WAHM Time Management Tips

This Lens provides a general overview of Time Management for WAHMs and Dads, with tips from other WAHMs on Squidoo, some of whom run their own businesses. It is the second in a planned series, the first published being Tips for WAHMs: Stop procrastinating.

Subsequent lenses will go into even more detail about organising ourselves and our families and there will also be lenses on Life-skills.

We shall never have more time. We have, and always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going... Concentrate on something useful.

Arnold Bennett
(British novelist, playwright, critic, and essayist, 1867-1931)

I have a lovely hubby, I have four children (age range 32 - 11!), I have a large dog and two elderly parents. Quite a lot to be getting on with.

Add into the equation that I have been ill for nearly a year now with Otosclerosis (it's OK, I am recovering) and that I have always been the motivator, fixer and thrower of big family get-togethers at Christmas, on birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day and so on. Also like a lot of families we have been badly hit by the current economic downturn (won't bore you with the details) so you will get an idea of some of what I am dealing with most of the time. As for the fact that I am trying to make it as a writer then, well . . . .

The reason why I have stopped and taken a step back to reassess how I do things is that for too long now I have been fire-fighting. I feel like I am standing in the middle of a huge field and everywhere I turn, small fires are breaking out in a circle and closing in around me. Every time I put a fire out another one starts and I find that whatever time I may have put aside for what I want to do is slipping away.

The Persistence of Memory, c.1931 Art Print
Salvador Dali
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It could be a phone call from my parents asking if they get a new puppy can I help them choose it - they live 48 miles away and puppies from reputable breeders rarely live on your doorstep; it could be a letter from the Inland Revenue telling me they need more information - I do my own tax returns and my hubby's; it could be a snow day - we had four in one week in February when the girls were off school - unheard of; it could be an email asking me if I would like to be an Angel on Squidoo; it could be that project my daughter forgot to mention when it was set two weeks ago and it has be handed in next week (grrrrrr!); the phone could ring and it could be "Hi Mum, can we come for the weekend" - and it's already Thursday!

Unless you are a Mother who has funds to send out the ironing, get in a cleaner and access to unlimited (and cheap) babysitting or childcare, then you are probably like me: Always Juggling and constantly dropping the balls. We have to accept that we are NOT Superwomen and I made this the topic of my first ever blog on Blogger!

I love my hubby very, very much, but what I could do with right now is a wife!

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday

Napoleon Hill
(American Author)

It is very easy to procrastinate when you are a WAHM, but:

Procrastination creates:

Delay

Low achievement

Stress

Feelings of guilt

Problems with deadlines

Poor personal organisation

Ineffective planning

Procrastination is the thief of time.

Edward Young
(English literary Critic, Poet and Dramatist, 1683-1765)

For tips on how to break your Procrastination habits, visit my other lens: Tips for WAHMs: Stop procrastinating

Time Management Planning - the POO plan!
But make sure it is planning NOT procrastination

Create a To Do list and then split the tasks up into the following categories

Prioritise! The problems really start when all the time is used up on Urgent and Important (No 1) and Urgent but not Important (No 2). Anything that has an urgency about it, demands our immediate attention. We then overlook the important tasks that are not urgent because we think we have plenty of time to do them. Then we find those tasks becoming urgent!

An example of this is Book-keeping. It is an important activity but it only becomes urgent if you get behind with it and the deadline for submitting your tax return is looming.

IF WE FIND TIME TO DO THE IMPORTANT THINGS
THEN MOST OF THE TIME THEY WILL NEVER BECOME URGENT!



Priorities Poster
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When weighing important decisions, go with your gut!

BIG time saver tip: Teach your children how to look for things properly - that means teaching them to do a "Mummy look", not a "Daddy look"!

Organise your family - You need to get into various habits and the family needs to get into them too. This is going to need some co-operation on their part and you HAVE to be persistent with them. Don't give up at the first sign of resistance!

Make sure your partner/husband co-operates. Threaten, oops I mean persuade, him with whatever it takes to get him on board and make sure he does not undermine you with the children.

Undermining you with the children is a game that Daddys like to play. They like to make out that Mummy = "Bad cop" and Daddy = "Good cop"!

The Simpsons - Marge Poster Card
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Set aside a time each week when you and your family can plan what needs to be done over the following week. Make sure your children have told you about every single piece of homework and EXACTLY when it is due to be handed in - this is a biggy. Sunday nights can become very stressful if all of a sudden they "remember" the homework that needs to be in on Monday morning.

