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Top 50 Worst, Most Boring Sight-Seeing Trips in America Part 2

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic (by 18 people)   Your rating: 1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic

Ranked #603 in Travel, #26789 overall

Rated G. (Control what you see)

Meet the Mundane Family (Again)

 

Now joined by a Great Dane named Rolf who adopted them in Missouri, our intrepid travelers stumble their way through the most breathtaking scenery our great country has to offer, without managing to see a bit of it.

Part Two takes them from Montana through Wyoming, not at all alphabetically.

Today we fine out the state mottos and add them into place. We're already many steps ahead of the Mundanes, aren't we?

(if you missed Part 1, don't despair... )

Montana 

State name: Spanish - mountain

Bob gets thrown by a horse. Amber attempts to saddle Rolf and ride across the Montana flatlands. Fred manages to stick a pine cone into the tailpipe of their car.

What'd they miss?
Last Chance Tour Train, Helena
Black Butte Outfitters, Red Lodge - 406-446-3097
Flathead Lake, Kalispell - 800-882-6363
(and, of course, Yellowstone National Park)

Bird: Western Meadowlark
Flower: Bitterroot
Song: Montana (or) Montana Melody
Rock: Yogo Sapphire, Agate
Motto: Oro y plata (Spanish: Gold and silver)

 

Even the most famous explorers relied on a knowledgeable guide. And nowhere will you find a more knowledgeable guide than The Ultimate Montana Atlas and Travel Encyclopedia. It would require almost a dozen of the top guidebooks on Montana to find the information contained in this single volume-and you still wouldn't have everything that is in this book!

The Ultimate Montana Atlas and Travel Encyclopedia, Third Edition

114 maps - 52 maps of towns and cities - Over 2,000 Restaurants - Over 700 Motels - More than 350 public campgrounds - More than 250 private campgrounds - 96 Forest Service cabins - Over 200 guest ranches and resorts - Over 200 bed and breakfasts - Over 250 vacation homes and cabins - Over 450 outfitters and guides - 130 airports - More than 225 fishing sites - and MUCH more.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Montana Hamper

Hamper measures 15 Length x 15 Width x 25 Height. Coordinates with Kidsline Montana crib bedding set. Kidsline offers a wide variety of Collections.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Nebraska 

State name: Omaha - flat river

Bob gets lost going in a straight line. Fred takes 421 pictures of fence posts. Hypnotized by the passing fence posts, Rolf devours a map then rolfs in the back seat.. $82 for veterinary bill + $22.35 for case of paper towels. $4.99 for new map.

What'd they miss?
Henry Doorly Zoo, Omaha
Fun Plex, Omaha
Strategic Air and Space Museum, Ashland

Bird: Western Meadowlark
Flower: Goldenrod
Song: Beautiful Nebraska
Rock: Blue Agate, Prairie Agate
Motto: Equality before the law

 

(Here's what Nebraska Life has to say:)
"First published in 1939, the Guide remains a good introduction to the state's history and geography. As a travel guide it is out of date, of course, but what was intended to aid the new breed of auto travelers now provides a detailed portrait of Nebraska life in the 1930s. Take this book along on your travels through the state and you'll see present and past simultaneously. . . . More than 60 years later, no Nebraska guidebook has duplicated this volume's eclecticism and level of detail, a work of interest both to historians and casual readers."-Nebraska Life

Nebraska (Second edition): A Guide to the Cornhusker State

This guide to the Cornhusker State brought together Nebraska writers such as Weldon Kees, Mari Sandoz, and Loren Eiseley. These respected authors created a remarkable compendium that includes chapters on the state's history, environment, peoples, flora and fauna, government, agriculture and industry, folklore, architecture, art, and literature. Rewarding reading for the armchair traveler and a companion for the tourist, Nebraska captures an era and makes accessible to readers information that is not readily available outside archives.

Amazon Price: $19.95 (as of 10/08/2008)

Nevada 

State name: Spanish - snow clad

Bob manages to lose Amber and Fred in the lobby of a major casino while trying to find a mens room. Amber wins $750 on quarter slots before being ejected for being a minor. Fred disrupts a blackjack table with a lint-laden half dead frog.

What'd they miss?
Secret Gardens, Las Vegas @ Mirage
Madame Tussaud's Celebrity Encounter, Las Vegas
Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area, SR 159

Bird: Mountain Bluebird
Flower: Sagebrush
Song: Home Means Nevada
Rock: Nevada Turquoise, Silver, Sandstone
Motto: All for our country

 

It's not just casinos and cheap buffets, Bob. But he'll have to do some reading to find out. Complete with details for enjoying food, hotels, casinos, hikes, and campsites in Reno, Tahoe, Pyramid Lake, and the entire state, Moon Handbooks Nevada gives travelers the tools they need to create a more personal and memorable experience.

