Unique Unmentionables

Frankly, these firey fiends wondered why no one had invented a pair of inflatable long-johns for dragons that can't swim.

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Image Credit: Illustration posted January 3, 2012 in johnshelley.blogspot.com/newyear2012cream

Do you want to be a "Snuggy Somebody" or a "Pantaloon Princess"?

What are the words you associate with underwear? Protection? Warmth? Modesty? Cleanliness? Support? Shaping? Exaggeration? Status? Making a Statement?

Well, if you have no words to describe those comfortable closeted culottes and catch-alls...then you better have a great body image to display them if you want a job as an underwear model.

Underwear modelling is an equal opportunity career...so if you're between 18-30, with a rather fine physique or beautiful curves, who doesn't mind posing for a photo shoot or strutting down a runway in stillettoes...this might just be your 15 minutes of fame or more!
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Image Credit: bcanada92@flickr.com

BLOOMING BOUNTY FOR A SUCCESSFUL ANONYMOUS BIDDER:

November 2, 2011: Wire services around the world report that a rather fine pair of silk bloomers once worn in the 1860s by much beloved British monarch, Queen Victoria, fetched almost $15,000 US at a recent auction.

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Image Credit: kids-bookreview.com/qv_underpants_book

"The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing." -- Johnny Depp

"If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would come back as a 38 double-D bra." -- Jesse Ventura

"I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear." -- Woody Allen, American actor, author, screenwriter, film director

"A newspaper reported that I spent $30,000 a year buying Paris clothes and that women hate me for it. I couldn't spend that much unless I wore sable underwear." -- Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (1929-1994), American First Lady, Former Wife of U.S. President John F. Kennedy

"In department stores, so much kitchen equipment is bought indiscriminately by people who just come in for men's underwear." -- Julia Child (1912-2004), American chef, author and television personality

"I don't get sent anything strange like underwear. I get sent cookies."
Jennifer Aniston, American actress

"From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first." -- Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956), German poet, playwright, and theatre director

"I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out." -- Dolly Parton

"Whenever you're sitting across from some important person, always picture him sitting there in a suit of long red underwear. That's the way I always operated in business." -- Joseph P. Kennedy (1888-1969), American businessman, ambassador, diplomat, and father of U.S. President John F. Kennedy

"Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows." -- Helen Nielsen (1918-2002), American actress

"A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally." -- Lillian Day (1893-1991), American novelist, biographer and playwright

"Power is not something that can be assumed or discarded at will like underwear." -- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006), Canadian-born American economist

"I do have a lucky pair of underwear." -- Brendan Fehr, Canadian-born actor

"This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me." -- Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004), American comedian

"Underwear should be worn on the inside" -- Nancy Cartwright, American actress

"I have had fans make me the big picture collages of the photo books; I have had fans send me birthday cakes... sing to me on my voicemail. I have had fans flash me. I have had older fans give me their bras and underwear onstage." -- Sean J. Combs (aka "Puff Daddy", "P. Diddy", "Diddy") American record producer, rapper, actor, men's fashion designer, entrepreneur and dancer

"On a good night, I get underwear, bras, and hotel-room keys thrown onstage... You start to think that you're Tom Jones." -- Keanu Reeves, Canadian-born American actor

"The truth is, I'd never seen a Cary Grant film. Since then I have watched his stuff and it's astounding, but I don't see any similarity between us. Except for the fact that I'm told he used to wear ladies' underwear, which is something I also do." -- Hugh Grant, British-born American actor

"Underwear makes me uncomfortable and besides my parts have to breathe." -- Jean Harlow (1911-1937), American film actress

"I'm superstitious... but not like wear the same underwear for two weeks superstitious." -- Kate Hudson, American actress

"You can tell a lot about a person from his underwear." -- Rachel Bilson, American actress

"Forty pictures I was in, and all I remember is 'What kind of bra will you be wearing today, honey?' That was always the area of big decision - from the neck to the navel." -- Donna Reed

"I've had lots of kids come up and ask for my autograph, I've had a grandmother stop and ask me if I know a good place to buy underwear." -- Duke of Cambridge a.k.a. Prince William of England

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Image Credit: maralina@flickr.com

"If Batman is so smart, tell me again why he wears his shorts outside his pants?

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Image Credit: http://wazdesign.files.wordpress.com

"It is an interesting question how far men would retain their relative rank in society if they were divested of their clothes." -- Thoreau

She's just "tou tou" marvellous for words; besides, she gives new meaning to lounging pajamas or "Long Johns"!

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Image Credit: Illustration by Duane Bryers, ondiraiduveau@fickr.com

"If it's a dog eat dog world, how come no one's invented milk bone underwear?"

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Image Credit: Bill Mayers@flickr.com

Now here's one very clever fun annual fundraising event held in Canada, (you know the land of ice and snow not to mention plenty of beavers, bears and bugs)!

"The Underwear Affair" is a summertime event come rain or shine in which everyone is invited to "drop everything" and "uncover the cure for cancers below the belt."

