 2008
Sir Phartle Ott wrote
Absolutely Hilarous!
Posted June 23, 2008
chefkeem wrote...
I was just updating my poorest-performing lens on Joseph Pujol, the Fartiste - when I found your lens for some rolling (on the floor and over to my lens).
Why do lenses on "farting" perform so badly? It's the funniest of all subjects! 5*s
Posted May 30, 2008
BradKamer wrote...
Good Lens. I like your poll question too. This topic never fails to earn some laughs. Feel free to check out my lens dedicated to "tooting".
Posted April 21, 2008
DogWhisperWoman wrote...
Okay, nice work, Tiffany...But you're missing something. My farts are more like "Riiiiiip!" And I hate it! I can't exactly blame anybody. Smells different from the dog's, so he's in the clear!
Posted August 29, 2007
FESA wrote...
Hi Tiff - absolutely hilarious lens! Darned those 'double dog dares'! I'm still laughing - in fact, my sides hurt. I will certainly share this lens with the family and especially my grandson Bailey, who I know will be sure to share with all his friends. Great stress reducer too! Thanks Fran
Posted August 25, 2007
JohannTheDog wrote...
Hey Tiff, thanks for stopping by. I lensrolled you into my 'Poo' lens. We do go hand in hand, but be sure to wash up, K? --Johann
Posted August 24, 2007
lizthefair wrote...
very nice--and you might be surprised. My "silly" lens (lol cats) is beating the pants off of my serious ones.
Posted August 22, 2007
JohannTheDog wrote...
You can't say that this dog dared ya, BOL!!! Woof! Great lens, gotta tell ya, I've got one in the works on something 'dirty'. Stay tuned...Thanks for the fun!
Posted August 22, 2007
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