Moon Handbooks Nevada (Moon Handbooks)

From the bright lights of Vegas to historic ghost towns and outdoor adventures, Moon Handbooks Nevada highlights the best the Silver State has to offer, both on and off the beaten path. Practical information includes suggested travel strategies and lists of must-see sights, plus essentials on dining, transportation, and accommodations for a range of budgets.

Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 10/08/2008)

Nevada-Reno Wolf Pack Replica Mini Helmet w/ Z2B Mask

The greatest miniature sports collectible ever invented! Approximately 1/2 scale versions of the full size helmets. ABS plastic shells with authentic-looking team decals.

Amazon Price: $22.99 (as of 10/08/2008)

New Hampshire 

State named after the county in England

Bob manages to run over a crowd of beginning skiers. Rolf manages to activate 22 car alarms as he skids out of control in the parking lot. Fred attempts to lick a lamp post. $95 in clinic fees + $7.50 for a single cup of coffee.

What'd they miss?
Mt Washington Observatory, North Conway
Fort Constitution, New Castle, Portsmouth
Storyland, Glen

Bird: Purple Finch
Flower: Purple Lilac
Song: Old New Hampshire
Rock: Smokey Quartz, Beryl, Corway Granite
Motto: Live free or die

 

There's a lot happening right under the Mundane family's noses. But just because they're missing out doesn't mean you should!

New Hampshire: An Explorer's Guide, Sixth Edition

Reviewed By Paulette Baker "Oz Music Fan" (East Lyme, CT USA)
The Explorer's Guide series provides in-depth travel information you can actually use, and the New Hampshire entry is no exception. Eating in good--not necessarily expensive--restaurants is a favorite part of my travel experience, and the authors' restaurant suggestions in the Lincoln/Woodstock area didn't steer me wrong.

Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 10/08/2008)

New Hampshire Wildcats Solid 10K Gold Seal 1/2'' Pendant

Show your team spirit everywhere you go with this New Hampshire Wildcats pendant. Officially licensed by the NCAA Made of Solid 10K Gold Custom made when ordered.

Amazon Price: $75.99 (as of 10/08/2008)

New Jersey 

State named after an English island

Bob takes a few dozen pictures of parking lots and garbage trucks. Bob loses camera to pair of burly men in polyester suits. Fred buys four-year-old Twinkies at gas station that 'only glow a bit in the dark.' $195 to replace camera + $27.50 for film + $1.05 for Twinkies.

What'd they miss?
Morey's Piers, Wildwood
Gillian's Wonderland Pier, Ocean City
Island Beach State Park, Seaside Heights

Bird: Eastern Goldfinch
Flower: Violet
Song: I'm From New Jersey
Rock: (do you know this one? message me!)
Motto: Liberty and prosperity

 

Odds are high that Bob won't make it as far as the Pine Barrens, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. Find the hidden treasures of New Jersey and avoid the Mundanes!

Hunter Travel Guide's The New Jersey Handbook (Adventure Guides Series) (Adventure Guides Series)

A detailed guide to every aspect of the destination: history, culture, foods, restaurants, hotels, sightseeing, things to do - written by an author who knows the place intimately.

Amazon Price: $16.99 (as of 10/08/2008)

Zippo "New Jersey Nets" NBA High Polish Chrome Lighter, 22617

Zippo "New Jersey Nets" NBA High Polish Chrome Lighter, 22617, New 2007 Model

Amazon Price: $21.00 (as of 10/08/2008)

New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico? New York? 

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New Mexico 

State named after the country south of border

Rolf topples a roof-height stack of genuine authentic Hopi blankets made in China, and the Mundane family is sent packin' by the new sheriff in town. Halfway to Tucumcari the family realizes Amber is still back at the Trading Post. $250 for blanket cleaning + $45 for gas to retrieve daughter.

What'd they miss?
Indian Pueblo Cultural Center, Abuquerque
Cliff's Amusement Park, Albuquerque
Loretto Chapel, Santa Fe

Bird: Roadrunner
Flower: Yucca Flower
Song: O, Fair New Mexico
Rock: Turquoise
Motto: Crescit eundo (It grows as it goes)

 

You'll never fall into the tourist traps when you travel with Frommer's. It's like having a friend show you around, taking you to the places locals like best. Bob should really have one for each state, and so should you!

Frommer's New Mexico (Frommer's Complete)

Written by a lifelong resident of New Mexico, this is an extraordinary and in-depth guide to this most intriguing corner of the American Southwest, written in an honest, personal voice. Come along with Frommer's and discover the galleries and innovative restaurants of Santa Fe, the glorious ski slopes of Taos, the stunning landscapes of White Sands National Monument, the wacky legends surrounding Roswell, and the wondrous subterranean world of Carlsbad Caverns. It's all here, in true Frommer's style, with practical tips, detailed maps, and a wide choice of accommodations that will suit any taste or budget.

Amazon Price: $12.91 (as of 10/08/2008)

New York 

State named for Duke of York

Bob's vehicle is stopped by NYPD vehicle driven by the cousin of the New Jersey polyester suits, and Bob is directed to take the rest of his family vacation elsewhere.

