When Darkness Settles In

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When You Don't Think You Can Live Another Day...

Life has its share of difficult moments; there's no doubt about it.

It doesn't matter who you are or how much money you have in the bank. It doesn't matter if you're surrounded by people at home or living alone. You may have a two bedroom house or a house with six bedrooms; you may have one annual vacation or three. It doesn't matter because difficult situations arise regardless of your quality of life.

You experience such a diverse range of emotions that, sometimes, you wonder how you will cope with everything you are feeling. Sometimes just the thought of waking another day seems overwhelming because you are tired of dealing with the garbage life throws your way.

If this is the way you currently feel, I encourage you to continue reading because you may find the answers you seek.

Consumed by the bad

Sometimes you are consumed by the sadder aspects of life that you forget about feeling joyful and thankful for the blessings in your life...

"Even when things seem hopeless, there's always a reason to give thanks."

Sometimes...

you have days when everything flows smoothly. You wake up on time, get the children off to school, and head to your job soon afterward.

You're productive at work and things are going well at home.

You have no difficulty in paying your monthly bills and have no immediate concerns pressing upon you.

What's not to love?

"Then come the other days...the days you'd rather sleep through than be part of."

"Picking Through Garbage" Days 

The days you love to hate

You start your day by waking late and can easily get frustrated with your children if they take too long to eat, or dress too slowly.


Your car or truck won't start, the bus is running late or the taxi takes too long to arrive because the driver is so busy; you realize you're going to be late for work.

You get to work, already frustrated because you're late, only to find out you have an emergency to take care of. An employee won't show up for work and you have to find someone to cover their shift, or you have an unexpected deadline to meet, in two hours.

Then you receive a phone call informing you that your child is sick. You now have to find a babysitter to tend to your child or take the remainder of the day off.

Sound familiar?
These are what I call "picking through garbage" days.

Smooth days; chaotic days

Some days run smoothly, while others are chaotic.
Some days you're glad you rose from bed while, on others, you wish you remained there.
Some days you're proud to have a job but, on others, you feel like staying home for good.

What's to love? 

What's to love about picking-through-garbage days?
Can you think of anything - anything at all?

Actually, there are a few things:

  • You learn to appreciate the easy days.
  • You understand the difference between peace and impatience; you witness the difference in how people act around you - whether they're comfortable or tense.
  • You learn about consequences. If you stay up too late, you can't expect to wake up on time every morning. If you are frustrated with the people around you, you can't expect them to come to you with open arms, showering you with affection.
  • You learn skills in patience and endurance. The tough days won't last forever and your feelings only last for the duration of the "picking-through-garbage" days.
  • You learn to temper your feelings and begin to swim against the current today, with the current tomorrow.
  • You learn that you have little control over your day. Certainly, you make choices which affect the outcome of your day. However, you have no control over someone becoming ill, the stormy weather, or the cold temperature in winter.

Look for the silver lining

When you must "pick through the garbage..." 

Look for the gold

Instead of feeling guilty about missing work because your child is sick, go home and enjoy cuddling your child. Put on a movie and pop some popcorn, lie on the couch, and relax. Your child will fare better and so will you.

Instead of becoming stressed, learn to relax and you will think more clearly.

Most importantly, you do not know exactly what a day will bring forth. Therefore, begin your day with the attitude that nothing will happen that you and God cannot handle together. Carrying this attitude with you will always give you a measure of hope.

"Let's change perspective for a few minutes; let's talk about me..."

My personal reasons to be thankful in life 

They are steadfast, tried and true.

An entry I wrote onto my website,
Norma's Poetry,
on Nov.12/2004...



Through most of my life I used to thank God for a gift, or blessing, and be done with it...

It isn't so, lately. I can't seem to thank God enough for my friends, family, my home and job, as well as all the talents He saw fit to bestow upon me.

There are times, my heart dances all day long. I'm so excited and happy and it's impossible to contain my joy and enthusiasm. I sing the day away, or act like a clown, making people laugh (including myself.) I love these days and I'm thankful for them. It seems my Father is smiling down on me and joining in on the fun.

