What is my reason for doing this? Is it really what I want?

How am I going to do this? What is the best and healthiest way to do it?

Why am I still not sure that I want to lose weight?

How do I choose a program?

You should really take this life changing decision seriously and at least ask yourself some of these questions.

Why do you really want to lose weight? Do you want to be just another Yo-Yo dieter? Do you want to lose weight just so you can fit into that sexy little costume? Or is it because you want to feel good about yourself?

For some people it is just a fad, and for some it is peer pressure. It seems to me that most people, who go on a diet trying to lose weight, do it for all the wrong reasons and inevitably fail.

First there's the image that glossy magazines are promoting. Then there are the hints from family and friends that you should perhaps lose a few pounds or that there's this new diet...

But why do you really want to lose weight?

Start a journal and be honest with yourself.

If you decide that you have to lose weight, the most important thing that you have to do first is: Get a Physical Check Up!

It is just a fact of life that without knowing it, you might have a heart condition for example. Maybe it is a condition that you were born with but for which there is a safe way to still achieve your goal.

For example; when I was still working in a military hospital, we created weight loss and exercise programs to suit patients who had serious heart attacks. Most of them lived to a ripe (and fit) old age.

You have to shape your weight loss program around your personal physical conditions. We may have been created equal but we were definitely not born physically the same.

Ok, so I assume you want to lose weight, and permanently if possible.

Oh, still not sure?

Why do you think you're overweight? Is there a psychological reason? Maybe it is something from your past? If you cannot answer these questions honestly, you're setting yourself up for failure. Losing weight for the right reasons is serious business. It is like changing your life.

Now is really the time to write everything in that journal. Dig deep, be honest with yourself and then write all these questions down, and try to answer them. This inner dialogue should be your inspiration or the realization that you don't have to do this to feel good about yourself.

Sometimes, for some of us, it may be too painful to do all this on our own. It may be a fear of failure or poor self image. It may be something so dark and painful that you cannot deal with it on your own. If so, get help before you waste your time and do even more damage. You have to really want to feel good about yourself.

Please keep writing in that journal. This is where the healing starts for some of us. To finally face your demons and leave them in the past so you can deal with the present.

Remember to lose weight and keep it off is a lifestyle choice. We choose or should choose, what we want to be or look like to ourselves, consciously or subconsciously. We shape our lives ourselves without the help of others. Your choices are still completely your own. There is no turning back. We do not live in the past. We live for this moment. We dream of the future but we only have now.

You will see shapely beautiful people in glossy magazines and you will want to follow their weight loss programs.

Fatal mistake; stars and other celebrities are famous for their yo-yo and starvation diets, and they have all kinds of consultants and personal trainers that only they can afford. I want to emphasize what I said earlier. We were definitely not created equally as far as physical attributes are concerned. Feel good about yourself and you will be beautiful. You cannot compare yourself with somebody else.

Try to find somebody who knows something about weight loss programs and how to match it up to your unique situation. Dieticians are usually the best choice.

If you are going to add exercise to the program and you join a gym with a resident trainer, keep your physician's recommendations in mind.

If you're going to lose weight on your own by buying a book then this is the time to put everything you have into the process. If you follow a prescribed program you will have a structure. Otherwise you're on your own and this is how to do it.

The first step is to visualize your goal. In other words, get a very clear picture in your mind of what you want to look like and how you want to feel. If possible take a 'before' photo and visualize the 'after' part.

Take five minutes before you go to sleep and five minutes after waking up in the morning, and just visualize every aspect of how you want to look and feel. Maybe you can take up meditation to help you with this.

I did this when I stopped smoking twenty eight years ago. I just stopped one night after seventeen years of smoking between twenty and thirty cigarettes a day and that was that. I never touched a cigarette or had any cravings again.

Visualization is a very powerful force. If used correctly you can use it to accomplish nearly everything you want.

The next step is to shut out criticism. You will get a lot of that I can assure you. Especially from those people you think are nearest to you.

When they see you're successful they will try to bring you down with negative comments, completely innocent and most of the time without ever meaning to hurt you. That's what they're used to especially if you always had poor self esteem and got hurt easily. It is as if they feel they are losing their power over you.

It will be little things like saying: "This is only the beginning. Wait till you pass the first week, then the cravings will start." They will even go on and say that you must be strong and keep up the good work, planting that little seed of self-doubt. When you fail they will comfort you and welcome you back into the fold, feeling good that they warned you.

Most people fail at something in life because of negative criticism. This is not about them; this is about you and you alone. You have to feel comfortable in your own skin and with your own decisions.

If possible, get yourself a partner who can do this with you. It will make all the difference.

Now for the next step

Take the plunge.

Now you have a program (I hope so) and you've written down your goals (realistic of course) in your journal. Like most people you skim over the program, eager to start. Right, now you think you have all the answers and you're ready and raring to go.

You start off great, you starve but what the heck, this is for the greater good. At the end of the first week you brag at the office that you have lost so many pounds.

But, oops! The second week goes by and you lose nothing. The third week, still nothing and by now you're feeling down, and you start slipping an extra snack in every now and then, and you're slowly starting to gain weight.

Write this all down in your journal. This is you, and as such you cannot be dishonest with yourself. It is like that old song: "Where do you go to my lovely, when you're alone in your bed?"

If you have not given up by now, excellent! You may just make it.

Your body just told you to take a hike. It's starving and it will hold on to all the water and fat it can store. It will eat the muscle but will not lose the energy that it needs during starvation.

Have you seen photos of people starving? The first thing to go is the muscle.

It may sound crazy but this is the process that will work for most people. Add a little extra food/calories to your diet day by day and weigh yourself every day as you do this. Slowly but surely you will see your weight starting to decrease again.

There is a natural fail-safe system built into our bodies to protect us from starvation. Your body will try and restore a balance when your daily calorie intake is too low. This is very critical for certain body types especially if you are very inactive.

All you have to do is to increase your calorie intake to that level where your body feels safe (not starving) again.

You're on your way.

Good luck and lots of good health.

I know all this may sound stupid, dramatic and oversimplified to some people, but the motivational part of the weight loss process is usually left out of any program. Get motivated and then take inspired action.

What I don't get or like is that people who write books on the subject has this way of talking down to their readers. It is as if we're a bunch of morons who got to be overweight through stupidity. Some will actually spend about one paragraph on the subject of mindset. Motivation has nothing to do with force. Everything is not just about cold hard facts and measurements.

There is absolutely nothing pleasant about weight loss. It's hard to do and physically and psychologically draining. The more you try, and fail, the harder it is and the more your self esteem suffers. I know from experience.

There is so much more involved other than just eating less and shedding weight in order to fit in. To fit in where, the loony bin?

I can write a whole book just on the preparation beforehand and motivation during and after the process, and maybe I will. However, for now I'm just hoping that this overview will explain in part what is involved and that I can be of help.