Where does the time go?

My life and my journey... Hello my name is James. I'm a registered nurse at a very big hospital where I work as an ICU RN. Ever stop and wonder, How did I get here? I'm only 25 but I seem to be thinking that alot here lately. Not in a bad way. Here lately it seems everything and everyone is betting against me. But lets back up a bit and tell you how it all started.

I began my life in 1984 in a country setting just outside a small town. Nothing special but I loved it. Life was tough for my parents. My mom worked long hours as a waitress while my dad spent many days away from home on the railroad. We lived in a single wide hand me down trailer. Although it was tough I never knew we where poor. As I got to school age, my parents got me into sports just like every other young kid. I played baseball and loved every bit of it! I was quite good too. I went to a small school a few miles away where I made life long friends and enemies. It was tough. I didnt have exactly what you would call fashionable clothing or the prettiest smile ( I had some messed up teeth!). I always had a low self esteem because of my appearance and the fact that I looked like a bean pole. Middle School flew by with very little memories. The only memories I really have was of sports. In 7th and 8th grade I joined the basketball team. I wasnt very good and sat the bench in 7th grade, but when 8th grade rolled around, I grew into my own. I was the best player on the team and we where good. I started getting recognition by the girls and becoming popular all the sudden! I found my dream... To be a star basketball player. We had a school dance, kind of like a prom, but for middle school. The asked each and every 8th grader what they wanted to be when they grew up and published it in a "memory book" so we could look back as we got older. Mine said "I wanna be a NBA player". I gave up 9 years of baseball to pursue my dream. High School came right after and I couldnt wait until basketball season. I couldnt wait to hit the gym like all the other guys did in high school. I will never forget the first day of gym class. My buddy and I walking down the sidewalk to the football field towards the workout room, when I hear the chant of seniors screaming "fresh meat, fresh meat!" I knew I was about to get my initiation into the "real world". It seemed like every day until my senior year I was picked on by some bully. Trying to give me a "swirly" or tied me down to the weight bench. I couldnt wait to get out of high school. I played basketball every year 9-12, losing almost every game every year. It was so disapointing. I thought I was good and was going to make it to college. My dreams fell way short. I felt like I had nothing to live for. I had no other interests except sports. No college recruiter was ever going to come to this small run down town and give a "nobody" a shot. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. Nearing the end of my high schools years began to date a girl I had knew since 9th grade. She worked in a pharmacy part time and wanted to go to college to become a pharmacist. She told me all about it and how they make a lot of money. I said what the heck I'll try it too. High School ended with little memories except a few.....guess what they where? ( basketball of course ).

College came like the blink of the eye. I attended a small community college only a few minutes from home. Me and my girlfriend started taking classes that would get us into pharmacy school. It took her 3 years and a school transfer to get her classes to apply to pharmacy school. We started growing apart over the years and decided to end it after 5 long years. I felt like a life time. After 4 years of community college I finally applied to pharmacy school only to get rejected horribly. At this point in my life I felt as if I had nothing to live for. My basketball dreams crushed, my lack of book sense to earn a good living, my girlfriend was gone, and I lived in "the boonies". It seemed as if there was no way out. Then I learned that my college had an RN program. I had heard they make decent money and it was fairly easy to get in. So I applied and got in. I figured I would get my experience in and travel the US as a nurse trying to find my calling. As we all know things dont work out exactly how we plan. My second to last semester of nursing school I met a girl on the internet just a few miles away. We starting chatting on the internet and eventually talked on the phone. One day we went on a date and hit it off. I had something to smile about again! Nursing school came and past, I finally graduated and got a job in the "big city" about an hour away from home. Me and my girlfriend got married on December 12th 2009. We bought a house in the same town I grew up. And here we are today.

The reasoning behind this blog is that do you ever wonder what happen to the time? What happen to when all you had to think about was "where are me and the guys hanging out tonight" or "I cant wait til the game tomorrow". No jobs. No bills. No worries. Lately it seems all I can think about is how high my stack of bills are getting, or "am I going to lose my house?" You see, life isnt what its cut out to be. It deals you hands in this game of life that you'll never expect. Very shortly after my wife and I got married, she began to have several health problems. She lost her job and cannot work. Being only 25 I feel I have already been dealt a hand that just plain sucks. But I wont let it get me down. The sun will rise tomorrow wether we like it or not. What are you going to do with it? Some say life is a journey. I dont disagree,but I see it more as a game. You win some you lose some. I'm sure there are way more people out there with worse situations but this is my story. Remember, you win some you lose some. Practice for tomorrow. You never know when you'll hit a buzzer beater to win the game. ( I've actually done this, best feeling in the world)