But make sure that this time is not the only time you all spend together. Our "family time" happens every night, during the evening meal. Sometimes, because my husband often does not get home until 7 pm, this means eating later than I would like to but it is important that the four of us share this time. It's a time when the girls can tell us about their day and talk through the good and perhaps not so good things that may have happened.

Teamwork: Whales Art Print
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Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results

Trying to organise your family can be tough. The children will not readily volunteer to do chores and you may feel guilty about asking them to do things they have not done before. Look on it as good personal development. You are helping them to become more caring, responsible and independent. Gently explain it to them and if that doesn't work and they feel hard done by remind them that children a lot smaller than they are were being shoved up chimneys to clean them at the turn of the last century.

And if that has no impact tell them that they can't do any fun stuff until they have done their chores. That should do the trick!

DON'T FEEL GUILTY - DELEGATE!

Example: Lizzie has been bugging me on and off for years to let her have packed lunches rather than the school lunches. I have always resisted because to be honest I did not want to have even more hassle in the mornings making sandwiches.

A few weeks ago she was moaning on and on about the behaviour of the boys in the lunch queue, the fact that the plates never seemed clean (ugh!) and that all her friends were having packed lunches and it wasn't fair because they wont let "packed lunches" sit with "school lunches".

I told her no way was I going to add to my stress in the mornings by making sandwiches. She said: "I'll do it then" - yes she was THAT desperate. Deal!

She's coming up to 11, she makes a good cheese sandwich. She adds what we need for her lunches to the weekly shopping list, to make sure I don't forget. Sorted!

One of the best tips I learned several years ago was that you can do anything for 15 minutes! In fact that "project" (folding laundry, etc!) that seems like it would take "forever" could be done and over in 15 minutes (or at least there is less than there was 15 minutes ago!).

I use the technique with my children (19, 11, & 9) give them the timer and tell them they only have to clean/straighten their room for 15 minutes. When they have a time limit they don't mind doing the task. (I even bought my 19 dd her own timer to take to college to help her stay focused and on track!)

LakeMom

Set up a schedule. Add the top priorities first then add the other tasks. This means you are more likely to give the important stuff the time it needs. The sociologist Arlie Hochschild has a theory that we crave work because it is relatively calm compared to a disorganised home. He says:

In this new model of family-and-work life, a tired parent flees a world of unresolved quarrels and unwashed laundry for the reliable orderliness, harmony and managed cheer of work.

Generally encourage your children to take responsibility-for putting their own clothes away (then they will be able to find them when they want to wear them), getting their stuff ready for school (preferably the night before), doing household duties like emptying the waste paper baskets every day, getting in the washing, emptying the dishwasher, feeding their pets.

Example: We already had two rabbits, when a friend craftily showed my girls photos of the litter of baby bunnies her own rabbit had given birth to a couple of weeks before.

Oh my word! Talk about pester power!

We already had a spare hutch (although Daddy would have to make a new run) and in the end the deal was OK, providing the girls looked after them and that included feeding every morning before school, putting them to bed at night AND cleaning them out at weekends. Sparky has been true to her word and is out in the garden come rain or shine at 7.30 every morning tending all four bunnies.

Lizzie took the easy option and feeds the dog!

Time saver tip: Use Sunday Night as Tidy-up Time
On Sunday evening, everyone (parents and children) is responsible for helping pick up their stuff and putting it away. The family should work together to tidy up the house for the coming week. Family time can then follow: a game, a video or something that the family enjoys doing together

Organise yourself - there's no point in organising the family if you don't sort yourself out! You have to lead by example.

Prioritise - yep, it's the P-word again!
Before you can use your time effectively, you need to decide what is important. There's nothing worse than spending time driving along the wrong road. Once you have your priorities then stick with them!

Preparation - another P-word!
Pencil in some planning time into your schedule and do it on a regular basis. Review your goals and key action points daily.

Be consistent and self disciplined - once you have created your routine or schedule then follow it
Take responsibility. It will soon become a good habit

Clear out the clutter - in your mind
Work when you are working, play when you are playing.

Focus - don't multi task
Concentrate effort in areas of maximum gain. Start a project and try to finish it before you start another. That goes for Squidoo lenses too. That way you will maintain momentum, not lose it.

