Predestination - Walk In Your Destiny

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All Things Work Together - From Survivor to Conqueror

This Lens is my conversation with myself relating to the things I have learned and the discussion I heard one day (the day I created this lens). This is Part 1: (Part 2 came much much later and got to the heart of the matter - My journey in recovery). This lens is A very personal walk through a belief system transformation... from survivor to conqueror.

Have you ever been called a survivor? Did you know that there is a 'survivor syndrome', I will call it, that keeps us blocked from moving forward after a crisis? This lens is about moving past being a survivor, striving for our good, and moving forward as a conqueror "walking in our destiny."

Walk With You - Della Reese 

I have always adored this song. I would watch 'Touched By An Angel' on television years ago, and everytime I heard this song it would make me cry. Now I know that I am not alone , that was part of my transformation that I am grateful for everyday.

We are not alone.
Even when we believe we are... we are not.

Remember the "footprints poem" about the man who asks God why during the times of greatest tribulation there are only one set of footprints in the sand? We think we are alone because we only see one set of footprints... but, we are Never Alone.

"WALK WITH YOU" - DELLA RESSE

God will always be with us through any and every thing! Jesus confirmed it!

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We Have Endured Abuse - Bishop Noel Jones 

This discussion with myself (and now with you here on this lens) began when I was listening to another exceptional guest on Paula Today! I listened to Bishop Noel Jones discussing his book and I realized that the journey toward healing that I took isn't as uncommon as I had thought. I was under the impression that I wasn't 'doing it right'. It would seem, after all, that I was not as alone as I had believed.

Bishop Noel Jones
"Bishop Jones' ministry uniquely promotes reconciliation and redemption, which definitely crosses denominational and social lines." ~StreamingFaith.com

This is an overview of a recent talk that Bishop gave on Predestination as it applies to healing from past hurt.



WE



*...have had to endure abuse from family and strangers.
*...have hidden the past, ashamed.
*...have denied it until we believed that it didn't happen.
*...have lied about it because of guilt, shame, and hidden scars.
*...decided to take our burden to others but, we looked at them with suspicion.
We expected healing and received more scars.
*...had lowered our expectations because our experiences taught us to believe that we were unworthy.

*...looked at those who cared for us with resentment because if they could care about us, then, they had lowered their expectations as well.



If you are a survivor, perhaps my story will help you to be free to move forward in your life's journey, let go of anything that is blocking you, and move into your rightful place

"on the Road of Happy Destiny."

We...

...have endured abuse.
...have hidden the past.
...have denied it.
...have lied about it.
...have decided to bring it to healers.
...have looked at our healers with suspicion.

And, Then WE discovered a better way to live!

# 1 - We have endured abuse. 

Abuse is only one condition that we as humans find ourselves becoming survivors as a result of it. There are disasters, loss, challenges in relationships, and countless other [people, places, and things] situations that will bring us to our knees praying for strength to move through to the other side to hope.

"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something." ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I believe this and I also believe that everyone you meet has overcome something, has learned something, has become a survivor of something, and has a dream about something that will carry them from survivor to conqueror.

We Agreed On the Gingerbread

# 2 - We have hidden the past. 

Most of my life I was taught [through experience] that it is not wise to discuss what is really going on in my life. I was taught that everytime I brought up the past, I was using it to seek sympathy. I felt ashamed that I had not healed, that my perspective of the situation was so different than others who were close enough to see what I saw, yet, didn't see what I saw.

I hid the past to protect myself and others. In retrospect I hid much of the past because I was ashamed of it and thought that I deserved the way it was, and that it would be better to not say anything.

Now I realize that in order to heal from the past, we must find outlets that are healthy and productive in the healing process.

Our Destiny is...

A place where we are happy, joyous, and free from abuse. It is a place where we are confident about our journey, when things go wrong, we find something in it to take forward with us. We look deeply into ourselves for any hint of blame or shame or attachment and we let it go.

~We Are Worthy~

# 3 - We have denied it and lied about it. 

In my silence, I would deny my experiences even when discussing them would have helped others [and myself as well]. I didn't know that I had lied about it for so long, I started to believe the lies myself.

A friend of mine says:
"Denial is when I Don't Even No I Am Lying"

"Something happens to a soul that lives in denial that perfected."



Something becomes buried so deeply that the outside begins to harden over and the edges get jagged.

Suddenly nothing really matters anymore. Everything in life becomes a mechanical reaction. WE forget how to love, to receive love, and how to live a joyous life. We may not have ever known, but, we forget that we wanted to find out.

When life is mechanical

This is my insanity... this is how my mechanical life was...and I didn't even know it.

