Wedding Reception Protocol - Find Your Way Through

A formal wedding reception is typically held in the restaurant of a hotel so that the facilities and staff are on-hand for a full-on sit-down meal -- and this is sometimes still referred to as the "wedding breakfast". You should also consider an informal reception with a buffet menu as a less expensive option

When the guests begin to arrive at the reception, they are normally greeted by what is called the receiving line. This is typically the mother and father of the bride, plus the bridegroom's mother and father, then the bride, and finally the groom -- and in that order. If a large number of guests are attending then you might want to simply have the bride and groom welcoming the guests to speed things up.

The guests are then normally given a drink, and then when all of the guests have arrived they can begin to search for their place name cards in the dining area. The bride and groom will have sorted all this out well in advance, and the only point of protocol to remember here is that at a formal wedding reception there is traditionally a top table for the main members of the wedding party.

At some point the cake is normally cut -- this is either at the end of the reception or part-way through. The bride will hold the knife in her right hand, with the groom's right hand on top of hers, and then the bride's left hand on top of that.

This is a big photo opportunity and the newly-weds will often have to stand in that same position with a smile on their faces for many minutes! Then the cake is taken away by the waiters and waitresses so that it can be sliced ready to be given out at the end of the reception as people are leaving.

Note: You may want to hold back the top tier to save for the christening of the couple's first-born.

After the cake-cutting ceremony we come to the highlight of the reception: the wedding speeches.

• The first to speak is the bride's father. He normally says a few words and then proposes the main toast: "Health and happiness to the bride and bridegroom" (or something similar to that).


• The bridegroom then responds, and he thanks the bride's parents and the guests, and he finishes by proposing a toast to the health of the bridesmaids.


• The best man then speaks, and he replies for the bridesmaids, reading out the congratulatory cards and telegrams. The best man also relates some stories about the groom (and bride, if they are friends too).

That is really everything as far as tradition is concerned but, if they wish, the bride, bride's mother, and the maid of honor (chief bridesmaid) can all make speeches -- but it is best to check with the bride and groom first to see how they want the reception to go.

Any and all of the speeches can be serious or humorous, but giving a speech is a high-stress activity for many people.

You may want to think about using a pre-written speech. This is always worth considering, and there are several web sites offering material for you to use, and you can always edit what they give you to make it completely suitable and applicable to your wedding reception (and a good-quality web site will provide guidance on how to re-write what they provide).

Getting someone else to do the hard work is not only a great time-saver, but relieves you of the large amount of stress -- and you can have bags of confidence that what they give you will work.

Such pre-written speech templates can be bought for next to nothing -- and trust me: paying for them is worth it as they have been created and honed by professionals.

If there is to be dancing, the bride and groom are the first to take to the dance floor. They are normally followed by the maid of honor dancing with the best man, and then members of both families join them.

At some point the bride and groom will quietly slip away from the reception to change into their "normal" clothes. They will then return to their guests to say their good-byes before beginning their honeymoon. Just before they depart, the bride will normally throw her bouquet into the air -- and tradition says that the female who catches it will be the next to be married. Sometimes, additionally, the groom tosses the bride's garter to the men among the guests, and the one who catches it then has to put it on the leg of the girl who caught the bouquet.

The bride and groom will then get into their car, and it has usually been decorated by other guests; then they drive off into the sunset to start the honeymoon and the rest of their lives together.

Finally, remember that the whole point of the wedding is for the benefit of the bride and groom, and that wedding protocol is, after all, just a set of guidelines. It's what the guests will be expecting, so if you plan to deviate from tradition it's probably best to let everyone know in advance so as to avoid disappointment.

Plan it carefully, then relax and enjoy yourselves!