Perfect Kids
I guess it is time for a little self-confession. When our first son was born my wife and I were concerned about what other people thought of us as parents. We wanted people at church, at the grocery store and our family to look at us and say, wow, they really know what they are doing. When in reality, we did not have a clue. We were more concerned about outward appearances and behavior and not how we were shaping our son's heart. In order to get the behaviors we wanted we resorted to rewards and manipulation as a means to get what we expected. We were looking out for ourselves and not our son. Well, it backfired on us and we taught our son to have control of situations and us just cringing at what would happen the next time we were out or had people over. It was not his fault, he just learned from our example.
Quick Overview
Try again
Since we did such a good job the first time around
Since we ruined our first kid, we thought we would give it another go around. This time we doubled up and had twin girls. Not too long after, we thought it would be a good idea to add another, so now we have another son.Our plan to stop the whining and complaining was just was not working.
As perfect as we once wanted our kids to be, this photo reflects more of the reality of our household on a day to day basis, but we have wised up some and are continuing to learn.
Through suggestions from friends in our small group at church and from others who were a little further up the learning curve of raising children we stumbled upon a few books that have really given us the guidance we needed.
Don't get me wrong, we still make mistakes and get off track, but now at least we have a better idea of where we need to be and can make mid flight adjustments.
Learning more every day.
Shepherding a Childs Heart was a big eye opener
Somebody Help Us Please!
Even before someone suggested this book to us, we used Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without arguing or complaining" in our house on big flash cards and verbal reminder to our kids that we did not want to hear whining and arguing. It was a rule without any legs, just words. Shepherding a Child's Heart opened us up to the next step we needed to take. It helped us concentrate more on Heart issues, like selfishness, honesty, and rebellion to name a few, not just behavior modification.
Instead of raising well behaved obedient kids on the surface, we can help shape their character in the teachable moments that are in front of us every day. We can raise kids with great hearts that choose to be kind, generous, compasionate and obedient because they know that is what God wants and it comes from their hearts.
It is an effective tool that can be read together as a couple to unify you as parents. It would also be a book to consider doing with your small group.
Even before someone suggested this book to us, we used Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without arguing or complaining" in our house on big flash cards and verbal reminder to our kids that we did not want to hear whining and arguing. It was a rule without any legs, just words. Shepherding a Child's Heart opened us up to the next step we needed to take. It helped us concentrate more on Heart issues, like selfishness, honesty, and rebellion to name a few, not just behavior modification.
Instead of raising well behaved obedient kids on the surface, we can help shape their character in the teachable moments that are in front of us every day. We can raise kids with great hearts that choose to be kind, generous, compasionate and obedient because they know that is what God wants and it comes from their hearts.
It is an effective tool that can be read together as a couple to unify you as parents. It would also be a book to consider doing with your small group.
Shepherding a Child's Heart
Amazon Price: $10.04 (as of 11/29/2009) 
Using in Small Groups
If you want to use in a small group or want additional information here are 2 books that will help.
Shepherding a Child's Heart: Parent's Handbook
Amazon Price: $8.00 (as of 11/29/2009)
List Price: $10.00
Usually ships in 24 hours
Shepherding A Child's Heart: Leader's Guide
Amazon Price: $6.95 (as of 11/29/2009)
List Price: $6.95
Usually ships in 24 hours
Here are a couple more we have enjoyed and have helped us
Audio Books on Raising Kids
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byWhat is your favorite book about Parenting?
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- familymoves familymoves Mar 3, 2009 @ 7:29 pm
- Thanks for the encouragement. I have read bringing up boys by dobson, I need to read strong will child, I think all 4 of ours are strong willed. Iw ill check it out.
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Reply
- salzanos salzanos Mar 3, 2009 @ 4:49 pm
- James Dobsons books are great! My children are now all grown up, and a awesome blessing to me. I started when my oldest son was 2yrs old, to read James Dobsons "the strong willed child". I also started going to church and learned what my foundation was to be, and the most important things to teach child. How to love them respect them and teach that to them.
Great lens here. Thanks
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Reply
- JosephWilliam JosephWilliam Sep 16, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
- Great insight and accountability concerning your parenting skills. A lot of parents don't realize how they affect their children. All the very best to you. Joseph
http://www.childrenbehaviors.com/
What do you think about our children's futures
My prediction:
familymoves, at 11am on October 6, 2008 predicts:
Our Children are being set up to fail in relationships with friends and family if we continue to allow them to be raised by the internet and video games
Reader predictions:
Fetching predictions now... please stand by1 of 1 pages
Fetching predictions now... please stand byby familymoves
I am a husband and a dad. My wife and I have 4 kids: an 9 year old son, twin daughters that are 5 and the newest addition a 2 year old son. In my spar... (more)
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