What'd they miss?
Schaghticoke!, and be sure not to miss it yourself!
Seabreeze Park, Rochester
Henry Hudson Observatory, Albany

Bird: Bluebird
Flower: Rose
Song: I Love New York
Rock: Garnet, Black Button Tourmaline, Moonstone, Hematite
Motto: Excelsior (Ever upward!)

 

New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission (New York, NY) is the agency responsible for identifying and designating local landmarks and historic districts. Established in 1965 in response to the destruction of the original Penn Station, the agency is comprised of eleven members appointed by the mayor and a professional staff.

Guide to New York City Landmarks

The official and only complete guide to New York City's landmarks, this beautiful Third Edition has been updated to include 128 new individual sites and sixteen new historic districts. Mayor Michael Bloomberg opens this treasure trove of historical discovery with an elegant Foreword.

Amazon Price: $21.86 (as of 10/08/2008)

North Carolina 

State named after King Charles I

Rolf rolfs in car after nine hours of driving in choking humidity. Amber puts bare foot on Frog, and freaks. $40 for car wash and laundromat + $6.50 for rolls of paper towels and car deodorant.

What'd they miss?
NCMLS Museum of Life & Science, Durham
Jungle Rapids, Wilmington
Carowinds Amusement Park, Charlotte

Bird: Cardinal
Flower: American Dogwood
Song: The Old North State
Rock: Granite/Unakite
Motto: Esse quam videri (To be rather than to seem)

 

This is the third edition of this comprehensive guide to the entire Tar Heel State. In this volume, Bob will find information about historic places, gardens, tours, museums, science centers, cultural offerings, special shopping, recreation, and seasonal events.

Travel North Carolina: Going Native in the Old North State (Travel North Carolina)

Reviewed by Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA)
Now in an completely updated and significantly expanded third edition, "Travel North Carolina: Going Native in the Old North State" is a comprehensive guide written by Carolyn Sakowski, Sunny Smith Nelson, Anne Holcomb Waters, Angela Harwood, John Tarleton, and Sue Clark, a team of longtime residents of the Tar Heel State. Black-and-white photographs illustrate this compendium with sections organized by geography, listing seasonal events, places to eat, historical sites, museums and science centers, inns and bed-and-breakfasts, and much more. Enthusiastically recommended for business and pleasure travelers alike, "Travel North Carolina" is an essential planning guide to get the most out of a trip to this diverse and fascinating state from an afternoon's outing, to a weekend getaway, to an extended vacation.

Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 10/08/2008)

North Dakota 

State name: Sioux - united allies

Fred is physically removed from gift shop after feeding Rolf approximately $40 worth of packed lutefisk. Amber tries a fleischkuechle and immediately demands a cheeseburger.

What'd they miss?
Raging Rivers Water Park, Mandan
Roosevelt Park & Zoo, Minot - 701-857-4166
Theodore Roosevelt National Park, Medora - 701-623-4466

Bird: Western Meadowlark
Flower: Wild Prairie Rose
Song: North Dakota Hymn
Rock: Teredo Wood
Motto: Liberty and union, now and forever, one and inseparable
(and)
Strength from the soil

 

North Dakota is vastly more than the 'cold and flat' label most new visitors put on it. Bob needs some educated guidance, and here it is!

The Dakotas Off the Beaten Path, 6th (Off the Beaten Path Series)

The Dakotas have been known to cast a spell on locals and visitors alike. Discover the magic of the Dakotas at an outdoor bandshell concert, with a visit to a museum dedicated to woodcarving, or by stopping at a showplace for Arabian horses.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

North Dakota State Bison Perennial Hooded Sweatshirt - Small

Your team can always count on you, and you can count on this warm North Dakota State Bison Hooded Sweatshirt for enduring value. Features team name and/or logo boldly screen printed on chest.

Amazon Price: $35.99 (as of 10/08/2008)

Should the word South be removed from South Dakota? 

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Ohio 

State name: Iroquois - good river

Amber pretends to choke on a cheddar biscuit at Cracker Barrel. Bob gets weird looks from gas station attendant by asking for directions to Drew Carey's house. Rolf eats map. $4.99 for new map.

What'd they miss?
Cedar Point Amusement Park, Sandusky
Great Lakes Science Center, Cleveland
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame & Museum, Cleveland

Bird: Cardinal
Flower: Scarlet Carnation
Song: Beautiful Ohio
Rock: Ohio Flint
Motto: With God, all things are possible

 

There's much more to do in Ohio, Bob. This completely revised and updated edition features a range of special-interest itineraries in Ohio, such as an Underground Railroad tour, a Presidents' Path tour, and more. Each listing includes an estimate of how long it takes to visit each sight, making it simple to plan a trip.

