What causes jealousy?
Often we think that what causes jealousy is triggered by external factors. This is a popular mistake. Whilst we are all of course affected one way or another by what we see and hear, the route cause of jealousy is always internal, 100% of the time.
But learning what causes jealousy can be a difficult thing, personally, but there is a systematic approach to learning why you feel the way you do. There are many things that cause jealousy and as many people have discovered often when it's too late to fix it, the cure is not going to happen externally. Jealousy is often triggered by low self esteem or self image. The basic equation is that our entire world is filtered through our perception filters. If we have a bad self image, or don't feel highly about ourselves then our filters are corrupt. Things we see on the outside are changed and our emotional reactions are misplaced.
But learning what causes jealousy can be a difficult thing, personally, but there is a systematic approach to learning why you feel the way you do. There are many things that cause jealousy and as many people have discovered often when it's too late to fix it, the cure is not going to happen externally. Jealousy is often triggered by low self esteem or self image. The basic equation is that our entire world is filtered through our perception filters. If we have a bad self image, or don't feel highly about ourselves then our filters are corrupt. Things we see on the outside are changed and our emotional reactions are misplaced.
Jealousy is a manifestation of our fears even if they are unfounded
For example, if we are deeply addicted to our lovers attention, love, and admiration, but feel that we don't deserve it for whatever reason, we will start to worry about her leaving us or moving on, then jealousy starts to kick in. This perception is only in our head, and we tend to over analyze things, assigning them value that is non-existent. Our own fear of her leaving us for a better looking man, makes us see any man we consider better looking a threat. Although he may approach her and they have a normal conversation, jealousy makes us worry about the exchange. Every little thing he or she does is calculated as for or against us. These things aren't really happening, but in our mind our fear consumes us. Jealousy is a manifestation of our own fears and worries, and often if we don't get it in check- inside ourselves, not externally in the outside world, we can generate a self fulfilling prophecy of losing the one we love and need.
Are you being paranoid with your jealousy?
Although your lover may be 100% devoted to you, thinks of only you, you may not even see this if your paranoid. You will also assign this plus or minus equation to her movements deducting that if she doesn't give you her full attention that she doesn't enjoy being with you. Your actions of jealousy and paranoia may cause her frustration and by your own actions you may change her mind of how she feels about you. Your jealousy will drive her away. You tend to make her want to escape the frustration your distrust is causing her, and when she leaves you, you will even confirm your suspicions when in reality it happened only because you didn't deal with the feelings, at the core. This is jealousy fulfilling it's own destiny
Recognising and fixing jealousy is down to you.
Jealousy can be fixed, it can be torn apart and figured out, but you have to admit it is a problem and that you want to change. You need to work on how you see yourself, your self esteem, and control your thought stream/internal dialogue. The real problem here is inside, and once that is dealt with, all external factors, rather illusions you create to rationalize your feelings, disappear, and confidence ensues. Discover The Signs Of Jealousy
Dealing With Jealousy
How To Overcome Jealousy
Pathological Jealousy in Paranoid Personality Disorder
by SarahJenson
SarahJenson
Beating jealousy is something that has become very close to my heart. It is a much maligned subject that has been the cause of many a relationship bre... more »
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