Let's Hear It for the Birds!
Hey everyone! Tom here, coming to you from my new home in Minnesota. I received a Tweet from my faithful turkiatrist, Dr. Helpa Byrd, who suggested it was time I update my faithful support team.
Without her gentle counsel, I would probably still be hunkered down behind Farmer's barn, waiting for the axe to fall
But hey, look at me now, folks! I'm free and happy and doing my phenomenal duty for humanity. You could even say I'm a green turkey, because my :::cough-cough::: contribution to the power plant here in Benson, Minnesota is humongous.
My supervisor Twittered me this morning with good news: My contribution is above average,and get this: I may be in for a promotion soon. They're going to raffle off tickets for 10 free line-dance lessons. Ah, the beauty of supply-and-demand!
Consider this lens my group hug, my Hello, World!, and my salute to turkeys-in-bondage everywhere, who have not been afforded the opportunity to serve their country in the great state of Minnesota. Let's hear it for the birds!
Now, back to work. I'm punchin' a time clock, y'know. If I beat my own personal best, I'll get three days off. Hey, that's enough time to meet my cousins for brunch down at the fast-food parking lot. How sweet is that?
It feels good to be a working bird without the nightmare of Farmer's axe hanging over my life.
Peace out...
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Weather Report from the Pen
...it's enough to make me do the turkey trot
Profound Thought #1
Turkey, unlike chicken, has very elegant characteristics. It has more of a cache than chicken. Turkey is a delicacy, so it should be presented in such a way."
- Todd English
Dishes I Dream About
(**Add your favorites, willya?)
So last night a few of us cronies were sitting around shootin' the breeze, when one of them posed this pithy question:
"What do you miss most about your life back behind Farmer's barn?"
I shook my head to open up my thinkin' module. It had to be the smells, I told him. Luscious breakfast, dinner, and lunch smells wafting from the kitchen window. Back in those days, I'd belly-crawl over to the side wall, slip behind the hedge, and press my face against the fogged-up glass.
Well, folks, deep thinking always makes me sleepy, and in less time than it takes to pluck a feather, I had fallen into a trancelike state. When daylight broke across the Benson, Minnesota horizon, I awoke with a start and scratched images from my dream on a fencepost for future generations to enjoy. Sort of like turkeyglyphics, dontchaknow?
Speaking of turkeyglyphics, I found a link to my ancestral roots on a gigantic boulder, thanks to a hieroglyphics detective agency online. Have a looky-here:
Pineapple-Cheese Salad
Yummers.0 points
Baked Spiced Butternut Squash
It's the cinnamon, Stupid.0 points
Acorn Squash w/cranberry-wild rice stuffing!
Farmer's favorite...0 points
Braised Brussels Sprouts
Stop makin' that face! These are seriously good.0 points
Scalloped Corn
This one really turns my gobble loose.0 points
Profound Thought #2
Nothing is ever as gloomy as it first appears. That is, unless you see someone preparing cornbread stuffing. (RUN!)
- Minnesota Tom
Confession from the Bird
There.
I've said it.
I wanted to say it before I left for Minnesota, but you had such huge, sad eyes. You crept past my house in your noisy cars and pickups, but when I'd look your way, you wouldn't even wave.
All except for the kid who wanted to kidnap me. She was a dear.
I want you to know that I appreciate all the letters you wrote to Congress on my behalf. I know the picket signs 'round the Capitol helped, too. But please...would you stop faxing FEMA? I think they have their hands full, and I wouldn't want them taking their annoyance out on my cousins, who are in hiding until the holiday season is past.
How can anyone deck the halls when they're barraged with Save-the-Turkey email? I want to assure you, it isn't necessary. You have done all you could do, and my employer thanks you.
Now...back to my job.
If you stumbled into this lens, you may not have read my entire stressful saga. Noooo? You humans! You multitask and skip from headline to headline. Please, I beg of you...GO BACK to the beginning. Read what I've been through, for turkey's sake!
(Disclaimer: I will not be responsible for elevated blood pressure or heart palpatations. Proceed at your own risk! Bring Kleenex...)
Turkey's Last Stand
Turkey's Manifesto
Turkey's Turkiatrist
Turkey's New Job
Speak Your Mind
Think Turkey!
...Amazon gifts for the table...
Profound Thought #3
Be proud of what you do in life. Hey, I never thought I'd be fueling a power plant in Minnesota, but oh well. Sure beats an oven.
- Minnesota Tom
Baby Turkeys!
Baby Turkeys Hatching
Baby turkeys are noisy!
Baby turkeys, 3 weeks old
Ponderings from my Pen
1. We turkeys are committed workers. It seems almost surreal that I, a turkey of simple means and ordinary roots, am providing a patriotic service without fear of the roaster. The good people of Minnesota can thank me for the electricity that heats their oven and switches on their lights. Poop for power. What a concept!
2. Progress is a comfortable disease. OK, you're right; I didn't say that, but Thoreau did. And I've been wondering...Will they eventually take us birds for granted once the novelty wears off? I mean, when I get too old or too tired to provide that much you- know-what, will they platter me?
3. This is not the job of my dreams by any means, and it's not for the fainthearted. But I am thankful. But hey, what's with those complainers who call that radio talk show about the smell? I beg your pardon?!?
4. Don't hate me, but here's a revelation. After all my rantings and ravings, I miss life behind the barn. (Wipe that condemning look off your face!) It was Home and I grew attached to the daily routine, alright? I dream of retiring there someday, once I'm too old for this patriotic duty.
5. I found a heart-shaped rock and thought of you. If turkeys could blush, I would be the color of ketchup.
Leave a Footprint
Joan4 wrote...
Tom, I am so glad you found a job - any job is better than the ax! I hope you find another more fulfilling. Keep imaging!
Posted November 27, 2008
naturegirl7 wrote...
I love the crafts and wish Tom much happiness in his new job. Welcome to the Naturally Native Squids group. Don't forget to add your lens link to the appropriate plexo and vote for it.
Posted November 25, 2008
chefkeem wrote...
Hi, Tom! I really love all the nifty little CSS tricks on your lens, and you seem to need all the blessings you can get...good luck, bud!
Posted November 05, 2008
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