Ohio Travel Smart (Ohio Travel-Smart, 1st ed)

Reviewer: A reader
I grew up in Ohio but returned recently for an extended visit and wanted to explore some places I had never been. I used this book as my guide and was delighted to find so many beautiful and interesting places as as result.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Ohio State Buckeyes Tailgate Party Pack

Features hot sauce, picante salsa and barbecue sauce.

Amazon Price: $24.99 (as of 10/08/2008)

Oklahoma 

State name: Choctaw - red man

Fred and Frog spend 150 miles singing Ooooh-klahoma duet with Rolf howling harmony. Amber pouts until Bob agrees to pull into every rest stop across the state. $9.95 for paper towels and upholstery spray to clean up dog slobber.

What'd they miss?
National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum, Oklahoma CIty
Oklahoma Aquarium, Jenks
Bricktown Canal, Oklahoma City

Bird: Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher
Flower: Mistletoe
Song: Oklahoma (yep, that one!)
Rock: Barite Rose
Motto: Labor omnia vincit (Labor conquers all things)

 

Bob and crew are missing some great opportunities. See the Tom Mix Museum in Dewey, experience Panhandle humor on a cattle drive in Boise City, or tour a World War II submarine in Muskogee. Oklahoma offers many unique and entertaining destinations for visitors and residents alike.

Oklahoma Off the Beaten Path, 5th (Off the Beaten Path Series)

Tired of the same old tourist traps? Take the road less traveled and discover the hidden attractions, unique finds, and unusual locales other guidebooks just don't offer. Off the Beaten Path® features the things you'd want to see-if only you knew about them! From the best in local dining to quirky cultural tidbits, you'll say over and over again: "I didn't know that!"

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Oklahoma State University Logo Trailer Hitch Cover Plug

Fits 2 inch receivers only. Cast in durable, non-corrosive alloy with hard enamel colorfill. Fifteen second installation. Spring steel wire insert secures the hitch cover to the receiver with hitch pin lock (hitch pin lock not included).

Amazon Price: $19.95 (as of 10/08/2008)

Oregon 

State name: French - hurricane

Bob throws a fit over not being allowed to pump his own gas. Fred and Amber get dizzy counting highway signs. Frog plots his escape into forest north of Grants Pass but is hunted down and retrieved by Rolf. Good doggie. Nice doggie. Quit chewing on Frog, doggie.

What'd they miss?
Portland Classical Chinese Garden, Portland
Pioneer Courthouse Square, Portland
Malibu Grand Prix, Beaverton

Bird: Western Meadowlark
Flower: Oregon Grape
Song: Oregon, My Oregon
Rock: Sunstone, Thunderegg
Motto: Alis volat propriis (She flies with her own wings)
and
The Union

 

Oregon is a study in complete contrasts, from the eastern side of the Cascades where my grandmother was born (John Day, OR - 1904), to the emeralds of the coastal range and craggy shores. Bob is going to have to work hard to remain blind to all that!

Moon Oregon (Moon Handbooks)

In this seventh edition of Moon Oregon, Elizabeth and Mark Morris return with the energy and excitment they brought to previous editions. Making sure you will have the best time possible in Oregon this guide covers all corners of the "Beaver State," all the way from big buildings of downtown Portland to Umpqua Hot Springs.

Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 10/08/2008)

Bob's Red Mill Whole, Dry Roasted Oregon Hazelnuts, 10-Ounce Packages (Pack of 6)

To your good health. Our hazelnuts are grown in roasted in Oregon, home of the most plump and flavorful hazelnuts in the world. Eat them whole or chop them into cereals, breads, muffins, cookies, and salads. You can see our quality. Bob's Red Mill is the most unique flour mill in the Northwest. We use century old stone grinding equipment to freshly mill whole grain products.

Amazon Price: $43.02 (as of 10/08/2008)

Pennsylvania 

State name: Quaker Penn's woodland

Rolf freaks out over horses. Fred freaks out over Rolf freaking out over horses. Amber wants a pony. Bob wants to raise a barn. $49.95 for chocolate + $5.95 for roll of paper towels + $3.99 for box of handi-wipes.

What'd they miss?
Independence National Historical Park, Philadelphia
Hershey's Chocolate World, Hershey
Phipps Conservatory, Pittsburgh

Bird: Ruffed Grouse
Flower: Mountain Laurel
Song: Pennsylvania
Rock: Trilobite
Motto: Virtue, liberty and independence

 

Bob is missing out on a state rich in historical flavor that's downright headspinning. The number and variety of Pennsylvania's outdoor recreation areas make the great outdoors available to everyone, whether your inclination is toward backpacking on miles-long wilderness trails, spending the day on a quiet lake, or enjoying nature from the comfortable confines of a carpeted cabin.