"The eggs go in this pan, the milk goes in that glass, the silence is unbearable [turn up the radio], take out the garbage, talk to no-one. Answer the phone only if someone else hears it ringing...never answer the door unless you have make-up on. Sneak out to check the mail, cover all the windows with heavy blankets. Tell that women from the school that you have it all together but, thanks for offering."

My silence was turning my life into an unbearable and complex (as complex as I could make it...so no one would know that I didn't have any power ), it was my insanity.

"Please don't put the milk in the other glass, it goes in this one. How many times do I have to tell you?"



I was certain that 'things needed to be this way or that way' and often I didn't even know why. But, I knew it was the way it was suppose to be. I was in a 'stuck' place. My belief systems were stuck and my willingness to grow was stuck as well.

When we are mechanical, everything that changes becomes a major complication. It is like driving on auto pilot, please do not move that road sign, or change that exit, or I will find myself off the road in a ditch.

When we lied about our past, and kept our pain and scars hidden, they crackled over like dry ground and felt rusty on the edges. We found ourselves in real pain that doctors couldn't identify and analysis couldn't 'fix'.

This wasn't about a horse who didn't want to drink... "You can not give a horse water if his mouth is wired shut." It was about a girl who was so hurt she just didn't know what else to do to protect herself.

"...this girl just needs crayons..."

# 4 - We have sought healers and then looked at them with suspicion. 

Maybe this time it will be different. This time, I will be just right. The relationship will go well, I'll be who they want me to be, and I will not let anyone know who I really am. That should work!

***

This time...I will tell this one person all about my life and if they can't handle it, then they are not right for me anyway.

***

Look... I told him everything and he still cares for me.

Look... Wait a minute...

***

I am looking so hard at how he might respond to my situation [my history], I don't even look at his. Well, you know, I am the lowest of the heap, so anyone who can handle all this is going to be the answer to my prayers.

Look... Hummmmm...

After all that, he still cares. There must be something seriously wrong with him. Why, I wonder, might he actually care? I wonder what he really wants?

Why has he lowered his expectations so far?

***

The inner conversation goes on and on and on....

* 

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why

by: Susan Forward, Joan Torres

Amazon Price: $10.88 (as of 01/04/2010)Buy Now

Predestination Guestbook 

~GUESTBOOK~

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  • Reply
    mysticmama mysticmama Mar 18, 2009 @ 11:08 am
    very intersting lens...it's funny how terminology is different for different thing...In burn injury recovery...we call it victim syndrome...and work to encourage those who have suffered burn injuries to stop being victim and become survivors...it's the same process you describe, transcending and conquering fears and self pity...very cool...5*
  • Reply
    Joan4 Joan4 Mar 9, 2009 @ 4:18 pm
    What a powerful lesson for all of us! Your wisdom astounds me always. I have always said "everybody has a story" but the quote you used says it even better - "Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something." ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. wow! I will hold on to that one! We do all have a story. Thank you for sharing this one. My deepest respect - but you know that already!
  • Reply
    GypsyOwl GypsyOwl Oct 12, 2008 @ 6:41 pm
    Thank you Poddys and Jewelsofawe! :D I really appreciate your feedback here and your kindness. This and the part 2 of this lens were both difficult to share. I see now that it is important to share even if it sounds a bit like rambling at times.

    I Thank You both very much for the support!
  • Reply
    Jewelsofawe Jewelsofawe Aug 19, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
    Nice lens.
  • Reply
    poddys poddys Jul 3, 2008 @ 9:03 pm
    A very interesting and thought provoking lens, good job. 5***** well deserved.
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Bishop Noel Jones 

The Victim as Victor - Becoming Victorious after Abusive Experiences

This is a series called "The Victim as Victor" presented by Bishop Noel Jones. It is broken into 5 parts. This will give you an idea what the Bible says about victory.

The Victim Is The Victor- Part 01 of 05

Runtime: 630
7767 views
4 Comments:


The Victim Is The Victor- Part 02 of 05

Runtime: 630
7013 views
0 Comments:


The Victim Is The Victor- Part 03 of 05

Runtime: 630
5246 views
0 Comments:


The Victim Is The Victor- Part 04 of 05

Runtime: 630
6037 views
5 Comments:


The Victim Is The Victor- Part 05 of 05

Runtime: 630
7030 views
6 Comments:

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~What Happened Next... Healing Happened~ 

After doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, I discovered the path I needed to follow.

I have...
Discovered, Uncovered, Healed, and Recovered,

One Day at A Time.

To Be Continued...

Click here to See Part 2

We Recovered 

featured lens The Road of Happy Destiny - My Journey in Recovery

This has been a challenging lens to create. I found myself getting too busy to work on it on purpose. Recently I was reading a fellow lensmaster's story, and realized that the only thing that has been holding me back is fear. So, I have made a decisi...

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