Then there are the other days...the days when I feel burdened...the days when my heart dances to a slower song...the days when I can't keep time with the wild, unfettered, exuberant pace. My eyes shed tears while my heart bleeds, so much so I think it'll bleed me dry.

I hear the song of salvation and eternal love playing in my soul and I sing along, with great effort, wondering how much more my spirit can take, before it shatters, completely.

But then a miracle occurs!!!



I lift my head and my voice towards Heaven, in Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for, even on the tough days.

If you would like to know my reasons, here they are:

  1. I have feelings. They are not always happy and joyful, but I'm not void of emotion. I can FEEL.
  2. I know God is preparing a way for me to get through each new day He grants me.
  3. I know God will never give me more than I can bear; He promised! If something was going to occur in my future that He knew I couldn't bear, He would take me home to be with Him. This should not be cause for alarm; instead, it should be a reason to rejoice.
  4. I know God sees everything and I can, safely, trust His eyesight. His vision is better than 20/20; it's clairvoyant (He sees everything). He won't lead me on a wrong path. If I journey somewhere, it's for a reason, and He will show me when the time comes, and I will appreciate His effort. He is always protecting me from something; even when I suffer, things could have been worse.
  5. I know God won't be surprised by anything I go through, any emotions I feel, or any thoughts I think. He has already set plans in motion to deal with the times I step away from His ideals.
  6. Because of the rough days, I can more fully appreciate the exuberant, wild, unfettered dance of carefree days...

An update

Of course, I now have three children --- three reasons to look forward to each day.

Not to mention Owen...a soul mate and companion, regardless of the trials life brings.

Carefree days are what I live for; they keep me going!

Let's place the focus back on you. 

Examine yourself to learn the answer to this question...

Loading poll. Please Wait...

"Okay...the time has come to examine a few solutions which may help you..."

But first of all...

I don't know who you are, where you live or what your background is.
You may read this lens and I'll never know unless you tell me.

But I care about you...

I care about your struggles...
I care about your family...
I care about everything that bothers you...
I care about the fact that you may not want to live to see tomorrow...

It truly makes my heart sad...
but even worse...
it makes my soul bleed.

I want you to enjoy the hope and promise of tomorrow!

Solutions for your situation 

Ponder these with an open-mind

You struggle every day, though some days are harder than others. You may be happy and, within the space of a heartbeat - for no apparent reason - you begin to cry. You wonder what's wrong with you and often feel you are the only person in the world suffering as you do.

There's hope! Yes, that other four-letter word - which has the ability to humble you, increase your faith and make you feel better - wants you to acknowledge its presence.

Why? As long as there is a ray of hope, you'll survive what you are facing today. Even better, you'll have the potential to live a victorious life.

Consider the following solutions as possibilities in resolving your situation and if you have other possible solutions, please feel free to add them to the list.

1

Vote Up
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Realize that you are not alone.

This is an important point which many people fail more...1 point

2

Vote Up
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Don't be too proud to seek help.

Don't feel ashamed because you cannot deal with yo more...1 point

3

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Exercise faith

Your situation may not get resolved as quickly as more...1 point

4

Vote Up
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Be honest about your situation

Sometimes it's difficult to see what's in front of more...0 points

5

Vote Up
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Examine yourself

Ask yourself this question: "If life was diff more...0 points

6

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Get some necessary space

If you struggle in your marriage, sometimes a litt more...0 points

7

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Trust your instincts

If something feels too good to be true, it likely more...0 points

8

Vote Up
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Pray fervently

God knows you better than you know yourself. If yo more...0 points

9

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Recognize your own symptoms

Are you clinically depressed? If so, there are tre more...0 points

10

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Evaluate your diet

Does your diet include too much sugars and grains? more...0 points

Some materials to consider 

Help is available in so many places...even Amazon

There's no obligation to buy these products and you don't need to feel bad about looking at them. For now, that's all you are doing...unless you, decide to change your mind; there's absolutely no pressure on my end.

When struggling

One of the greatest things you must remember is that you are not alone in your struggles.