Moon Handbooks: Pennsylvania 2 Ed: Including Pittsburgh, the Poconos, Philadelphia, Gettysburg, and the Dutch Country

Celebrate the diversity of Pennsylvania as Joanne Miller guides you along scenic back roads to thriving cities, leaving no area unexplored. This handbook provides rich details on the history and culture of one of the country's first colonies, with emphasis on Dutch Country and Gettysburg. It also lists exciting recreation opportunities in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and 116 state parks.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Pennsylvania Dutch Old Fashioned Shoofly Pie Mix

Originated by the Pennsylvania Dutch in colonial America, before the first harvest settler's wives created the first shoofly pie from their limited provisions. They created a three-layer pie with gooey bottom, cake-like middle and light crumb topping. When they left the freshly baked pies out to cool, the distinctive name was coined.

Amazon Price: $17.45 (as of 10/08/2008)

Planning 'n Planning 

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Rhode Island 

State named after the Greek island

Bob misses Rhode Island. Twice. Three times. Four times. Rolf rescues Frog from drowning. Twice. Three times. Four times. Frog escape unsuccessful. Amber whines that beach is too rocky.

What'd they miss?
Rhode Island School of Design, Providence
Purgatory Chasm State Park, Middletown
Bannister's Wharf, Newport

Bird: Rhode Island Red
Flower: Violet
Song: Rhode Island It's For Me
Rock: Bowenite, Cumberlandite
Motto: Hope

 

Bob misses Rhode Island a few times before finding it. No reason you should have to, though. Just pick up this guide for a surprising look at what's found in this gem of a state.

Rhode Island: An Explorer's Guide, Fourth Edition

Good things certainly do come in small packages, and Rhode Island has something for everyone. Tour the luxurious mansions and historic neighborhoods or surf and swim off the beaches of Newport; celebrate Fourth of July in Bristol, where the entire town is decked-out in red, white, and blue; explore the museums and the Riverwalk in Providence's revitalized downtown area; or enjoy a drive through the farmlands and villages of rural South County, all within about an hour's drive of anywhere within the state.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Rhode Island Anchormen "RI" Pendant - Sterling Silver Jewelry

The image shown is representative, the item that will be shipped to you will be the same design but in Sterling Silver. You often see shirts, caps and jackets that feature logos from your favorite collegiate and professional sports teams.

Amazon Price: $28.00 (as of 10/08/2008)

South Carolina 

State named after King Charles I

Amber decides "y'all" is the funniest word in existence and repeats it for two hours. Fred and Frog battle Rolf for back seat supremacy. Bob considers taking up golf. $250 for used golf club + $5.99 for roll of duct tape + $2.50 for bucket at driving range + $49.95 for glove + $9 for cart + $75 for doctor + $19.95 for heat wrap for back

What'd they miss?
Brookgreen Gardens, Myrtle Beach
Carolina Safari Jeep Tours, Myrtle Beach
Alligator Adventure, North Myrtle Beach

Bird: Great Carolina Wren
Flower: Yellow Jessamine
Song: Carolina
Rock: Amethyst, Blue Granite
Motto: Dum spiro spero (While I breathe, I hope)
and
Animis opibusque parati (Ready in soul and resource)

 

So Bob wouldn't know southern hospitality if it bit him in the neck. (Why are we not surprised...) You, on the other hand, can golf at the best golf resorts on the Grand Stand, explore Charleston's cobblestone streets, or experience the nightlife of Columbia's Five Points or Myrtle Beach.

Moon South Carolina (Moon Handbooks)

Suggested travel strategies and lists of must-see sights provide you with real insights so you can decide where you should go, stay, and eat-without hassles or regrets. Mike details where to hike, bike, shop, ski, fish, and more. Complete with maps, photographs, illustrations, and special emphasis on leading destinations such as Bookgreen Gardens, Huntington Beach, Fort Sumter National Monument, Hunting Island, South Carolina State Museum, The Horseshoe, Congaree Swamp, Whitewater Falls, and Mountain Bridge. Moon South Carolina has all the tools for you to create your own unique trip.

Amazon Price: $15.96 (as of 10/08/2008)

South Carolina, Gold Plated Silver Charm by Rembrandt Charms

Please note that product images are Enlarged To Show Detail. The actual item is 0.7875 inches wide. The Flat charm is Hand-Polished with a High Polish finish. Every Rembrandt charm comes with a heavy-duty jump ring that can be twisted open and easily attached by you. All Rembrandt Charms are guaranteed for life.

Amazon Price: $22.00 (as of 10/08/2008)

South Dakota 

State Name: Sioux - united allias

Bob gets arm out of cast. Motorcycle boot-shaped bruise beginning to fade. Note for next trip: inform kids that just because motorcycle line looks like dominos does not mean they should be pushed like dominos. $45 for dent puller to fix car bumper + $4290 on Visa for bike repairs

What'd they miss?
Bear Country USA, Rapid City
Mount Rushmore National Monument, Rapid City
Evan's Plunge Indoor Water Park, Hot Springs

Bird: Ring-Necked Pheasant
Flower: Pasque Flower
Song: Haill, South Dakota
Rock: Fairburn Agate, Rose Quartz
Motto: Under God the people rule

 

While Bob recovers from his ill-timed venture, perhaps you should look into a better guide than the Mundanes will ever find.