My coping mechanism is to focus on what I am doing at that moment, and let everything else fade away. I try to plan two to three main things that I want to accomplish each day, usually the day before towards my long term goals, but sometimes they don't get done. I have learned to let that go, because the next day I may do twice as much as I expected.

Lake Erie Artists

This is a BIGGY! Establish ownership of your time
Reduce interruptions from time wasters (see module below)

Use Time Blocks - when do you work best at which tasks?
Are you more creative in the afternoon? Then block out that time for creating lens content, blogging, writing.

Do similar tasks together - you will do them faster
Do you have a new affiliate link to put on some of your lenses, blogs or websites? Do them all at the same time.

Delegation - do what you do best, delegate the rest if you can
What can you do that no one else can do? What is the best use of your time right now? Do that.

Allow enough time - don't under-estimate how long a task will take
Estimate how long you think it will take and then double it.

Look after your health - eat regular meals, get enough exercise
You will be more productive and energetic.

I am not great at multitasking and have learned to accept that. I get stressed and cranky when trying to do too many things at once. So instead I tend to do things in bursts, one at a time. I can accomplish a lot that way, just not all at once. If I get stuck on something mentally, a quick run helps.

Karate Kate Graphics

Don't give up - revamp, reschedule, rework, but persevere
Stay cool. Stress results in poor outputs and reduced motivation. When problems arise, revise your plans - nothing is written in stone!

Time Wasters? Actually, they are Time Thieves. But we love them, so we find it hard to deny them access to us 24/7. But hang on a minute. If you were working "at the office", would your Mother be phoning you at 10 in the morning to ask you what your husband wants for his birthday?

Would your best mate be phoning you because they have a new Internet Service Provider who never told them a few crucial pointers about their new email address and they cannot understand why e-mails they are sending out are bouncing back and they know that you probably know what the problem is, so can you help? This, in the middle of an article writing session and the deadline is in 30 minutes!

A well known prayer

God please give me the serenity to bear those things that cannot be changed
The strength to change those things that can be changed
And the wisdom to know the difference

The one thing it is certain we cannot change is other people. But what we can do is change the way WE do things.

My very wise SquidFriend Joan4 said in an email:

"Most women work between interruptions"

So the answer is to stop allowing ourselves to be interrupted. Think about the things that interrupt you. For me it is telephone calls, emails and friends dropping by unannounced.

The phone
Tell your family the times they can call you (unless it is a genuine emergency of course. But ensure that YOUR definition of an emrgency is the SAME as your Mother's! It may also help you to talk it through with your hysterical best friend who is going through a divorce.)

Turn the answer-phone on and DO NOT answer the phone. But yes, you can listen to the message but DO NOT act upon it unless it is an emergency.

The emails
Create separate email accounts. Most ISPs allow for multiple accounts to be set up. Do it.

You could also set up an Autoresponse to let people know when they can expect to hear back from you. If you think this might be going a bit far for your personal emails, at least consider it for your business in-boxes.

Example: I know people who email and then if they don't get a response they phone!
I had a client who if they didn't get a fast response to the first email, they then sent me a second email asking me if I got the first email and if I have could I please let them know!

I ignored it - because I had specifically told the client I was NOT working that day!

Have an account for personal and one for business. Then add another account for those lists you subscribe to, in order to get a free e-book, with the sole intention of unsubscribing at the first opportunity. This ensures that you are not distracted by new messages pinging into your inbox every five minutes.

It also means that when you change your mind about unsubscribing, because you are curious about what else you may be sent, you don't end up distracted by e-mails pinging into your inbox every two minutes!

Plan into your day when you are going to check your e-mails. Then apply the "Four Ds":

Do it- reply to those that need a reply immediately
Defer it- scroll past the emails that can wait (you can flag up the ones you don't want to lose track of, to remind you to reply later)
Delegate it - forward emails that someone else needs to deal with
Dump it - delete emails you don't need to respond to and those dealt with that you do not need to keep

ESTABLISH OWNERSHIP OF YOUR TIME!

Personal emails
You have your separate emails accounts - you do don't you - so do not check your personal mail every five minutes. Leave it. If something urgent comes up they will phone you. OK so you are not answering the phone, but if it is urgent they will leave a message and it's OK, I am allowing you to check your messages.

Remember! The world survived without having instant access to you before the internet and mobile phones were invented!

Oh and if the email tells you that you have to forward it on to ten friends or bad luck will come your way, don't spend the next ten minutes trying to decide which ten friends to send it to. The bad luck is caused by the time you are wasting, when you could be being productive. Delete, delete, delete!

