Unconditional Parenting is a book by Alfie Kohn. Unlike the vast majority of parenting books on the market, Kohn's work is based on research.
Kohn's ideas have served as a kind of yardstick for me as I read a myriad of books on parenting and disciplining.
Even as I am still evaluating his conclusions, I keep the studies he reports on in mind as foundations of my explorations into child discipline techniques.
Kohn's ideas have served as a kind of yardstick for me as I read a myriad of books on parenting and disciplining.
Even as I am still evaluating his conclusions, I keep the studies he reports on in mind as foundations of my explorations into child discipline techniques.
What is Unconditional Parenting?
- Unconditional Parenting 101
- This article from Suite 101 by Barb Hacker covers the basics nicely and concisely.
- Sneak Peek at the Book
- Preview Alfie Kohn's book Unconditional Parenting on Google Book Search.
What are the benefits of unconditional parenting?
The great thing about Alfie Kohn's ideas is that even if you just consider some of the things he proposes, you may see the family dynamic change in a positive way. At least, that was my experience.His theories are challenging, and caused some cognitive dissonance for me, after observing my own behavior. First I observed behaviors and patterns in myself and family I hadn't noticed before. Then I naturally altered my own behavior.
I am still trying to absorb and evaluate Kohn's basic theory and knowledge. I guarantee if you read him, or go see him speak, you will spark a few neurons to cross a few synapses in your little gray cells.
Get your feet wet slowly with this great DVD
This DVD of Alfie Kohn giving a lecture is a great way to be introduced to his ideas. I watched it twice over the course of several months before checking the book out from the library.
Unconditional Parenting
Amazon Price: $29.95 (as of 11/26/2009) 
Buy this book from Amazon
This is Kohn's classic, but he has many other books touching on the ineffectiveness of rewards and punishment, and other aspects of schools, education, and human behavior. See The Work of Alfie Kohn for more information.
Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
Amazon Price: $9.89 (as of 11/26/2009)
Clip of Alfie Kohn Lecturing
Alfie Kohn on Punishment
curated content from YouTube
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What do you think about Unconditional Parenting?
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- Mica_K Mica_K Aug 10, 2008 @ 4:33 am
- Guiding is such a great task parents do. I also fall back to losing my patience when it comes to disciplining teens. If I think before I act, things are alright. Symbols of my childhood remind me that I once was a child. Then, things get better. Alright, time to watch the video!
Great lens!
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- lorablood lorablood Aug 10, 2008 @ 1:37 am
- Thanks for the comment, I.C.
It is amazing how often I find myself using a "carrot or stick" approach (well, not a stick, but some mild threat like, "if you don't do x you can't have y"). I usually fall back on these approaches when I am desperate to "get" my child to do something. But the simple fact is we can not "make" other humans do things, we can only guide them. That is just one of the lessons I've learned from this book.
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- icjackson icjackson Aug 9, 2008 @ 7:54 pm
- Very interesting topic, and a very interesting lens. I would love to see what you add to this in the future.
I think there is a place for both reward and punishment as well as love and reason. I think there is room for both. However, just the fact that someone has addressed the fact that reward and punishment is not the only way to discipline a child is a step in the right direction.
Thanks for this :-)
by lorablood
I'm a former grrl rocker, now an AP mama with a beautiful three year old. My interests include Information Architecture, Web 2.0, Social Networking, L... (more)
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