The Underwear Affair is a fun 10K run or 5K walk that benefits often underfunded, in-the-closet cancers like prostate, colorectal, prostate and cervical. So, if you're looking for something adventurous, bold, and community-minded to do on a hot summer's day, then there's nothing better than sprinting or sauntering in support of the Canadian Cancer Foundation's effort to find cures and better treatments for these cancers.

Presented by various chapters of the Canadian Cancer Foundation and apparel manufacturer "Joe Boxer", together with a host of other sponsors, The Underwear Affair is one of those rare events that combine a great cause and a great time.

The event is for people of all ages, all athletic abilities, and all fashion statements. Of course, participating in your underwear is encouraged, but not required. From crazy costumes to great company, this event is sure to be a hit and a help in supporting of treating cancers below the belt.

NOTE: Events are held every year in Calgary and Edmonton, Alberta (usually during the month of June), in Vancouver, British Columbia (usually in mid July), and in Toronto, Ontario (usually at the end of August).

For those who don't know, all these little gems are worn next to the skin under one's clothes.

A
all-in-one

B
balbriggans, Balmoral, bikinis, bloomers, bodice, bra, bra-slip, brassiere, briefs, bikini briefs, bikini shorts, body clothes, body shaper, body stocking, body suit, bodywear, boxer shorts, breechclothes, bustle, B.V.D.'s (trademark)

C
cache-sexe, camisole, chadi, chemise, chonies, combination, corselet, corset, corset cover, crinoline, culotte

D
dick togs, drawers

F
flannels, foundation garments, fundies

G
garter belts, ginch, girdles, gitch, gonch, gotch, gotchees, grundies

H
hair shirts, half slips

I
innerwear, intimate things

J
jockey shorts, jocks

K
knickers

L
lingerie, linen, long underwear

M
merry widow

N
nether garments

P
pannier, pantalet, pantaloons, panties, pants, panty hose, panty girdles, panty slips, petticoat

R
red flannels, Reg Grundys, Reginalds, rubber pants, ruffled panties

S
shifts, shimmies, shorts, singlets, skivvies, slips, small clothing, smalls, smocks, snuggies, soakers, stays, supports

T
teddy, tournure, thongs, T-shirts

U
underclothes, underclothing, under-chunder, underlinen, underpants, undershirt, underskirt, underthings, undervest, underwear, undies, union suit, unmentionables

V
vests

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Image Credit: tindaisies@flickr.com

Lest you think that there's something ho-hum about nether garments, you might be proven wrong.

Underwear technology really came of age in the 20th century (with the design of overlapping fly, the vented kangaroo pouch, or wickable athletic supports). Although, if truth be told, males would probably have to admit that they got a bigger kick out of inventing the airplane, flying a rocketship to the moon, or coming up with 1001 uses for handy dandy duct tape.

Aside from the fact that there are numerous styles, colors and designs available now in basic briefs and bikinis, there are also changing trends. Not only have women taken to wearing men's undergarments but they don't mind wearing them over their outerware thanks to megastar "Madonna"!

Where there's a will there's a way, and when scientists and stylists put their heads together they can find an innovative solution to the problem of fetid foundation fragrance. It seems men's underwear that can reduce body odour is a now "must-have" fashion item among Japanese middle-aged men. Believe it or not, a cosmetics company is currently producing a shirt with built-in deodorant!

If that doesn't knock your smelly socks off, maybe this new trend will. Apparently a designer in France is manufacturing a unique line of non-allergenic, highly-absorbent eco-underwear, made from wood (actually it's White Pine from North America, minus the splinters naturally).

But the real breakthrough for men's fashion foundations is the new "Wondershirt" made by Equmen. These new undershirts are capable of flattening pot-bellies, tightening the flabby upper body muscles, and slimming down those XXL love-handles with the help of light-weight compression material used in those skin-tight high-performance bodylength swimsuits. Will wonders never cease!

1. Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men.

2. Bras did not exist until 1913 when Mary Phelps Jacob tied two handkerchiefs together with ribbon. In 1928, Maidenform introduced modern cup sizes.

3. Apparently, Italians wear red, Argentineans wear pink, and Brazilians wear brand new underwear on New Year's Eve.

4. In 1935, the first men's briefs appeared. They had a Y-shaped front and overlapping fly on knitted drawers and came in both short and long styles.

5. The loincloth is both the simplest and the most popular form of underwear. It was probably the first undergarment worn by human beings.

6. The thong first gained popularity in Brazil, in the 1980s as a swimsuit style. By the 1990s, thong underwear became popular and today it is one of the fastest selling styles.

7. In 1991, the average bra size in the United States was 34B; today it's 36C.

8. According to male underwear surveys, 41% of men prefer briefs while only 12% prefer boxers.

10. According to female undergarment surveys, 37% of women prefer bikini while 17% prefer boyshorts.

"Just because every day I start off on the right foot (so the left one is still free to kick butt), that doesn't mean I want to "hang loose" in those godawful 'Granny Panties'!"

"Boxers Or Briefs?"...are you up to asking and answering some really wild and wacky questions at your next party?

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Image Credit: Linda Silvestri - sketchedout.files.wordpress.com

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Image Credit: etsy.com/196258154.jpg

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Image Credit: www.shakespearespeddler.com