So Much To Do Magnet
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Unexpected callers
You are in the middle of a really creative streak. That new lens, article or blog you have been planning in your mind for days is finally taking shape. You are typing away and it is even better than you thought it would be. Just another half an hour and you will have it finished. . . .

Ding Dong!

The dog is barking like crazy and you have just made the mistake of yelling at her to be quiet! No chance of pretending you are not at home now, so you open the door and there's your best mate who you have not had a coffee with for at least a month. She was just passing so she thought she would drop in. You are thinking: "You would not have just dropped in if I had been at the office!"

But you smile and you invite her in for coffee. No! No! No! No! No!

YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY!

What you do is you tell your friend that it is great to see her, but you really are in the middle of something you can't stop at the moment, so how about if you get your diary/planner and arrange a time when you can meet up and have a proper chat. She will understand - she is your friend after all. Sorted!

Welcome To Our House Tin Sign
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When I first started writing on the web on Squidoo, I soon learned the importance that a lot of internet publishers place on Networking. Networking is a hungry beast and I have since learned how much time can be eaten up while I just check for new threads on various forums I belong to, submit links and join in the chat on places like StumbleUpon, Digg, Twitter and Tagfoot. Then there's comments to be made on the blogs I try to follow and the responses to comments made on my blogs.

Only network at sites that are valuable to you. These are the sites that bring traffic to your website, blog or lens. Check your stats and your backlinks. See where the traffic is coming from and make those sites your priority for building relationships.

Select a certain day or a certain time each day and put a strict time limit on your business and social networking.

Sanity saving tip: Avoid over-scheduling the family
Many of today's parents spend too much time ferrying their children to and from after-school activities. Parents need to learn to say no and not over commit themselves to too many activities for their children - say two.

It just adds to the stress of everyday life and how are the children going to learn to use their imagination to occupy themsleves if everything is always organised for them? Living a hectic life is no fun for anyone.

The children will never learn to use their imagination to keep themselves occupied. Being "Superparent", constantly arranging occupations for your children, being "Mum's (or Dad's) taxi" only encourages your children to depend on you even more. They will never learn to be independent either.

Free E-Book: More Me Time by Heather Bestel

Heather Bestel is someone who I came across when I was the Editor of Imperfectly Natural.com. Heather says about the book:

"It's full of great advice, tips and strategies for making time for yourself in the busyness of your day. It supports you in giving yourself permission to give yourself more time, especially when you're really rushed off your feet."

It does exactly what Heather says and more. So treat yourself to an interesting and helpful read.

More Me Time

Leo Babauta is a blogger worth following. In this post he has some great tips for "getting started" on something.

Babauta says:

Too often we get stuck in inaction - the quagmire of doubt and perfectionism and distractions and planning that stops us from moving forward.

And while I'm no proponent of a whirling buzz of activity, I also believe people get lost in the distractions of the world and lose sight of what's important, and how to actually accomplish their Something Amazing.

And so today I'd like to humbly present a few little rules of action - just some small reminders, things I've found useful but by no means invented, common-sense stuff that is often not common enough.

1. Don't overthink. Too much thinking often results in getting stuck, in going in circles. Some thinking is good - it's good to have a clear picture of where you're going or why you're doing this - but don't get stuck thinking. Just do.

Read the rest of The Little Rules of Action

Then subscribe to the Blog and add Power of Less, The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential...in Business and in Life to your Wishlist!

According to their Ning homepage RocketMoms is a gathering of the smartest women on the web, working together to make Squidoo lenses (and a whole lot more).

The group is specifically aimed at Mums publishing on Squidoo and the first cohort is working together for six weeks, starting on 20 April 2009.

In Week 1 our first task was to make an "About Me" lens, which is 10 things I want to do.

For Week 2, we had to make a niche lens, which is how this lens evolved. I had been planning a Time Management lens for ages - but I was procrastinating!

Then we got our task and I made a start. Then I realised that I had several modules on Procrastination and so made the decision to split the lens into two. I went off and did THAT lens before I finished this one.

Hmm........

Be kind to yourself -- so what if you don't get it all done? I'm fairly certain that mountains won't fall, the sea won't boil etc if you don't get to check all your emails on your social networks in one day... It's o.k -- 99% of your contacts understand and the 1% that don't.... well.........

Charly Leetham

Time Art Print
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