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Warrior Women - Who we are, What we do, How we are

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Warrior Women. We're Everywhere.

To all my sisters, including those I've not yet met.

This is not a protest march. This is not a plea for anyone's understanding. This is not a sales pitch.

If you're a warrior woman, you may recognize yourself within. If you're not and you're female, you may see your future within.

If you're not and you're not female, you may find yourself a bit confused. Read on, or don't.

Warrior Women : The Kindred Spirits

We're not our moms. We're not our grandmothers. We're definitely not our daughters.

We empower ourselves and each other.

We are married, we are single. We are widowed, we are divorced. Some of us are all of the above over the course of many years.

We are feminists; we are equalists; we are isolationists - we are of many minds and purposes. We respect that in each other. It is what makes us 'us.'

We're 'of an age' where we should know better. Most of us are 50 and beyond, and some of us are WAY beyond. We are defined by a highly conflicted web of decades, eras and mentalities, geographies and boundaries.

Our strength is mostly internal.

Some of us our mothers, and some of us are not, either by choice or by chance. Some of us may be mothers but not feel maternal in the slightest. We question this at times, but for many of us it is a fact of life.

We network. We've been social-networking since before many of you were born. Deal with it, and please don't try to shove us into pigeonholes of your own making.

We're warrior women. We'll make our own pigeonholes. Thanks.

Silver Threads Overtake the Gold

Some of us have given up dying our hair once a month, letting gray arrive naturally and even riotously. Clairol hates us because we refuse to keep trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. We are all goddesses. Like some, we've got some cracks in the marble. We cope.

But we're warriors. We can handle a few gray strands.

Gravity, Schmavity

We accept that age brings change over which we have very little control. Skin loses elasticity and gravity wins in the form of tiny lines on our faces and hands. Some of us suffer from downward drift. (If you're one of us, you know exactly what that means.)

But we're warrior women. We can handle a few wrinkles.

Focused on the Unseen

We are educated and erudite. Some of us got our education in the hallowed halls of the Ivy Leagues. Some of us got our education on the streets. Some of us are experts in our own fields, and some of us have seen our fields of expertise made obsolete.

But we're warriors. We can handle shifting sands.

Exhausted but Still Going

We're high energy, we're low energy, and we're tired. Many of us are from an era where we didn't have the luxury of giving up. We had families to feed. Houses to protect. Children and relatives to shelter. Giving up is not in our vocabulary. Many of us are stressed beyond words and cannot tell you why.

But we're warrior women. We can handle a bit of stress.

Fragile Omnipotence

We possess a linearity of purpose and a strangely unlinear sense of our chronology. Weren't we 22 just a few days ago? Wasn't it just last week we were living in Duluth, or was it Barcelona? We blinked, and during the blinking, life jammed on at its own speed, regardless of our own.

But we're warrior women. We can handle a lot of discontinuity.

Alone Together

We're capable, we're dependent, and we're independent. Some of us are alone. Some of us have amazing support systems. Some of us have amazing support systems and feel alone. It is the way of the warrior at times, and we must do with it what we can. We network carefully and warily, but recognize kindred spirits as we find them. Those are our sisters, and we protect them with every fiber of our being. We are fiercely territorial.

But we're warriors. We can share when need be.

High Tech Luddites

Some of us power up the on-ramps of the Information Superhighway at or approaching the speed of light. Some of us crawl up the road shoulder and stumble over discarded flat tires and lost bumpers. Matters not. We help each other as we find each other stumbling along. We lead by example. We sometimes get lost.

But we're warriors. We'll find our way back.

Battling the Windmills

and the dragons that live behind them

We're older and wiser. Well.. we're older. We aren't sucker-punched as easily as we were in yesteryears, although we may choose not to show our fortitude and strength to just anyone.

After all, we're warrior women. Masters of the implacable gaze.

That's Not Weight. That's Presence.

The battle of the bulge is over for many of us. Some of us won. Some of us lost. Some of us were among the conquered, through the mind control of chocolate and 'low-fat' desserts. We know better. We know we know better. But some of us still hear the dinner-table battle cries: "Clear your plate - there are children starving in CHINA!" We obeyed then; many of us are still quite obedient.

But we're warrior women, and the plate mail adds quite a few pounds to the picture. Honest.

Power Through the Pain

Some of us are in pain; some of us are in agony. Worn joints, abused nerves, out-of-shape muscles and tendons that argue back when we move. We power through it as we can, trying our best to keep our peace with it. Sometimes we lose. But sometimes we win.

We're warrior women, after all. Pain comes with the turf.

Baked? Broiled? Stirfried? Hot-flashed?

We cook, or we don't cook. Some of us cook from the outside in, looking at a recipe and following it to the letter. Some of us cook from the inside out, looking at ingredients and letting that guide what the dinner will be. Some of us bake; some of us boil; some of us barbecue. And not a few of us have hot flashes while we're doing so. We get flashes, we get chills, we get night sweats, we get cranky. We get moody and sometimes downright difficult. It's part of the process, the transition. Aging gracefully goes right out the window when sweat is streaming down your spine.

Heck. We're women warriors. We can deal with a bit of warmth.

Donkey, Elephant, Lizard, Owl

We're Democrats; we're Republicans. We're liberal, and we're conservative. We're right-wing and we're left-wing and we're someplace in the middle. We're frothingly political. Except for those of us who are completely not interested in politics. We're completely set in our ways, and open to change if you convince us properly and rightly.

But we're warrior women. We know which side we're on.

Amen

We're Protestant. We're Catholic. We're Baptist and we're Episcopalian. We're Presbyterian. We're Mormon. We're Buddhist and Islamic. We're atheists and agnostics. Some of us might be Wiccan; some of us might not be. We firmly believe in the right of a person to firmly believe in what they believe. However - don't sell us short by telling us what we believe in.

We're warrior women. We believe what we believe.

Same Difference

We are French; we are British; we are Polish. We are from Germany, and Sweden, and South Africa. We live in India, Israel and Japan. We were born in China and Brazil. We grew up in Greece, Pakistan and New Jersey. Our homes are in Italy, Denmark and Venezuela. Many of us are American, and many of us are not. It doesn't matter in the long run, though - there are very few differences in truth.

Our outsides are white, pale ivory, night-black, tanned, chestnut, coffee, light chocolate, dark chocolate, cream, ebony, silvery, golden. It matters not.

We're warrior women, after all, and our hearts beat to the same rhythms.

To All My Sisters

whether I've met you yet or not

Social networking is not all Facebook and MySpace, blog communities and neighborhoods. It is not all metrics and memes, divisions and geoprofiling.

We were heavily invested in social networking long before this World Wide Web stuff came along. We carpooled, we shared bake sale duties, we did PTA, we visited each other when it was right to do so, and held ourselves away when it was the wrong time to visit.

It's not all about what boxes you fit into or don't fit into. It is not all about the people you know 'on the outside' as definiing the people you need 'on the inside.'

Don't sell yourselves short. Don't ignore the ingrained warrior mentality that serves you well 'on the outside' and off the web. Bring your self along as you find yourself reaching into the social networks in existence or starting your own.

If you find one that doesn't feel right, or a place where you feel you "don't belong," leave it. Find another of the thousands of places where people are beginning to gather, reach out, participate - sense if it is the right place for you to be you.

After all.. we are warrior women. We know what the right approach is for our selves.

Your Social Network of Choice

Where do you turn? What do you recommend? Vote 'em into position (or send me an email if you want one added).