Wedding Ceremony Vows - How to Write Your Own
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Sensational Wedding Ceremony Vows
So many couples tell me they are going to write their own wedding ceremony vows...and then later tell me to use the "standard vows." They just found it too hard and gave up.
That's too bad because I know they'd really like to write their vows, and I know that the family and guests really like hearing the couple say their own vows.
For some other couples, it's a little funny to me that they often act like they don't want to be seen or heard at their own wedding. I know...the nerves, the emotions, and maybe you don't like being the center of attention.
But that's why everyone has come. Not to see & hear the minister or officiant, but YOU.
By the way, even if you decide to say "I do" or repeat some time-tested vows, make sure things are set up so people can hear you. As a wedding minister, the biggest complaint I hear after weddings from the guests is that they could not hear the couple.
Ok, back to topic one. I'm doing this "lens" to encourage you & offer some tips on how you can write your vows. Scroll down and you can see some vows others have written to inspire you, or you can add yours for others to see!
You can also check out another lens about my At-Home Marriage Preparation Course. It's fun and even the guys like it!
Wedding Vows - Tips to Personalize Your Vows
- Look at some standard vows and use them as a starting point. Which element of the vows would you like to include or emphasize . . . lifetime commitment, the meaning of love, the ups and downs of life & a relationship, etc.
- Think about what marriage means to you. Write down your ideas and then restate them in the form of a promise.
- What are the qualities in your mate that you admire most? Write them down and then in the form, "I love you because . . . " Or "I want to become your husband/wife because . . ."
- There! That should give you enough to put it all together. Try to write short, simple statements. Write and rewrite if necessary. Read it out loud to see how it sounds.
Our Vows - How Long Should They Be?
Well, that's really up to you, but here are some of my thoughts after performing hundreds of weddings.One, while you might not want to show each other what you have written before your wedding ceremony, you should have some general ground rules for what you are going to do . . . including how long the vows are. I've seen the bride pull out a whole page filled and the groom has a slip of paper with 4 lines! He's already in trouble on his wedding day :)
Two, you don't have to say everything in the ceremony. I'm not saying your vows should be real, real short, but we've all been in those situations where we got far more information than we needed. So just use good judgment.
Three, it's just about always best to follow the K.I.S.S. formula. Keep It Simple (or Short) Sweetie!
What Engagement Rings Are Popular?
- Pear Shaped Engagement Rings
- Don't want to be just like everybody else? More couples are now choosing this special ring shape to stand out from the crowd. Such as? Well, actress Katherine Heigl chose a 3-carat pear shaped engagement ring. (a special touch is that a portion of the platinum in the band was from her mother's engagement ring).
- Antique Style Engagement Rings
- The old wedding traditions and look of things is still very appealing. If that's you, you might like to look at some antique style wedding rings. Not old rings, but newly manufactured antique looking rings.
- Asscher Cut Engagement Rings
- Kate Hudson and Reese Witherspoon are two well-known brides who've discovered how special these rings are. And they made an "appearance" on the TV sit-com Sex and the City. With this kind of exposure, these rings are creating a stir and now are a bit easier to find than they used to be.
- Marquise Diamond Engagement Rings
- This ring is all about nobility and sophistication. It goes beyond the traditional round-stone shapes to an oval, narrow look with pointed ends. Someone has compared it to a football. Just envision a football upright on a kicking tee. Maybe that'll get "his" attention!
- Round Cut Diamond Engagement Rings
- Round cut diamond engagement rings these days have something like fifty eight "facets." These facets work like tiny mirrors reflecting light. The more facets, the more light is reflected and therefore greater sparkle. That why the round cut engagement ring is also called the brilliant cut.
Will We Memorize Our Wedding Vows?
Most people can't do it. It's not that they can't memorize...it's the emotion of the moment! You can barely remember your own name at that point.I did a wedding for a couple who are professional actors and they did recite their personal vows. It was very impressive, and I didn't get the feeling they were acting (or maybe they are that good).
So if you can memorize & recite your vows . . . go for it . . . but most couples decide not to try it.
So how do you do it? A few options here.
Least best is to repeat the vows after the minister/officiant.
Second best is for the minister/officiant to hold your written vows. You try to do them by memory, and if you get stuck, the officiant can give you the next 2-3 words to get you going again. You probably know already in doing this you don't have to say it exactly the way you wrote it. Who is going to know?
The best option in my opinion is for you to hold the piece of paper with your vows and glance down as you need to. People don't think badly of you for doing that when you gone to the trouble of writing your own vows. The officiant can have the pieces of paper and hand them to you at that point in the ceremony, or the best man has them, or you can have them. Whatever works best for you.
The Vows Ceremony - A Time for Humor?
If you do, be very careful. You don't want to do anything to embarrass your partner.You've got to be good at it to use humor, so watch out!
My opinion is that the vow part of the ceremony is the more solemn portion. I've always believed that a wedding ceremony should be a mix...it's a celebration but also a solemn event. There should be laughter and smiles, but there is a serious side too.
The vows are mostly your statements of commitment, promises and reasons "I love you & want to marry you."
Oh, I just thought of one bride who couldn't stop laughing during her vows (nerves I'm sure). That was ok I suppose until we got to the part where she said "I will be faithful to you always" and she once again burst out laughing. The groom was not laughing!
So whether to use humor in your vows? You decide. But if you do, and I'm officiating your ceremony, I may want to take a step back!
What's the Funniest/Strangest Thing You've Seen at a Wedding?
Add yours, vote on others
Snake handlers
This wedding was held at the Nashville Zoo. The co more...1 point
Don't eat the cake
The groom was a biologist, so the groom's cake was more...0 points
Bride couldn't stop laughing
Sometimes brides and grooms laugh to keep from cry more...0 points
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Wedding Ceremony Vows Samples
Real Personalized Vows - Add Yours!
I give my life, my heart, my dreams...
and my soul to you this day as your loving, devote more...0 points
I have loved you from the moment...
we had our first dance. I love every moment I shar more...0 points
As I stand before you today, I can't promise
you a lifetime of happiness without hardships, mis more...0 points
Starting a life with you begins full of hope and
promise. I know that whatever weather the days ahe more...0 points
I never knew true, unconditional love until
yours touched me. You have given me laughter, joy, more...0 points
Today I could say that I take you
in sickness and in health, for richer or for poore more...0 points
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by RWG
Ralph Griggs is a nondenominational wedding minister from Nashville, Tennessee
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