Why Twilight Isn't Just A Stupid Teen Fad

Twilight Stalker: Have a Twilight Fund so that when they find something Twilighty, they can buy it. Walls painted black and red with posters of Edward, Bella, and Jacob plastered everywhere, even on the mirror. Pray to the Twilight gods daily. Are formulating a plan to kill Rob's bodyguards so that they can hook up with the Hollywood hottie. P.S.: If this description fits you, do me a favor and go see a psychiatrist.

Twilight Lover: Fans of Twilight, pre-movie. Read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse before Breaking Dawn came out. Have Twilight posters and have read the books multiple times. Have seen the movie three or four times. Would like very much to be featured as an extra in Eclipse. Begged their parents to let them go to the midnight release of Twilight, even if they didn't end up going. Would fight ten dragons in order to get Stephenie Meyer's autograph, shake her hand, and talk to her for an hour (afterwards, probably going unconscious for a day or so). Mildly obssessed. (This is where I fit in on the scale.)

Twilight Follower: Read the books and saw the movie. Liked the books, but the movie didn't have anything for them. Don't honestly care where it goes from now; to them the whole thing is just a saga of a few good books that they read once. Might like to meet Stephenie Meyer, but wouldn't faint if they shook her hand.

Twilight Sheep: Are obssessed with Twilight just because their friends are and the actors are all over the front page of People. Would like to have a supporting role in Eclipse because scouts might be watching. Generally, don't like Twilight at all, really just like the hype.

Twilight Neutral: Didn't see the movie. Didn't read the books. Don't care. Have no clue if they're good or bad and have no opinion of Twilight or its fans/haters.

Twilight Pretender: Likes Twilight a lot but pretends not to, so that they're "different". Secretly has a picture of Edward/Bella on their nightstand.

Twilight Scrooge: Doesn't hate-hate Twilight (hate-hate being the opposite of like-like), but doesn't like the image it presents and complains about the effect of it on modern-day society.

Twilight Hater: Hates Twilight, the negative effect of a Stalker. Would kill a bodyguard in order to kill Rob Pattinson, possibly. Thinks Stephenie Meyer writes terribly and bought a DVD of the movie just to crush it into a million pieces and then burn it. I would recommend a psychiatrist for this stage, as well.

10. Some people, like the idiots they are, complain that the "movie characters don't do the hotness of the book characters justice!". Yeah, like that would ever happen in real life! I doubt there is a person on the planet that looks exactly like everyone's image of Edward Cullen.
9. "Stephenie Meyer is full of herself because she's so famous!" Stephenie Meyer is a good and honest writer. She's written another good book called The Host, which is just as good as the Twilight series. But don't get the wrong idea because you don't like Twilight, because it really is good. Check out Stephenie's website: www.stepheniemeyer.com. The webmaster is her brother, Seth, and together they've put together a good site.
8. "It's a teenager's book!" Oh, really? Look anywhere you want. People who are twenty, thirty, forty, even eighty have read the books and, mainly, enjoyed them. Unlike some old, geezerly Twilight Scrooges that I won't mention. Anyway, it's not just a teen book. People from ages 10 to 110 love the Twilight series, not to mention the movie. But there are just too many people who love it because it's "popular". To those Twilight Sheep out there: love it because you like it, not because Kristen Stewart is in People Magazine.
7. "Everyone's so perfect!" Variation: "Bella is such a Mary Sue!" If you don't know what a Mary Sue is: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue. Well, yeah. For one thing, they're mainly vampires. For another thing, how many books have you read in which the authors try to get you to dislike the characters? I mean, I've read one or two, but honestly. Most characters are either going to be perfect, or have "endearing" flaws. Deal with it. That's how books are.
6. "It just seems too perfect." Wow. Okay, Reason A: It's a book and most books have "happy endings". Reason B: What do you want to happen? The world to blow up and everyone die? Reason C: Pessimistic much?
5. "It's sexist and feminist. Bella is always protected by Edward and doesn't do anything for herself." Well, I certainly hope you read Breaking Dawn, because she saves Edward there. And yes, it is pretty much just Edward in the first book, but in the second and third book there are other parties to help her. Bella has a choice, but she doesn't take it. She's like Joan of Arc, except Joan fell in love with a vampire and a werewolf, both at once, and then has to choose between the two while fighting off the vampiric law enforcement and rogue nomad vampires who want to suck her blood out of her veins. Well, maybe not quite like Joan of Arc, but close.
4. "Edward Cullen is such a stalker!" Well, yeah, he is. But a lot of lovers are stalkers, you know. Haven't you ever experienced following a cute boy or a pretty girl through the hallways, even if it isn't the way to your next class? Haven't your eyes ever wandered over to your crush? Everyone is a bit stalker-ish, it's just that Edward shows it more than most. Hey, I didn't say Twilight was perfect... but I did say that Twilight was a good series.
3. "It's inappropriate for young girls and boys!" Well, hello, Mother. The first book gives some little kids nightmares in the ballet scene, it's true, but that's easily dealt with: don't give Twilight to a five-year-old. The second book may not be advisable for those with depression, but it's not that bad. The third book is a little graphic - again, don't give to toddlers. And the fourth book isn't violent. It's just more attuned to older kids, ages about twelve or so. And don't start yelling about the birds and the bees and birth, because if kids know about it then they honestly don't care.
2. "It's just not a good book!" Well, if that's your view, then stop reading right now. You obviously don't care, if it's not a good book.
1. "I want to be different! I don't want to like everything that other peopl like!" Yeah, well, real fans feel the same. Once upon a time, Twilight wasn't a movie and wasn't a fad and wasn't a thing to put on T-shirts even if you didn't have any clue what it was. Once upon a time, it was a good series of books that was well-liked by those that read them. But tell me, before the movie came out, did those of you that are Twilight Scrooges even know who Jacob Black was, or Stephenie Meyer? By the time Breaking Dawn came out, there was more and more excitement over it, and soon the previews - oh, horror - came out on several DVDs. Fans got hyped and soon more fans became fans, and it ended up that the whole world had suddenly found out about Twilight and its "actors". The truth is that most true fans don't care about the actors. They care about Bella and Edward and ****** (sorry, spoiler for those who haven't read Breaking Dawn) and about their world, because that's what faithful readers do. Books with emotion in them spread the emotion to their readers, and the readers feel happy or sad or whatever they're supposed to feel when they read it. And heck to the actors, for all I care, though I may say that they're doing not such a bad job of recreating one of the best ideas in history.