What Happened To Football?

Whether we choose to call it diving, or perhaps refer to it somewhat more euphemistically as "going down a little bit too easily," there can be little argument against the fact that it is a form of cheating and spoils many a good game of football. How often do we see it? Is there ever a game goes by where it doesn't happen? How often, as well, do we find that it is those most talented of players, who should have no need to cheat to gain advantage, that are guilty of this act?

There are certain cultures and nations in which it is most prolific but the reality is that it happens to one extent or another in every country where the game is played and has been going on for as long as I can remember.

Referees are now instructed to book the offenders but there are times when the official (who is only human, after all) is completely fooled and a free kick or penalty is awarded and a totally innocent player and team are punished.

What is the answer? A straight red card for offenders would be one step in the right direction...

The offside rule has always led to controversy. How often have you heard decisions being disputed in the pub, or on the TV by studio pundits and commentators, or in post-match press conferences with club officials? It must be one of the most common arguments in football, whether or not a particular goal should have been allowed to stand.

So why, oh why, bearing this in mind, did FIFA (the Federation of International Football Associations), in their wisdom, deem it appropriate to further complicate the rule? Phase one? Phase two? Who genuinely knows on some occasions, even with the benefit of TV evidence?

Perhaps it is just a cunning plan to take some of the heat off match officials in that punters will feel sorry for those faced with making the decision and be less inclined to direct abuse at them...?

How many players in the game today can you think of, straight off the top of your head, who are regularly capable of taking a quality corner kick? I can't think of a single one, I'm afraid.

The first "problem" which seems to confuse our corner-kick takers in the modern era is that it is a specific requirement, written within the laws of the game, that the ball be placed in the quarter circle drawn around the corner-flag, within the field of play, prior to the kick being taken! How difficult is that to comprehend? I have been at matches and have seen from the opposite end of the pitch that the ball is outwith the allowed zone, and some of the positioning displayed on close-up TV images is a disgrace.

The above point may seem somewhat trivial but I genuinely see it as a deliberate flaunting of the laws of the game for no significant purpose or likely gain. What is not trivial, however, is the overwhelming inability of players taking corner-kicks today to actually get the ball over the first defender and into the penalty-box. The next time you are watching a match, pay particular attention to this and see for yourself how often the advantage which should be obtained from this set-piece is lost when a defender short of the near post heads the ball clear. Considerable practice required, worldwide...

The worst of the lot, however - and one of the things which annoys me most in modern football - is when another player from the team who have the corner-kick joins the player taking the kick, in close proximity of the corner-flag, to take receipt of that most ridiculous of football concepts, the "short corner." This is tactical incompetence which I would not expect to see from seven year olds! Can't they see that the one and only thing they are achieving is taking two of their own men out of attacking play to take the corner instead of one!

Talk about back to basics...

I remember reading a quote from a football manager some years ago (I can't remember which one!) where he said that his team's only tactic was to try and win the match. Oh, how I wish more managers and coaches today would subscribe to this theory! What gives them the nonsensical notion that drawing up and attempting to implement battle tactics as complicated as those prepared for Operation Overlord will improve their team's performance and make them more attractive to watch? Putting markers on quality opponents, utilising fast wingers - fine. But why does a team really need, for instance, a Manager, Assistant Manager, First Team Coach, Assistant First Team Coach, etcetera, etcetera? What do these "backroom" staff actually do all day and all week...?

There are a great many reasons why, on occasion, we may be forced to miss seeing the big match televised live on TV. It may be something obvious like the TV having broken down, it may be that we are not a subscriber to the channel upon which it is being shown...it may even be that our "other half" is watching something on a different channel!

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In the past fifteen to twenty years, the fees payed to transfer players between clubs and the wages subsequently paid to the individuals themselves have sky-rocketed. This is down to a number of factors, including vastly improved sponsorship agreements and TV megadeals, both of which provide the clubs with "cash to flash." Transfer records and wage structures seem to be getting smashed faster than we can keep track of, so much so that there has already been much talk about "capping" the amounts of money involved.

"No player is worth that much money," is a claim which I have heard regularly made. Is that genuinely the case? Let us consider the matter for a moment without taking the actual figures into account:

Whenever we contemplate making a purchase - any type of purchase - surely what we do is weigh the price up against either how much use we shall get from the product or what value it will ultimately hold for us. Why should it be any different when the product we are discussing is a professional football player?

If Club A decides that by paying £30 million to Club B for their star striker he will ultimately contribute to them winning their Domestic League Title and the UEFA Champions League several times, with a combined income generation into nine figures, surely that constitutes a good business deal? There is also the sponsorship money they will generate from him with things like replica kits and product advertising. There is even the possibility that they can sell him on in a few years and get a sizeable portion of their fee back, if not perhaps even make a profit on the transfer deals alone!

So what must be our conclusion? Are football deals spiralling out of control?...Or do the concepts of simple supply and demand, as well as those others required to constiute a good business deal, apply all the way up the scale?

Picture the scene: you are sitting alone in your living room, watching the big match on TV, when suddenly you are struck with the pressing need to visit the bathroom or fetch another beer from the fridge. You deliberately wait until the ball goes out of play for a goal-kick before rushing to the relevant location, leaving the doors open that you at least may hear tale of the events as they unfold.

Suddenly, the commentator's voice rises two octaves and achieves fever pitch, right at a critical moment. In your haste to find out what is happening, you empty the entire contents of a fridge shelf onto the kitchen floor (or worse, dribble down your left leg!) and rush back to the living room, merely to discover that nothing more exciting than a throw-in award at the half-way line has occured!

Honestly, what are these commentators all about? I have no doubt that it is part of their remit to make even the dullest of games sound marginally exciting (perhaps particularly in the case of radio commentators) but don't you agree that they frequently go way over the top?