Teaching Your Children Honest Values
I was thinking of a topic to write about and being new to squidoo didn't know where to start, so after a couple of "occasions" with my preschooler here's what I came up with.
Teaching children honesty at any age can be a real challenge, given all the dishonesty they will encounter almost daily. Your example and interest in their behavior, can be a powerful influence on any child. Hopefully some of the methods below will be helpful as well.
Contents at a Glance
Demonstrate
- We smell with our feet? (Kids say, "not true.")
- (Point to your ears) These are my ears. (kids say, "true".)
- The sky is pink
- We hear with our mouth
- Take a cookie out of a jar and eat it. Then say, "I didn't eat the cookie."
Then say, "You really do know the difference between a truth and a lie, don't you? Do you know what it's called when someone says something that's not true? It's called a lie."
Then ask, "Why is telling the truth better than telling a lie?" (So that everybody knows what really happened and the wrong person won't get blamed; so we can learn from our actions and do better, etc.)
Give Praise
Encourage honesty daily! Preschoolers love positive attention, infact they prefer it to negative attention. However, they prefer negative attention to no attention at all.When children lie, try to give them little or no attention. When they tell the truth, praise them graciously. Children, especially preschoolers can understand the distinction between the displeasure and the pleasure with their truthfulness.
Honesty about Feelings
Play the "face game"; point at a picture or make your own face and say, "Why do you think he/she feels that way?" Then say, "Is it okay to feel that way?"
This will help children to identify feelings and probable causes and to know that it is okay to have those feelings
Share Your Honesty
This helps demonstrate to children that you are willing to be honest with them - even about your own struggles. Tell your child about times when you had a hard time being honest. Tell them "positive" incidents when you were honest and negative ones when you were not.Sharing this virtue is a compliment to any child, because it expresses your confidence in them. Nothing will inspire or encourage them more to share tieir struggles with you.
Sum it all up
Answer questions with truth and alway be open with them unless it is a question that is off limits, and then just tell them honest and simple why you won't anser it. Never let them hear you tell a "white or convenient lie" and never ask them to tell one for you ("Mom's not home").
Don't be anxious to "catch" them in a lie. Instead "catch them telling the truth". If they begin to tell what you think is not true, stop them and say, "Think for a minute. Remember how important it is to tell the truth." Give them a chance to start over.
These methods, applied for honesty, combined with your own ideas, become an essential "tool" for any parent and with your personal experience can make us all into confident "value-teachers."
Find Out More
- focusonthefamily:tips
- Focus on the Family provides timely, relevant information and advice on marriage, parenting, faith, entertainment, life challenges and social issues, all from a Christian perspective. Listen to our broadcasts, read our blogs, join in our forums and enjoy audio and video clips on a variety of hot top
- The honest child: How to teach honesty - ParentCenter
- The honest child: How to teach honesty
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Whoops! But It Wasn't Me (Charlie and Lola)
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Be Honest and Tell the Truth (Learning to Get Along)
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New Guestbook
Definite thumbs up! It is hard to raise children in this day and age. I have three of the books you mention, they have made teaching the importance of values so much easier.
Thanks for sharing the great tips Suzy!
I am looking forward to working closely with you on our awesome Wickless Candle Business!
Aimee
Posted June 04, 2008