Insiders' Guide to South Dakota's Black Hills and Badlands, 4th (Insiders' Guide Series)

From sweeping mixed-grass prairies, to thick evergreen forests on some of the oldest mountains in North America, to rock faces delicately carved by erosion and man, South Dakota's Black Hills and Badlands is a region distinctive for its breathtaking landscapes and its ties to western frontier history. This authoritative guide will show you how to navigate the state's Northern, Central, and Southern Hills, from the small prairie town of Belle Fourche to bustling Rapid City.

Amazon Price: $12.89 (as of 10/08/2008)

South Dakota State Jackrabbits Solid 10K Gold ''JACKS'' Rabbit Pendant

Show your team spirit everywhere you go with this South Dakota State Jackrabbits pendant. Officially licensed by the NCAA Made of Solid 10K Gold Custom made when ordered. Please allow 1-2 weeks for delivery.

Amazon Price: $81.99 (as of 10/08/2008)

Tennessee 

State name: Cherokee - village

Bob takes 218 pictures of alley graffiti. Fred physically removed from Nashville music store for opening guitar string packs and using contents to set up trip wires in the CD section. $38 for guitar strings + $849.95 for damages to autographed Fender

What'd they miss?
Memphis Zoo, Memphis
Rock City, Lookout Mountain
Civil Rights Museum, Memphis

Bird: Mockingbird
Flower: Iris
Song: Rocky Top Tennessee (among others)
Rock: Tennessee Pearl, Agate
Motto: Agriculture and commerce

 

Bob, listen to this reviewer before going much further:

Reviewed by Scott Williams (Wausau, WI USA)
We recently completed a trip to Eastern Tennessee and brought along several guidebooks. After a few days, it became apparent that one guidebook was head and shoulders above the others: Moon Handbooks Tennessee by Jeff Bradley. It is both comprehensive and concise. It contains lots of local color without drowning in it. And it is spot on in its evaluation of sights. (We didn't have any occasion to use it for lodging or food.)

Moon Handbooks Tennessee (Moon Handbooks)

From the live music in Nashville to Civil War Monuments and hiking in the Smoky Mountains, Moon Handbooks Tennessee is the guide to the best the state has to offer, both on and off the beaten path. Practical information includes suggested travel strategies and lists of must-see sights, plus essentials on dining, transportation, and accommodations for a range of budgets. Complete with details for binging on the best barbecue, paying tribute at Graceland, and a host of outdoor activities, Moon Handbooks Tennessee gives travelers the tools they need to create a more personal and memorable experience.

Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 10/08/2008)

How Do You Pack? 

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Texas 

State name: Indian - friends

Bob discovers difference between a longhorn and a greenhorn. Bull-shaped bruises fading, ribs mending. Note for next trip: pack ACE bandages. $75 to clinic + $75 for ACE bandages + $75 for painkillers + $75 for fence repair

What'd they miss?
Dallas World Aquarium, Dallas
SeaWorld, San Antonio
River Walk, San Antonio

Bird: Mockingbird
Flower: Bluebonnet
Song: Texas, Our Texas
Rock: Topaz, Petrified Palmwood
Motto: Friendship

 

Oh, Bob. Silly Bob. You're missing so much of Texas by not reading up in advance, and the place is so dang big that you're more likely to miss almost everything by failing to get a great guide book before setting out.

Frommer's Texas (Frommer's Complete)

Reviewed by Shannon Deason:
I found this guide to be quite thorough when it came to the major cities, granted it is not exactly a Rick Steves guide to Texas, but it did hit upon the most popular attractions and it got Dallas and Houston about right and I am very familiar with both cities, I really know very little about West Texas so I'll defer to the other reviewer on the guides shortcomings on accomedations and such out there, but if you are going to Austin, San Antonio, Houston, or Dallas-Ft. Worth, I think you will find this guide helpful, and easy to read.

Amazon Price: $13.59 (as of 10/08/2008)

Utah 

State name: Navajo - upper

Bob and Fred take a few dozen pictures of a barbed wire fence south of Salt Lake City. Amber tangles self and new hooded sweatshirt into fence. Frog goes missing for several hours. $8.99 for scissors + $3.99 for box of bandaids + $23.99 for new hoodie.

What'd they miss?
Bryce Canyon National Park, Utah
Seven Peaks Waterpark, Provo
Brighton Ski Resort, Brighton

Bird: California Seagull
Flower: Sego Lily
Song: Utah, We Love Thee
Rock: Topaz, Coal
Motto: Industry

 

I've been to Utah many times. Unlike Bob, I've taken time to prepare for any event and weather, including heavy winds that have nearly taken my motorcycle off Hwy. 15 south of Salt Lake City. This is one of those guides no Utah traveler should be without.