The next most important thing is that there is always hope - hope for you and hope for your situation.

"A great idea on any day is to write about your thoughts and feelings."

Using a journal as a tool to help yourself 

I'm opening this debate for people whether or not they suffer from depression. I'd like to hear the opinions of the world at large.

Does writing in a journal really help people overcome depression?

Loading Fetching blurbs now... please stand by

It definitely does!

alteredkat says:

I think so...when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer I immediately started a gratitude journal...I found it so healing...when the pages quickly filled up I changed my rountine to more like bedtime prayers...everynight when I 1st lay down I remind myself of all the things that day that I was grateful for. :o)

Posted November 20, 2009

Lois says:

I believe journaling definately helps....esp with baby blues....a way to vent. I always kept a journal after babies to remember the details. Baby blues was part of why I started blogging in the first place after recently having twins in addition to the 4 I had=)

Posted November 06, 2009

Kelsey-Budden-16 says:

It does. :-) It really does.

Posted October 31, 2009

Norma_Budden says:

Writing my thoughts has certainly helped me over the years. I don't write in journals all the time but when I struggle with issues, it's always been therapeutic to write. It could be in journal format or in the form of a poem. Regardless, it was always helpful. While entering thoughts into a journal may not truly solve depression, I believe it helps people keep a better perspective on life, especially if they are also writing about good events happening in their lives.

Posted October 31, 2009

Jewelsofawe says:

Sure, I think it can

Posted October 31, 2009

I can't see how that's possible!

 

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You don't realize how deep your thoughts run until you begin to document them in a journal.

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Did you know that abusive people are often struggling with some form of depression? Anger is often the mask they hide behind so as not to reveal their true feelings.

As much as I'd love to help 

I realize you may need more

Though I love to talk, I'm known to be a great listener when people are struggling; I'm also known for dispensing suggestions which others have found helpful.

However, I am humble enough to realize that you may need something more than this lens can offer. Though my heart and soul is in the right place, this lens may not meet your particular need...and that's OK because there are other great lenses and websites available for you to consider.

Whatever the case...please...do not give up hope.

Other lenses which may be of help 

I've personally hand-picked these selections because I thought you might fine great benefit from them.
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On November 21, 1995 my husband chose suicide as the answer to ending his long battle with depression. We, my daughters and I, still struggle with his decision after all of this time. Our hearts are still broken and will probably never completely men...

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Depression can be a one-off problem or a recurring issue in your life. Either way, it's a downer when depression hits and it's not always immediately obvious to other people that you're suffering. Especially as men have been trained over the years t...

What is your teen thinking? 

Do you really know?

As parents, one of our greatest fears in life is that of being less than the parent we had hoped to be. We fear our children growing into teens, exploring the world with a different set of eyes...and, sometimes, ideals.

The link I am referring you to was created by my 15-year-old daughter. Though I cannot say I agree with everything she does and says, something in this lens may help you if you are struggling in your life with your teen. You can decide for yourself.

A little background information: my daughter recently lost one of her best friends to suicide. In many ways, she feels it could have been prevented; this is part of the way she is dealing with her grief, in hopes that she may save the life of someone else.
featured lens The mind of a Teenager

If so, you might wanna consider reading this lens. There for, I am a teenager. It's possible that I could help you. In this lens I'm hoping to reach out to the parents who have teenagers. Maybe even other teens if they have an account and are...

Guest Comments Welcome 

If you've stopped by this lens, please leave your tracks ... and thoughts...here. If this lens has helped you in any way, it would do my heart proud and I would love to hear from you.

Furthermore, if you'd like to share your experiences without anyone else knowing, you can do so here because I will approve submissions before posting them. Just be sure to let me know if you want me to keep your response confidential and, if you are not a Squidoo member and would like to receive a response from me, be sure to leave your e-mail address in your response. It will only be used to correspond with you.

Thanks,
Norma

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by Norma_Budden

Depression - almost everywhere I turn, I learn of someone else who struggles from it, to some degree.

My life has not been perfect; I've had my share... (more)

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