Deal with loneliness as an expat spouse

To all my fellow trailing partners out there, do you ever feel just that twinge of loneliness just after he leaves? Both you and I are used to the short stays and long departures of our better halves who bash through the corporate wilderness on frequent overseas business trips.

Very often, we assume that relocating the whole family overseas would eliminate being apart, but most find the case to be the opposite. Many staff who are hired overseas tend to play regional managerial roles that require business travel.

We're grown women who can handle learning a foreign language and wade through murky waters of an alien culture with steely determination, but even seasoned warriors get a little weary sometimes. How do you deal with the initial wistfulness until it gives way to practical, daily life?

This is a slightly embarrassing topic to touch on, but I believe it's something many trailing spouses go through. Even if this isn't a concrete list of "how-tos", the aim of this article is to share a voice in a tough situation: you live in a foreign country with few or no friends and family. You may not work, which makes the days or weeks your spouse is away feel even longer and torturous.

Here's what I found to be highly soothing and therapeutic in the first 24 hours of my partner's departure:

Put on your domestic goddess hat: vacuum, change the sheets, do the laundry and anything to get things in order, so you feel organized and less inclined to lay around and feel sorry for yourself.

Cook up a good meal, preferably something he doesn't like (in my case, something pungent, fishy, or spicy) to remind myself that it's good to have some time apart and do the stuff you like.

Chat to a friend or two online to get some laughs and forget your solitude.

Exercise wards off depression. Your seratonin levels are kept at a cheery high and loud, pumping electronic tunes help, too.

Focus on work or your children. If you don't work, get serious about a hobby or two. Volunteer work is also a great avenue for doing something worthwhile and making use of all that restless energy.

Keep to a regular, comfortable routine to create a feeling of familiarity.

Tune into comedy central - even if you feel blue, turn on the TV to make you laugh and forget you were wallowing in self-pity.

Remind yourself that you need me-time. Whip out the scary beauty tools or mud masques to primp and preen.

Indulge in a glass of wine if you have trouble sleeping. It sounds pathetic but one of the things that many coupled folk find difficult is turning in alone.