Moon Handbooks Utah (Moon Handbooks)

Moon Handbooks Utah helps you find all the information you need, whether you're seeking the perfect day hike in Zion National Park, the best biking routes near Moab, or the newest restaurants in Salt Lake City. The updated, easy-to-use format makes it simple to snowboard the Wasatch Front or discover historic Old West Pony Express stations. The full range of activities and accommodations, from campgrounds to luxury resorts, includes great options for every budget. Authors Bill McRae and Judy Jewell provide insight into Utah's spectacular terrain and unique history, plus coverage of the state's top recreation and entertainment. Outdoor enthusiasts will find essentials on Zion, Bryce, Capitol Reef, Arches, and Canyonlands National Parks, plus Utah's seven national monuments. Complete with accurate, up-to-date contact information and plenty of photographs and helpful maps, Moon Handbooks Utah is the ultimate guide for a satisfying travel experience.

Amazon Price: $14.21 (as of 10/08/2008)

Vermont 

State name: French - green mountain

Bob attempts to tap maple for syrup. Maple is pine. Amber feeds 20 maple sugar candies to Rolf. Rolf rolfs, predictably. $19.95 for maple sugar + $20 to shop owner to offset cleaning charges. $10 to owner of pine tree + $40 to replace dented bucket and tap

What'd they miss?
Shelburne Museum, Shelburne
Bragg Farm Sugarhouse, Montpelier
Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Factory, Waterbury

Bird: Hermit Thrush
Flower: Red Clover
Song: Hail, Vermont
Rock: Talc, Grossular Garnet, Granite, Marble, Slate
Motto: Freedom and Unity

 

My folks took a colors tour of Vermont and its surrounds as part of their 50th Anniversary celebration, and brought back some of the most gorgeous photographs I'd ever seen. Bob - take a lesson from my mom, and plan ahead!

Vermont: An Explorer's Guide, Eleventh Edition (Vermont: An Explorer's Guide)

Reviewed by Lou Ann Herda (Houston, TX):
This review is from: Vermont: An Explorer's Guide (Paperback)
About six months prior to my husband's and my trip to Vermont, I purchased Tree & Jennison's book and poured over its contents, intrigued by all that the New England state could offer these Texans. Because the authors had taken the time to visit the various locations noted in the book, I had no worries about the trip. Once in Vermont, I used the book as a bible, knowing what to expect in each village. I met many of the people that they had mentioned, and each had glowing remarks about them. Without this book, my vacation would not have been as organized or enjoyable, and we even went during Mud Season! I recommend this book wholeheartedly because the information is well researched.

Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 10/08/2008)

Vermont Maple Leaf Charm - Sterling Silver

A charm is a sentimental journey you can hold in your hand to relive precious memories recall special occasions for a lifetime. It is the classic collectible. No other gift captures a moment as clearly as a fashionable and affordable charm. Celebrate life with this miniature work of art. Charm available in Sterling Silver Gold Plate 10K Yellow Gold and 14K Yellow Gold.

Amazon Price: $18.00 (as of 10/08/2008)

Virginia 

State name honoring Queen Elizabeth

Fred discovers Smithfield smoked Virginia ham. Rolf discovers Smithfield smoked Virginia ham. Bob discovers Smithfield smoked Virginia ham. Amber sulks and declares she will not eat Charlotte! $9.95 for cheeseburger for picky daughter

What'd they miss?
Old Town, Alexandria
Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science, Virginia Beach
Byrd Theatre, Richmond

Bird: Cardinal
Flower: American Dogwood
Song: Carry Me Back to Old Virginia
Rock: Chesapecten Jeffersonius (fossil)
Motto: Sic semper tyrannis (Thus always to tyrants)

 

(The Bookwatch says:)
"Recommended for visitors who want to research a trip ahead of time and take the book along for repeated reference. Covers the parks, scenic highways and historic attractions of the state, including tips on everything from shopping and dining to hotels and entertainment. An excellent destination guide." The Bookwatch

Bob. The key word is Research.

The Virginia Handbook

Reviewed by Hello Kitty Ellen (Hollywood, CA)
This review is from: The Virginia Handbook (Hunter Travel Guides) (Paperback)
This guidebook does a good job of presenting its information in a concise, meaningful way. You can easily flip through its well-marked sections and feel as if you are taking a trip all over Virginia! I like that each section (History, Shopping) starts with a quick intro, telling you the overall feel of that area. It's not afraid to tell you that one city is more known for its nightlife while another is known for its shopping malls. The beginning of the book includes an overall look at Virginian history, major cities, climate, major roadways and wildlife - great information for newcomers to have!

Amazon Price: $15.59 (as of 10/08/2008)

 

Well, at the very least, Bob has good taste. See for yourself as a special holiday treat or a gift that will keep your friends talking for an entire year. These are not as dramatically salty as the original Smithfield, which is a welcome change for my blood pressure.

Smithfield Premium Country Boneless Half Ham

These milder flavor hickory smoked hams are a second cousin to the Genuine Smithfield ham, the curing process has been shortened for a milder, less salty flavor. Aged to perfection for a minimum of three months.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

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Washington 

State named after George

Fred finds banana slugs. Rolf eats banana slug. Amber gets sick watching banana slugs. Bob takes pictures of broken fence. Lots of pictures. $4.95 for paper towels + $5.99 for Pepto-Bismol

What'd they miss?
Underground Tour, Seattle
Pacific Science Center, Seattle
Fort Vancouver National Historic Site, Vancouver

Bird: Willow Goldfinch
Flower: Coast Rhododendron
Song: Washington, My Home
Rock: Petrified Wood
Motto: Al-ki (Chinook: By and by)

 

Now this is my stompin' grounds, home state, home turf, from the fog-blanketed coastline to the searing heat of the eastern borders. Bob missed so much by watching only the broken fence, believe me.

Moon Handbooks Washington (Moon Handbooks)

The classic guide to the Evergreen State, Moon Handbooks: Washington leads you to the Olympic Peninsula's lush rain forests and long sandy beaches, glacier-clad Cascades summits, friendly eastern Washington towns, and the urban delights of Seattle. Author Don Pitcher helps readers hike on Mount St. Helens, whale-watch at Westport, shop at farmers markets, enjoy the best brewpubs and coffeehouses, and experience city nightlife. He also includes details on intriguing and offbeat destinations, such as the graves of Chief Seattle and Jimi Hendrix, and the Bavarian-style village of Leavenworth. "The best guidebook I've found is the well-written Moon Handbooks: Washington." -- The Washington Post

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Fuji Apple Crate 

A lovely decorative crate holds sixteen of Washington's finest Fuji apples. A practical gift that reminds your friends of the mouth watering apples long after their last bite.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

West Virginia 

State formerly part of Virginia

Bob decides to take up bluegrass banjo. Rolf sings along. Fred finds Frog cowering in side pocket of backpack and eating lettuce from stowed ham sandwich. Banjo 'left' at rest stop after 400th verse of Oh Susannah. $125 for used banjo + $9.95 for finger picks + $2.95 for ear plugs, set of three

What'd they miss?
Blackwater Falls State Park, Davis
New River Gorge, Charleston - 304-574-2115
Valley Worlds of Fun, Fairmont - 304-366-2500

Bird: Cardinal
Flower: Rhododendron
Song: The West Virginia Hills (or) This is My West Virginia (or) West Virginia My Home
Rock: Lithostrotionella
Motto: Montani semper liberi (Mountaineers are always free)

 

It's not all banjo music and barbecue, Bob. Next time out, hopefully the Mundanes will have found this gem of a guidebook.

West Virginia Off the Beaten Path, 5th (Off the Beaten Path Series)

Whether you're a visitor or a local looking for something different, let West Virginia Off the Beaten Path show you the Mountain State you never knew existed. Visit the mummies of Philippi in Barbour County, take an underground tour through a vintage coal mine, hike the backcountry of the pristine Cranberry Wilderness, or ride a steam locomotive up Cheat Mountain to see stunning foliage displays. So if you've "been there, done that" one too many times, get off the main road and venture Off the Beaten Path.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Nike West Virginia Mountaineers #10 White Replica Football Jersey

Cheer on your team with this replica jersey from Nike!

Amazon Price: (as of 10/08/2008)

Wisconsin 

State name: Indian - grassy place

Pool-cue shaped bruises fading from inadvertent mixup in location. ACE bandages replaced after inadvertent mixup in washing machine. Bob swears he does not recall shouting GO VIKINGS. $19.95 for ACE bandages + $34.50 for replacement of Cheesehead hats

What'd they miss?
Bristol Renaissance Faire, Kenosha
Christmas Mountain Village, Wisconsin Dells
Betty Brinn Children's Museum, Milwaukee

Bird: Robin
Flower: Wood Violet
Song: On Wisconsin
Rock: Ruby, Galena, Red Granite
Motto: Forward

 

Oh Bob. Poor Bob. If only you'd known more about where you were traveling to, you'd know that Cheeseheads are Wisconsin, Green Bay Packers fans and fanatics, and since they're the only football team owned by their community, they take this football stuff very very seriously.
Here. We'll prove it.

Moon Handbooks Wisconsin (Moon Handbooks)

From the charm of collegiate Madison to the beauty of the Wisconsin Dells and Apostle Islands, Moon Handbooks Wisconsin is the guide to the best the state has to offer, both on and off the beaten path. Practical information includes suggested travel strategies and lists of must-see sights, plus essentials on dining, transportation, and accommodations for a range of budgets. Complete with details for enjoying food, drinks, bed-and-breakfasts, hikes, and campsites around Milwaukee, the Great Lakes, and the entire state, Moon Handbooks Wisconsin gives travelers the tools they need to create a more personal and memorable experience.

Amazon Price: $15.42 (as of 10/08/2008)